PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » crazypants

Caught in the act

Kerry — Tue, 24 May 2011 01:47:23 +0000

This bulletin board display from Louisville, Kentucky comes to us via Annie in Colorado, who adds: “I can’t help but feel sorry for the poor dogs caught popping a squat!” (Don’t worry, Annie. As you can see, I’ve taken steps to protect the identities of the canines pictured.)

Maybe it’s the classic crazypants handwriting, but I when I try to envision the creator of this display, the first image that comes to mind is one of those cop-show scenes where they bust in and find a room obsessively wallpapered with photos and maps and newspaper clippings documenting some big (or in this case, not so big) conspiracy theory.

But who knows? Maybe this guy is starting a new fetish mag and just wants to track down these dogs to pay their modeling fees or…something.

related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica

Your not narmal, Sneeky

Kerry — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 03:06:56 +0000

Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.

So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)

The Stupidbomber Manifesto

Kerry — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 02:25:24 +0000

After Adam’s car got broken into while parked in his own driveway, he decided to install a motion-activated security light. Several months later, he received this note in the mail — stamped and all — from one of his (kinda totally creepy) Connecticut neighbors. Adam, perhaps it’s time to take the home security system up a notch?

stupid stupid s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stupid." src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5020/5563237184_27a096f6b7.jpg" alt="Lights on all night is stupid stupid stupid. 100/00 --> stupid stupid s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-stupid." width="500" height="257" />

related: Stupid is as stuiped does

And heaven forbid a man even imagine cleaning a toilet himself…

Kerry — Sat, 13 Nov 2010 22:00:18 +0000

Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)

The neighborhood warning wagon

Kerry — Tue, 28 Sep 2010 22:33:07 +0000

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

related: Passive voice abuse

“Testosterone-fueled wackjobs make the darndest threats!”

Kerry — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 04:03:54 +0000

For the folks who found yesterday’s “do not come in” post a bit too “kids say the darndest things” precious, I figured I’d better even things out with a look at what happens when those neglected jealous siblings grow up…and get armed.

Exhibit A, spotted by Heather at a gas station in Gastonia, North Carolina

Exhibit B, which Steve found pinned to a tree in Athens, Ohio (where, while visiting friends, he stumbled upon the property of the local necrophiliac farmer)

And lastly, Exhibit C, spotted by Dex outside a “fairly dilapidated” house in Raleigh, North Carolina

related: The right to bear fruit

But…the economy sucks back home

Kerry — Sun, 30 May 2010 21:23:29 +0000

“The other morning,” says our submitter from Los Angeles, “my boyfriend found this typed (on an honest to goodness typewriter!) note left for him on his windshield.” (Another car on the block with out-of-state plates had a similar message.)

“We’re not sure if the WeHo suggestion was meant to be homophobic or to imply we should be hanging out with our pals Heidi and Spencer at Hyde. Since we are neither gay nor from the cast of the Hills, it’s hard to say.”

There are crazy people out there, you know

Kerry — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 11:00:58 +0000

“We custom-ordered some stamps with our youngest daughter’s face on it to mail birthday party invitations,” writes Pablo in Virginia. “There were extras, so we used them to pay some bills.” Apparently, one of those envelope recipients found this small act of thrift somewhat less than adorable.

Adds Pablo: “The creepy part? This note was deposited in our mailbox anonymously, making us think the real crazy person is the author.”

Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

Kerry — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 01:50:21 +0000

“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).

I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room. In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”

related: sheena is a paintballer

On jamming

Kerry — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 16:01:42 +0000

This note is so goddamn beautiful that if I just saw this floating around on Digg or something, I’d probably assume it was fake. And yet, Marta in Vancouver swears it’s for real.

She explains: “The guy who lives in one of the basement suites in our house left this on our front door after we stomped on the floor when he was blasting “Hotel California” at 11 p.m.” Oh, and just so you get a clear picture in your head, Marta says: “This is a guy who hangs out in the backyard with a katana wearing full-on samurai robes.”

Adds Marta: “Never have any of the people in the basement complained about us ‘running down the stairs.’ In fact, they’ve all told us they can never hear us. Sorry for walking, guy, we’ll try to levitate from now on.”

related: Oxford drama

Neighborhood crazy-watch

Kerry — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 01:20:08 +0000

Our anonymous submitter in Quebec says this note is posted on the door of an apartment in her building. “Looks like somebody had a rough breakup,” she speculates…in which case I think dude is probably better off.

Still, I think the ambiguity here presents a wealth of other possible scenarios, no?

related: and all the pieces matter

To have and to hold

Kerry — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 23:09:39 +0000

To be honest, I find this note — from an anonymous submitter in Raleigh, N.C.. — to be kind of depressing. So let me just say this: if you’ve recently broken up with a significant other and have been thinking, “Hmm, maybe a heartfelt note is the way to win him/her back!” — JUST. SAY. NO.

Anyway, our submitter writes: “When my husband unpacked his belongings from his ex-wife’s house, he kept finding little ‘surprises.’ For example, although they did not go to high school together, she had signed his senior yearbook, and little notes and reproductions of wedding pictures were stuck in books and in pockets of his clothes. Our favorite was this note we found in his camera case.”

(Yes, yes, it looks like “to have anal to hold.”)

related: some dating advice

You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile

Kerry — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 21:34:47 +0000

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This girl invited every single one of her friends on Facebook into a ‘forum’ to plan for her birthday celebrations…six months in advance.”

The kicker? within a few hours, our submitter says, almost everyone had already RSVP’d.

Sigh-ned

Kerry — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 01:00:59 +0000

Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

related: Especially Deborah