Entries Tagged as '“customer service”'

Dude, it’s like, what does “open” even mean?

July 9th, 2012 · 52 Comments

An anonymous submitter discovered this lengthy explanation on the door of a head shop in Waldorf, Maryland.

We open most days about 9am or 10am. Occasionally as early as 8am, but on days like Sunday, as late as 11am.  We close about 9:30pm or 10pm, but sometimes as early as 7pm on Sundays, give or take an hour. Sometimes we close as late as 11pm or 11:30pm-like Saturdays.  Some days or afternoons we aren't hear at all, but lately we have been here just about all the time---except when we are someplace else, but we should be here too! We suggest you try the door, and if it is open, then so are we.

Not surprisingly, it appears the head shop’s owners take a fairly relaxed attitude toward keeping their store open, and instead put heavy emphasis on maintaining a flexible work-life balance.

related: Before you ask…

Tags: "customer service" · drugs · Maryland · opening/closing

Welcome to the Jersey Shore

July 2nd, 2012 · 44 Comments

Molly said this ice cream shop on the Jersey Shore was filled with signs of the “You’re in New Jersey, bitch” variety, but this one was perhaps the most obnoxious of them all.

“As it turns out,” Molly says, “my imagination didn’t quite capture the essence of the Mocha Chocolate Crunch that I ordered. If I’d had a sample, I would have realized the nuttiness was just too much for my delicate palate.”

We do not offer sampling. However, if you do need to try something, we suggest you try imagining what that particular flavor would taste like.

related: It’s not food, it’s ice cream!

Tags: "customer service" · ice cream · New Jersey · tourists

Nobody does a “polite notice” quite like the Brits

September 20th, 2011 · 38 Comments

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

We walk our dogs in Stanmer Park/We go to the cafe where they sit and bark/We put out water, sell doggy biscuits at the till/We provide a lead so they sit still/So when we are busy at the till and doggy water needs a fill, please give us a thought, please don't moan/Just collect your dog and take him home/Next time when doggy wants to roam bring some water and don't moan/we are here to do a job, and it's up to you to care for your dog

related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle

Tags: "customer service" · "polite notice" · dogs · don't blame us · martyr complex · pure poetry · restaurant · U.K.

Not one for small talk, eh?

September 7th, 2011 · 33 Comments

Spotted by Helen in the window of a shop in Haworth, West Yorkshire.

(It was closed.)

BEFORE YOU ASK: YES, A LOT OF SHOPS ARE CLOSED. NO, I DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY'LL BE OPEN. NO, I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'LL BE OPEN. IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN THIS SHOP WILL BE OPEN. YES, THE WEATHER IS POOR/BEAUTIFUL/CRAP. NO, WE DON'T SELL NEWSPAPERS.

related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Tags: "customer service" · let me stop you right there · retail hell · small talk · U.K.

(Not that we’re bitter or anything.)

June 12th, 2011 · 63 Comments

Our submitter spotted this cheery notice during the “Going out Business” sale at a Blockbuster Video in Colorado. (Bankruptcy will do that you, I guess.)

Out of order...why don't you try NETFLIX for a restroom :) STAFF

related: Thanks for not shopping here — we’re closed FOREVER!

extra credit: Blockbuster goes bankrupt, Netflix shares soar

extra extra credit: “Borders: No Restrooms. Try Amazon.

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · smiley

It’s like an entire episode of Seinfeld on one door

May 15th, 2011 · 61 Comments

From the NON-public restroom inside a deli in Bishop, California:

Wow! This place is awesome! The food is great! That is what you should be saying if you bought something. But instead you're starting to feel guilty about free loading on our rest room. Maybe the

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · California · etiquette · guilt trip · restaurant

Cough, cough, ahem…hello?

April 1st, 2011 · 127 Comments

Patrick in Lexington, Kentucky recently had the pleasure of taking a luxurious Greyhound bus, and was amused to see this note affixed to the bus station ticket counter.

“I assume it was in response to someone trying to get the desk clerk’s attention,” says Patrick, “but the idea of some poor throat-clearing sap getting thrown out because of his head cold really tickled me.”

Dont knock, yell, or clear throat over my counter or ill ignore you — NO Service —

Adds Patrick: “You have no idea how difficult it was to surreptitiously take this picture — the angry desk clerk nearly caught me twice.”

related: Counter Attack

Tags: "customer service" · Kentucky · Lexington

Dear Bad Mood Customer

February 2nd, 2011 · 52 Comments

“The Lakeview area doesn’t have the most convenient post office locations, so many people just stop in at this shipping center,” says Zach in Chicago. “This sign is well known in the neighborhood.” (Indeed, I’ve gotten photos of it from at least five different submitters.)

“The lady who served me seemed nice,” says Leigh, “but I guess people aren’t so nice to her.” Meanwhile, Casey, another submitter, says: “the little lady actually picks fights with customers! She charged me astronomical prices for shipping books and when I asked her about it, she started yelling at me.” I guess that’s the convenience charge?

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

Dear Bad Mood Customer if you don't like our price just go other place for your business. Don't make our day not peaceful by only less than $1.00 more and your dirty words. Life is so short to be ? by your too little. Thank you.

related: Service with a snarl

Tags: "customer service" · actually totally reasonable · CAPS LOCK · Chicago · Clearly a non-native English speaker · high on highlighter

Bed, breakfast & backhanded compliments

January 27th, 2011 · 41 Comments

At a B&B by the Norfolk coast, our submitter Liz was amused by this (possibly serious, possibly not?) guestbook comment — one I hope the proprietors are able work into their next ex-con advertising campaign.

Meanwhile, Amie and Tim spotted this guestbook note while checking out from their hotel in Iceland. “We don’t know who Linda is or what she did, but…wow.” (Perhaps she could seek some support from Except Graham or Especially Deborah?)

Except for Linda everyone was terribly nice and helpful!

related: But you’re too nice not to be a Christian!

Tags: "customer service" · backhanded compliment · food

If you’ve ever suspected the tech support staff of acting a little bit passive-aggressive…

January 24th, 2011 · 126 Comments

…well, you’re probably right. (Small acts of passive-aggression are just one of the many coping strategies IT workers employ in order to maintain their own sanity while forced to deal with incredibly, outrageously, mind-bogglingly stupid people like you.)

But if you think you’re being patronized when the Help Desk operator asks you to make sure your power cord is plugged in…well, you’re probably not. (Because — like the 10 other people who called before you complaining “My computer won’t turn on!” — your power cord probably isn’t plugged in.)

Just ask our submitter Jessica, who works the IT Help Desk at a college in Portland, Oregon. Jessica calls this chart,  created by fellow help-desker, “a very accurate visual representation of a typical day at work.”

The IT Help Desk Wheel of Responses: That sounds like a hardware problem. No, it's gone forever. OK, let me Google that for you. Have you tried restarting your computer? Is the cord plugged in? Have you tried changing your password? Yes, click OK. It's a scam, just delete it.

related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts

Tags: "customer service" · most popular notes of 2011 · Portland