PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » “customer service”

Nobody does a “polite notice” quite like the Brits

Kerry — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 02:38:17 +0000

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

Not one for small talk, eh?

Kerry — Wed, 07 Sep 2011 18:00:17 +0000

Spotted by Helen in the window of a shop in Haworth, West Yorkshire.

(It was closed.)

(Not that we’re bitter or anything.)

Kerry — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:41:03 +0000

Our submitter spotted this cheery notice during the “Going out Business” sale at a Blockbuster Video in Colorado. (Bankruptcy will do that you, I guess.)

extra credit: Blockbuster goes bankrupt, Netflix shares soar

extra extra credit: “Borders: No Restrooms. Try Amazon.“

It’s like an entire episode of Seinfeld on one door

Kerry — Sun, 15 May 2011 22:00:05 +0000

From the NON-public restroom inside a deli in Bishop, California:

Cough, cough, ahem…hello?

Kerry — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 03:16:02 +0000

Patrick in Lexington, Kentucky recently had the pleasure of taking a luxurious Greyhound bus, and was amused to see this note affixed to the bus station ticket counter.

“I assume it was in response to someone trying to get the desk clerk’s attention,” says Patrick, “but the idea of some poor throat-clearing sap getting thrown out because of his head cold really tickled me.”

Adds Patrick: “You have no idea how difficult it was to surreptitiously take this picture — the angry desk clerk nearly caught me twice.”

related: Counter Attack

Dear Bad Mood Customer

Kerry — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 01:32:12 +0000

“The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

related: Service with a snarl

Bed, breakfast & backhanded compliments

Kerry — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 01:17:09 +0000

At a B&B by the Norfolk coast, our submitter Liz was amused by this (possibly serious, possibly not?) guestbook comment — one I hope the proprietors are able work into their next ex-con advertising campaign.

Meanwhile, Amie and Tim spotted this guestbook note while checking out from their hotel in Iceland. “We don’t know who Linda is or what she did, but…wow.” (Perhaps she could seek some support from Except Graham or Especially Deborah?)

If you’ve ever suspected the tech support staff of acting a little bit passive-aggressive…

Kerry — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 00:06:57 +0000

…well, you’re probably right. (Small acts of passive-aggression are just one of the many coping strategies IT workers employ in order to maintain their own sanity while forced to deal with incredibly, outrageously, mind-bogglingly stupid people like you.)

But if you think you’re being patronized when the Help Desk operator asks you to make sure your power cord is plugged in…well, you’re probably not. (Because — like the 10 other people who called before you complaining “My computer won’t turn on!” — your power cord probably isn’t plugged in.)

Just ask our submitter Jessica, who works the IT Help Desk at a college in Portland, Oregon. Jessica calls this chart, created by fellow help-desker, “a very accurate visual representation of a typical day at work.”

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

Thanks for making me risk MY life to feed YOUR addiction!

Kerry — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 04:00:57 +0000

Writes Justin in Salem, Massachusetts: “It was the middle of the recent blizzard and we had gone for a drive in the worst of the weather (because that’s what you do for fun when you drive a Jeep) and decided to stop for a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts” (because that’s what you do for fun if you’re a New Englander).

Upon arrival, Justin and his companion were greeted with this heartfelt note of congratulations from the Dunkin’ Donuts snowstorm staff (Rick).

The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Rules

Kerry — Sun, 05 Dec 2010 23:29:06 +0000

Our submitter spotted this amazing stream-of-consciousness manifesto inside a small tea shop in Hertfordshire, U.K. “I especially like the lack of punctuation, constantly shifting tone, and preachy generalizations,” she says. “Apparently it’s not enough to simply request that customers wipe their feet or use a trash can — it’s necessary to subject them to a generational guilt trip as well.”

What, you were expecting a “How can I help you?”

Kerry — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 02:02:35 +0000

Brian in Boston spotted this aggressively service-y sign at a sandwich shop counter. Says Brian: “The girl working seemed to think that putting this up would be more effective than actually being polite and attentive.” (Further musings re: her state of mind were stymied by a “Whadda YOU lookin’ at??” glare.)

related: Service with a snarl

That must be some damn good coffee…

Kerry — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 04:10:03 +0000

“I was walking by a local café and this two-page, handwritten rant stopped me in my tracks,” says our submitter in Montreal. “I was so disturbed I went home and returned immediately with my camera, just in case the owner suddenly got sane (or had some sense talked into him) and decided to take it down. This is someone who should clearly not be dealing with the public.”

related: The Sushi Nazi

Don’t you want to LIVE?

Kerry — Tue, 14 Sep 2010 02:04:44 +0000

These two notes — both from Oregon — give me the urge to grab a gigantic fistful of napkins…and then noisily blow my nose with them. I mean, really. Wouldn’t a simple “Al Gore Knows” have sufficed?

(Thanks to Anonymous in Wilsonville and Brad in Albany for submitting!)

Service with a snarl

Kerry — Tue, 24 Aug 2010 01:50:58 +0000

Fact: Working in a customer service position that necessitates long-term exposure to one’s fellow humans carries a significant risk of developing acute, potentially incurable, misanthropy. And if you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere, treatment is especially hard to find.

Exhibit a) From a roadside store in “the armpit of California” (as witnessed on separate occasions by both Dirk and Danielle)

Exhibit b) From a NON-fast food restaurant in the backwaters of Louisiana

Exhibit c) From a diner in a speck of a town called Endicott, Nebraska. (Adds submitter Jill: “They also have a stuffed two-headed calf!”)