Our submitter says this isn’t the first time her father has put up this display in his front yard…proving, I guess that some people will go through a lot of shit just to make a point. (Meanwhile, the neighborhood dogs and dog owners continue to go about their business.)

related: Lost & Found

Two simple rules for using the garbage chute:

DO put your dog poo down the chute.

DON’T put your dog, Pooh, down the chute.

(Thanks to Jason in Ottawa and Catherine in D.C. for submitting!)

related: Garbage chute entitlement

Jane in Boston says this note appeared on Tomio’s bedroom door, at cat’s-eye level. “Given that I’m pretty sure cats can’t read, it’s the ultimate passive-aggressive sentiment,” Jane says, “but a cat shitting on your bed is pretty passive aggressive, too. What a tangled web we weave.”

Meanwhile, a submitter in Cornwall, England spotted this note (again, at pet’s-eye level) on the front door of a house. “It was unclear what the dog had done, how the notewriter expected the dog to read this, or how ‘Diane’ was filming the dog,” our submitter says. “There was no sign of a camera.”

And yet, it’s this commandment —posted by a neighbor of Marissa in San Francisco — that tickles me the most.

UPDATE: A bonus note (via Anthonio in Seattle), from…Dirt.

related: Excuse me, sir? I think you’ve dropped something.

Although she’s embarrassed to admit it now, Kristi in Portland confesses that when she wrote this letter, at age 14, she felt oh-so-very-grown-up.

In retrospect, she says, the most ridiculous part — besides the charmingly pretentious tone throughout — is probably the self-made letterhead. “I guess I thought the frog made for a good personal logo or something,” Kristi says. ”To my credit, I didn’t send the letter anonymously…I included my full name (first, middle and last), my address, my phone number AND my e-mail address. I only left off my Social Security number!”

Adds Kristi: “My parents still live next door to these neighbors, and I avoid them to this day! Oh, and yes, they did try to keep their dogs indoors more after I sent the letter.”

related: Your to lazy

“If you want respect,” barked the Daddy tree, “you gotta earn it. Show ‘some freakin’ acorns!”

“But Daaaaaaad,” whined the trembling young sapling. “I just…I just want to be beautiful!”

“What is this, a goddamn Shel Silverstein book? Quit your birching already.”

(As witnessed by Kevin in Arcata, California, and (below) by Taber in Richmond, Virginia.)

But as Michael in Seattle observed, at least one of those sad little trees wasn’t about to let his bully of a father have the last word.

related: The right to bear fruit

Our anonymous submitter saw this notice up in Canada’s Yukon territory. “I always knew that dogs were a very important in the life of the Yukoners,” she says, by way of explanation…an explanation that, frustratingly, explains next to nothing about these people or their “visitors.”

Also, re: points #4 & 6 — my dog isn’t very good at coming when called, but he happens to love hanging out with “drug-using people.” (Lots of Cheetos crumbs and whatnot to lick off the floor.)

related: Your are welcome

When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors.

(Thanks to submitters Paul in St. Paul, Stirling in Salt Lake City, Arcadiy in Seattle, Denise in Rochester, Sara in Berkeley, Liz in Austin, Breanne in Oklahoma City, and Payal in Pleasanton, California…all of whom, no doubt, have secured wi-fi networks. Right, guys?)

related: Why-fi

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Writes Jay in Miami Beach: “The woman who lives in Apt. 2, right next to the front door of the building, had such a stinky dog smell emanating from her apartment that you could smell it through the closed door.”

Presumably, she could hear everyone’s complaints through the closed door, too.

related: When you can’t blame the dog