Entries Tagged as 'Deutsche'

Well, that’s terrifying.

March 6th, 2012 · 35 Comments

Though this may look like the the bloody rantings of a serial killer, Tino in Stuttgart, Germany says this was simply his flatmate’s way of stating his displeasure at the ongoing lack of parity in toilet-paper purchasing.

(Tino’s rough translation: YOU ASSES[,] BUY SOME TOILET PAPER.)

IHR ÄRSCHE KAUFT KLOPAPIER

And my favorite part…

IHR ÄRSCHE KAUFT KLOPAPIER

related: Comrades, take notice!

Tags: Deutsche · Germany · heart · roommates · toilet paper

Daddy, why are all the cages empty?

July 15th, 2010 · 122 Comments

You’re a zookeeper. You’re sick of answering the same damn question all day long. How do you handle it?

Well, there’s the PC approach…

Our octopus has completed its life cycle. A new octopus will be here soon.

The pedantic approach…

Writes Sarah in Los Angeles:

And then there’s my personal favorite, the German approach.

Why did you feed me to death? Feeding our animals is forbidden! In remembrance of our Pony

(Thanks to Gina in Cincinnati, Sarah in Los Angeles, and Andrea in Berlin for their submissions!)

related: Don’t die; it’s expensive

Tags: animal welfare · Berlin · Deutsche · Kentucky · most popular notes of 2010 · New Jersey

Wie bitte(r)?

June 19th, 2008 · 98 Comments

As our submitter Peter points out, the residents of Berlin — with their trademark Berliner schnauze — are not known for mincing words. But this sign, found at a coffee shop of sorts in the U-bahn station Kottbusser Tor, takes that characteristic Berliner directness one step further.

Peter’s rough translation: “Anyone who doesn’t buy anything PLEASE leave the store!!! Thanks.” (That’s at least one request we haven’t seen at a Starbucks…yet.)

WER NICHTS KAUFT VERLABT Bitte DEN LADEN!! DANKE

related: Danke!!! [for the sarcasm]

Tags: "customer service" · Berlin · Deutsche · more aggressive than passive

Perverse and often baffling

May 6th, 2008 · 120 Comments

Which clip art catastrophe raises the most new and troubling questions in your mind?

Is it exhibit a, from New York’s West Village?

Please please please...no dogs

(Think about the designer’s thought process here for a moment. Why the sunglasses? And not just any shades…but electric blue? Ditto, the sunflower.)

Exhibit b, From a casino in Cambodia?

(Does no crossed out mean…yes?)

Or exhibit c, from a pharmacy in Berlin?
Vitamine sind jetzt wichtig!

(Trust me: speaking German is no help here.)

If you can’t decide, remember that your first instinct is usually the best choice (um, except when it’s not).

related: clip art crimes

Tags: Berlin · Cambodia · clip art catastrophe · Deutsche · dogs · New York · you be the judge

The Holy See of the W.C.

January 6th, 2008 · 94 Comments

Octavio in Munich says that his landlord (who shares the same apartment) is a regular high priest of paternalistic little — the entire flat is covered with them. On the bathroom wall, for example, this glorious collage is what stares back at those seated on the throne. (Altogether now: “holy shiße!”)

going OUT?... must turn the light OFFFF!!!  so, then... byeeeee!...  please!!! use the toilet brush!!!
going OUT?…
must turn the light OFFFF!!!

so, then…
byeeeee!…

please!!!
use the toilet brush!!!

.

Tags: bathroom · Deutsche · landlords and property managers · lighting · Munich · toilet · turning on/off

Danke [for the sarcasm]!!!

June 4th, 2007 · 42 Comments

Tim found this note in the basement storeroom of an apartment building in Kiel, Germany:

danke.jpg

Tim’s rough translation:

THANKS for filling [up the storeroom]!!!
I was able to get to the meter just SUPER!!!
tenant 5/1 [fifth floor, first apartment]

[hand written at the bottom] Many thanks from me too, tenant 5/2

Tags: Deutsche · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors