There’s the New York approach:
And then there’s the Chicago approach:
related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!
Entries Tagged as 'door-slamming'
Shut the front door!
March 7th, 2013 · 57 Comments
Tags: door-slamming · neighbors
Right…that seems like a logical response.
March 13th, 2012 · 49 Comments
Dave in London returned home one day to find all of his clothes missing. Apparently, this was his roommate’s rationale.
related: “Dollar sign flower slams easily”
Tags: door-slamming · London · roommates
The unfinished story of the unhappy door
November 6th, 2011 · 71 Comments
The missing last line of this story: “Unfortunately, it just made people slam the door more loudly out of spite.”
(Upon publication, this story was roundly slammed by reviewers.)
related: “The life of a toilet is much more stressful than people realize”
Tags: anthropomorphism · clip art catastrophe · door-slamming · neighbors · U.K.
And what’s the magic word?
August 4th, 2011 · 27 Comments
From a frat house in Denton, Texas…
to an alley in Sydney, Australia…
![Do not throw rubbish here [fucker!!!] PLEASE](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2281/2096231684_647bcfe5cf.jpg "Do not throw rubbish here [fucker!!!] PLEASE")
back to a dorm room in Richmond, Virginia…
…the notion of “minding your manners” takes a few somewhat compromising turns along the way.
related: Please, body hair is unsanitary (source: webmd.com)
Tags: college life · door-slamming · fratboys · garbage · pleasantries as afterthought · pointlessly self-censored profanity
So this is your NON-vulgar side? Shut the front door!
March 21st, 2011 · 50 Comments
![Hi Jason (and other intermittent door slammers): DO NOT SLAM THE BACK F*****G DOOR. The back room is a thoroughfare but it is also my office (and [redacted]). Sudden loud noises scare the shit out of me and also give me the f*****g shits like you wouldn't believe. Don't do it again or you will get to see a side of me that is extremely vulgar. I've been putting up with it intermittently for the past 2 years and am over it. If you have a problem with my request come and see me so I can give you a piece of my mind.](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5056/5545324669_6bbc352646.jpg "Hi Jason (and other intermittent door slammers): DO NOT SLAM THE BACK F*****G DOOR. The back room is a thoroughfare but it is also my office (and [redacted]). Sudden loud noises scare the shit out of me and also give me the f*****g shits like you wouldn't believe. Don't do it again or you will get to see a side of me that is extremely vulgar. I've been putting up with it intermittently for the past 2 years and am over it. If you have a problem with my request come and see me so I can give you a piece of my mind.")
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · door-slamming · message to all intended for one · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity · shit · TMI · warning
>>Crushing<< is mostly the better term
October 7th, 2010 · 90 Comments
Paul has lived in his apartment in Berlin for 15 months, but this note is the first time he’s heard a single complaint about his door. Especially annoying, Paul says, is the fact that it’s anonymous, “even though it could possibly have been written by only one of two people,” and that it’s written in English, “which most expats would consider an insult.”
Just another example of how — no matter smiley faces you sprinkle throughout — your oh-so-courteous anonymous note is probably just going to leave everyone more “pi**ed off.”
![Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4139/4767057071_7135a658f2.jpg "Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. :-( If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace")
related: Wie bitte(r)?
extra credit: “Greetz” [urbandictionary.com]
Tags: Berlin · Clearly a non-native English speaker · comma diarrhea · door-slamming · neighbors · noise · opening/closing · pointlessly self-censored profanity · sad face · smiley
Completely valid rebuttals
March 30th, 2010 · 103 Comments
More proof that — no matter how in the right you are — writing a note about it makes you kind of an airhose, too. Especially if you’re using Comic Sans.
From Elizabeth at CMU in Pittsburgh:
And from Drake at BYU in Provo, Utah:
related: Please pickup your prints pomptly
extra credit: The man behind Comic Sans [wsj.com]
Tags: college life · Comic Sans Alert · door-slamming · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · Utah
Do these stilettos match my broomstick?
December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments
Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.
“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”
![When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered. [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3461/3246214695_3a43397b86.jpg "When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered. [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents")
Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?
related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire
Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful
All I want is a room somewhere
November 19th, 2007 · 104 Comments
One loverly lady in Illinois found this note on the door of her dorm room after a long day of classes. (The identity of the note-leaver is still a mystery, as is the meaning of the phrase “dollar sign flower slams easily.”)
Adds our submitter: “When we had our next floor meeting, I did the not-so-passive thing of calling out ‘whoever wrote the note,’ saying that we were trying our hardest to keep her ‘lovely.’”
related: We hear you, man
Tags: college life · door-slamming · excessive underlining · heart · Illinois · mean girls · signed with love · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · xoxo
