Entries Tagged as '“customer service”'

Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.

April 25th, 2008 · 117 Comments

Heather says this pizzeria in Victoria, B.C. has been confounding customers with its customer service “policy” for as long as she can remember. (Which I guess means…it’s working?)

Our customers are very important to us - as important as water is to life. Please remember that nobody likes bad water.

related: ps bacon is life

Tags: "customer service" · Canada · mixed metaphors · pizza · restaurant

…and the even higher risk of your ass growing too large for you to safely dislodge your head

April 7th, 2008 · 55 Comments

Originally unearthed from outside the hallowed Conde Nast cafeteria in July 2001, this digital-age relic provides a quaint look back at those halcyon days among the New York media elite — back when Gawker was still just a glint in Nick Denton’s eye, young Anna Wintour acolytes were still stuck in the induction phase of the Atkins diet, and print media still seemed to maybe, sort-of matter!

It’s hard to say which seems more charming about this exchange: the amazingly un-snarky response of the cafeteria staff? Or the fact that someone would deign to eat mayonnaise at 4 Times Square?

We have eggs; we have mayo; Why then NO EGG SALAD? Please don't force me to contact The Post's PAGE SIX!!

related: like a rotten sponge

Tags: "customer service" · "too inside fucking baseball" · excessive underlining · food · New York · not-so-veiled threats · office

Help yourself

March 24th, 2008 · 43 Comments

Spotted by doppelfrog at London’s Paddington station…

help yourself

related: Water, water everywhere

Tags: "customer service" · London · rhetorical question · warning · water · whiteboard

“If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”

November 21st, 2007 · 117 Comments

Reading in the bathroom is one thing…but kicking back with a purloined Snapple? Tbat’s one step too far for this food service establishment, as spotted by Jenny in Washington, D.C.

*Attention Customers* Recently we have experienced customers stealing drinks and consuming them in our bathroom. We kindly ask that you stop this as we do not tolerate stealers in our store. If this continues to proceed, right course of action will be taken to stop this violation immediately. Thank you.

You gotta love that passive voice! Any kindly guesses re: the crossed-out word?

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · high on highlighter · not-so-veiled threats · passive voice · restaurant · stealing

The “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry

October 31st, 2007 · 215 Comments

My former roommate Eric inspired this roundup (and an overly dramatic round of gagging/hair-pulling/eye-gouging on my part) by passing along a photo of this sign spotted on Marco Island, Florida — though it could have been anywhere on Main Street, USA. (Note the small print at top, which reads: “Signs sold in our gift shop.”)

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

I think the only thing that could make this sign more irritating would be if it said — shudder — “expresso.” This sign must be stopped!

Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a free puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a puppy

We love kids, but please keep yours at your table! Unattended children will be given a shot of espresso and a free puppy. Thanks

Wandering children will be given a double espresso and a free puppy to take home! Thank you!

Children Left Unattended Will Be Given An Espresso And A Puppy

Unattended Children Will Be Given An Espresso And A Free Puppy

Children left unattended will be given an espresso and a Free Puppy

Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy

related: Unattended children will be shot

Tags: "customer service" · Florida · kids

…and pull up your pants!

July 23rd, 2007 · 97 Comments

Bill snapped this photo at a liquor store in middle-of-nowhere Tennessee, 40 miles east of Memphis. Like this one and this one, it’s more crazy than passive-aggressive — but too good to pass up.

and pull up your pants

Adds Bill: “From what the friend I was visiting told me, the store aired religious TV every hour it was open.  Except on Sundays, that is… because that’s when they turned on NASCAR. IT also had the widest array of bum wines (MD 20/20, Wild Irish Rose, etc.) that I have ever seen.”

Tags: "customer service" · blitzkrieg approach · crazypants · more aggressive than passive · Tennessee

Only one or two

May 19th, 2007 · 4 Comments

Spotted by Eric at Uncle Moe’s in Manhattan.

Take a Penny Give a Penny ONLY ONE OR TWO

related: The penny is the most passive-aggressive coin

Tags: "customer service" · New York