Entries Tagged as 'crazypants'

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

April 10th, 2008 · 154 Comments

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”

God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall of fame. (Prize: a year’s worth of anger-management therapy?)

You don't know me...and to be honest I don't think you want to...but there is an issue that I need to address with you...and I'm not gonna be passive-aggressie about it. It has come to my attention that you have taken the white board that I gave Emily!!! And that angers me!!! I am not a child and I don't play childish games so let me put this as simply as I can...don't take shit that doesn't belong to you!!! I am writing this to you telling you to give Emily her shit back before I have to take matters into my own hands and get people involved that don't need to be in this...The next step in this little game is to go to our housing authority and I don't think you really want them to know about your skeeze-ball boyfriend living with you...or having to deal with the penalties and fines that come along with your ignorant acts! So stop being a cunt and give us the board back immediately. Thanks :) Your Secret Admirer

related: Which one of these is not like the other?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2008 · not-so-veiled threats · oh the irony · rainbow-colored · roommates · smiley · stealing · whiteboard

You can do it. We can’t help.

February 25th, 2008 · 91 Comments

Julie spotted this amazing note on New York’s Lower East Side…

I WANT MY MONEY I WILL POST SIGNS ALL OVER HOME DEPOT IF I DON'T GET IT BY TODAY

(Dude, how ominous are those ellipses?)

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)

Tags: crazypants · money · not-so-veiled threats · Say wha?

Over and Over – The Warning (Passive-aggressive Remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 156 Comments

Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.

I'm tired of it  no more smoking for no one not at all but me and my room is no smoking room or using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes at no more my room is my room and no one else's room so don't demand me what to do in my room either Janice

(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)

related: Be informed, Homeland Security will be

Tags: crazypants · Milwaukee · pure poetry · Say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?

Wrath mat

October 10th, 2007 · 163 Comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in New York City: “So, my mom bought me this doormat that says ‘leave.’ You know, haha, funny joke, like the ones that say ‘go away.’ Well, apparently my neighbor didn’t find it too humorous.”

New occupants of Apt. 3C. Your incredibly bad taste, and warped mentality, are not welcome in our mutually shared space.

Adds our submitter: “Some back story: the woman has lived in the apartment across the hall for 40 years and collects cats and garbage, according to the super.”

related: Really, enough with the weather

Tags: a matter of taste · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · etiquette · kids today · more aggressive than passive · neighbors · New York

…and pull up your pants!

July 23rd, 2007 · 97 Comments

Bill snapped this photo at a liquor store in middle-of-nowhere Tennessee, 40 miles east of Memphis. Like this one and this one, it’s more crazy than passive-aggressive — but too good to pass up.

and pull up your pants

Adds Bill: “From what the friend I was visiting told me, the store aired religious TV every hour it was open.  Except on Sundays, that is… because that’s when they turned on NASCAR. IT also had the widest array of bum wines (MD 20/20, Wild Irish Rose, etc.) that I have ever seen.”

Tags: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · crazypants · more aggressive than passive · Tennessee

Gentrification is insanit(ar)y

May 28th, 2007 · 21 Comments

This sign (spotted by Seamus in Noe Valley, San Fran) is sort of a West-Coast version of this, no?

Liberal loonies take notice. Please do not spit on my windows because your liberal looney views are different than mine. It is not the American way, also it is insanitary [sic] to spread your radical germs in Looney Valley.

Tags: California · crazypants · excessive underlining · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · politics · San Francisco · spitting

Some legionnaire’s idea of epigrammatic wit

May 21st, 2007 · 10 Comments

I realize this example (from outside the American Legion HQ in Park Slope, Brooklyn) is not so much “passive-aggressive” as it is “crazy,” but it tickles me too much not to post. The little species/feces couplet has been painted over and re-written at least twice, so obviously I’m not the only one who appreciated it.

CONDEMNED NO LITTERING. Dump no garbage here. Join the human species - don't dump - even feces!

DO NOT LITTER. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You can’t tell from these photos, but this little storefront stands as one of the few bastions on Fifth Avenue that the armies of invading gentrifiers couldn’t take down with their industrial-size nozzles of mrs. meyer’s and turn into a precious little bakery selling organic dog cupcakes. While I was taking these photos a man in a lawn chair was either yelling at me to stop or trying to sell me a ratty old suitcase.

Tags: Brooklyn · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · more aggressive than passive · Park Slope · shit