…it just takes a true frenemy to actually say it.
![Man... You're *always* whining about how busy you are... Seriously, it's like *every* status update I see with your name on it is like *ehhh [redacted] is so busy blahaaeeehh* or something...We're all fucking busy man.](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3026/2871559937_3c289d9120_o.jpg "Man... You're *always* whining about how busy you are... Seriously, it's like *every* status update I see with your name on it is like *ehhh [redacted] is so busy blahaaeeehh* or something...We're all fucking busy man.")
related: Busy, but not too busy for the important things in life…like Farmville.
Entries Tagged as 'cry me a freaking river'
What your Facebook “friends” are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates
December 18th, 2010 · 91 Comments
Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · frenemies · most popular notes of 2010 · Sydney
It’s my pity party, and I’ll whine if I want to
July 25th, 2010 · 62 Comments
If I had to choose the one thing I hate most about Facebook, I think it would have to be how it’s normalized the narcissistic idea that the day you were born (and increasingly the entire week/month leading up to it) is somehow an annual event of earth-shattering importance…and (part two), how it has turned into a venue for people who share that idea to host their own pity parties, like so:
Of course, some of those people prefer the prematurely pissy approach — this message, for example, was apparently posted at 10:50 the day before her birthday:
![[redacted] is wondering who would show up to my funeral because obviously my wedding and birthday aren't important enough. Thanks to those who do care though.](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4122/4743666039_93b36f01b7.jpg "[redacted] is wondering who would show up to my funeral because obviously my wedding and birthday aren't important enough. Thanks to those who do care though.")
But on Facebook, the “proactively setting the bar low” approach (as opposed to proactively setting the bar high) might yield better results…that is, if your friends still pity you enough to put with your juvenile bullshit.
![Because you can't be there, or because you don't care to be, when [redacted] turns another year older. Because it's easier than spending time with her, and you feel less guilty than RSVPing](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4019/4544849649_e1dd421eb7.jpg "Because you can't be there, or because you don't care to be, when [redacted] turns another year older. Because it's easier than spending time with her, and you feel less guilty than RSVPing \"maybe\" to some form of celebration knowing you're unlikely to show up, and it's easier for her not to have to organise that. Because we have no contact other than via Facebook. Because you're busy, you've got kids, you've got a life, you've got lime [sic] disease.")
related: “I received 25 bday wishes out of 473 Facebook friends.”
Tags: birthday · cry me a freaking river · Facebook · grow up · guilt trip · martyr complex
Because a true friend would never turn down an opportunity to play stupid games and buy you expensive crap
April 11th, 2010 · 122 Comments
…especially when the invitation is extended via your Facebook wall to everyone you know.
![so I had my baby shower last weekend and I have to say Im fairly disapointed [sic] in all the people that not only didnt show up but didnt even call so thanks everyone!!!!!!](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3247/4602909986_b0bff97468.jpg "so I had my baby shower last weekend and I have to say Im fairly disapointed [sic] in all the people that not only didnt show up but didnt even call so thanks everyone!!!!!!")
Or (oopsies!) almost everyone you know.
related: Your Facebook friends…just not that into you.
extra credit: STFU, Parents
Tags: cry me a freaking river · frenemies · it's my party · kids · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · Oops? · preggers
Old habits die…with a pout.
March 19th, 2010 · 187 Comments
“I found this note on my car after two days of parking in a certain (unmarked) spot on the street bordering my school,” says Shane in North Dakota. “Tomorrow, I’m so parking there.”
related: Can you dig it?
Tags: cry me a freaking river · parking
A bitter pill to swallow
December 17th, 2009 · 123 Comments
“To the best of our knowledge,” writes our submitter from Raleigh, North Carolina, “the bottle in question is one of those $0.79 plastic Deer Park water bottles.” You know, the special kind carried in just about every gas station, 7-11, and grocery store in the state.
Moral of the story? Just another example of how taking it upon yourself to clean out the ol’ office fridge can OMG KILL PEOPLE.
related: your BBQ = 9/11
Tags: cry me a freaking river · guilt trip · North Carolina · office fridge
Ever wonder why Facebook doesn’t come with a “dislike” button?
November 16th, 2009 · 172 Comments
Maybe ’cause it would only draw more attention to douche-canoes like these.
related: facebook: a place for navel-gazing narcissists
extra credit: how to add a dislike button to facebook [lifehacker]
Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook
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