related: Stupid is as stuiped does

To wit: Marybeth spotted this totally [sic] bulletin board at Central Connecticut State University back in 2006.

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

“To be honest, I’m surprised the notewriter hasn’t taken to the street with a megaphone, demanding that the cowards who called the Health Department show themselves,” our submitter says. No such luck, however. ”My wife and I are dying to know who the snitch was,” he says, “but we’ve been left hanging!”

He adds: “I’ve considered mailing the writer an anonymous note stating that, strictly speaking, leaving notes in our mailboxes without paying postage is a violation of federal law. You know,  just to throw some fuel on the fire.” (I’d say submitting the note to this note is probably good enough.)

related: Thanks for your concern, but you have no idea what you’re talking about.

Confession: I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 27. I am a terrible parker. (I am slow, but I try.) If only I had bought a Ford!

related: The Mini Cooper owner’s dilemma — “Save the earth, kill the kids?!”

extra credit: “Chevy” [urbandictionary.com]

I appreciate the initial sentiment here — I really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that begins with “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” to a watery grave. so, for a brief flash in time, the note-writer had me. But then…the irregular Capitalizations, the excessive exclamation points!! and (seriously?) the pink flowery clip art…I’d say those make for some serious deductions in both the “technical merit” and “artistic impression” categories.

Judges — what say you of the final tally?

related: the rhyme that must be flushed

All in the name of shareholder value!

(Leaked by Sayf in Greenwich, Connecticut.)

related: Lean cuisine
extra credit: Morgan Stanley cancels Christmas, jobs [dealbreaker]

It was something of a surprise, then, Angie says, when this sign appeared on each of the walls and stall doors.

In particular, Angie would like to draw your attention to the lower left-hand portion of the sign. “There are several lessons to be learned here,” she says, “perhaps most importantly that one should spray one’s corpses prior to placing them in the ladies’ room.”

related: When you can’t blame the dog

Meanwhile, John in Sudbury, Mass. spotted this humble plea outside the local Catholic church.

related: so much for turning the other cheek

Adds Jaina: “Please note that the entry was posted at 11:45 p.m. on a Friday. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about the state of his love life.”

Meanwhile, when a passive-aggressive blog posting starts to seem like a relatively direct method of communication, you know things aren’t going to end well.

related: Who would’ve thought? It figures

The kicker? According to the employees, says Keith, “After the note was posted, the guy spitefully mixed the selection buttons up even worse.”

(Altogether now: “that Gatorade is…”)

related: fucking delicious

Exhibit b) From Minneapolis: the conditional approach

Exhibit c) From Hartford, Connecticut: the ALL for one and one for ALL approach

Exhibit d) From Dallas: the federal government’s approach

(Thanks to Erik and Kim for their submissions.)

Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”

And from Jason in New Haven:

(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)

If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.