Entries Tagged as 'don’t blame us'

Closed due to impending anarchy

August 10th, 2011 · 44 Comments

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Due to the imminent collapse of society we regret to announce we are closing at 6pm tonight.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

Temporarily out of order. (We live in a fallen world) We will restore order here as soon as possible.

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Tags: Cincinnati · don't blame us · U.K. · WTF?

And this is my fault…how?

April 3rd, 2011 · 77 Comments

Okay, so I’ve gotta give Scott credit here. I know I’m not the only driver who’s had the frustrating experience of returning to your parked car to find some mysterious new dent or scratch with the perpetrator long gone and no note in sight. Or perhaps you’ve been on the other side of things, and justified not leaving a note because the idiot had parked too damn close or in an non-legal parking spot or whatnot.

And yet, says our puzzled submitter, “I was pulled fully into a parking space, well within the white lines, with space on both sides. Why does he try to ‘kind of’ make it my fault?”

(I’m guessing it’s because he’s “kind of” passive-aggressive.)

Sorry! I dinged your car, but you kind of deserved it the way you parked. My # is [redacted]. Call if you have any issues. :)   -Scott

Of course, I’d say that’s still preferable to receiving a note from someone who’s “kind of” a total asshole…

Hi, my name is Jack I accidently [sic] hit your car & someone saw me so I'm pretending to right down my details. SORRY. Jack

related: Your parking job brings one word to mind

Tags: car · don't blame us · most popular notes of 2011 · parking · smiley · Virginia

In case you were wondering why we’re closed

May 10th, 2010 · 75 Comments

…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.

TONITE: SUNDAY 25th BANGBANG BAR IS CLOSED DUE TO FEMALE TEMPERMENT [sic] ISSUES

Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.

Due To Tonyas drug habbit [sic] store will be Closed

…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).

Temporarily closed Due to Shopping Center Mgmt. Refusal To Repair 32 Year Old A/C Unit.

Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)

CLOSED FOREVER DUE TO ASSHOLE ONER [sic]

And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.

Sorry, we are CLOSED due to short staff. (Hire taller staff cause I need a taco!)

So really, why bother with an explanation at all?

Not Sorry

Fuck off we're closed

related: Closed for good! Remember that the cheese loved you more than you loved it.

Tags: "customer service" · bar · don't blame us · drugs · most popular notes of 2010 · Norway · Ohio · raging against the machine · restaurant · retail hell · spelling and grammar police · Texas · Toronto

Thanksgiving Pride & Passive-Aggression

November 25th, 2009 · 106 Comments

Writes Rebecca in Staunton, Virginia:  “My college dining hall is pretty awful. The food isn’t very good and the lines are always incredibly long.  So, when we had our Thanksgiving dinner a couple days ago (one of the few meals where the food is actually good and we can serve ourselves), naturally people got over-excited and took more food than the dining hall expected.  The next day, we found this little ‘apology’ taped over the menu suggestion box and on every single table.”

Thanksgiving Pride & Passive-Aggression

related: don’t blame us

Tags: college life · don't blame us · holiday spirit · non-apology apology · Thanksgiving · Virginia