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Entries Tagged as 'door-slamming'

Shut the front door!

March 7th, 2013 · 57 Comments

There’s the New York approach:

Join the Quiet Club!

And then there’s the Chicago approach:

Door Slammers Anonymous  A support group for people who like to slam the back door.  Don't feel like you are alone in this world.  There are other people just like you, who like to slam the back door.  Meetings are every monday night in the basement at 8:00pm.  Coffee and donuts provided.

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!

Tags: door-slamming · neighbors

Right…that seems like a logical response.

March 13th, 2012 · 49 Comments

Dave in London returned home one day to find all of his clothes missing. Apparently, this was his roommate’s rationale.

When you slam the door I woke up and feel deprived of sleep all night. Therefore I took your clothes. I hope you got the point.

related: “Dollar sign flower slams easily”

Tags: door-slamming · London · roommates

The unfinished story of the unhappy door

November 6th, 2011 · 71 Comments

The missing last line of this story: “Unfortunately, it just made people slam the door more loudly out of spite.”

Once upon a time there was a door that was rather unhappy. Every day people would allow the door to slam very loudly. The door was a very thoughtful door, so it very sad about the people who allow him to slam and cause such a disturbance. One day one person had the idea to leave a subtle note on the door with the hope that this note would tactfully encourage people to stop slamming their f&*king doors. -The end-

(Upon publication, this story was roundly slammed by reviewers.)

related: “The life of a toilet is much more stressful than people realize”

Tags: anthropomorphism · clip art catastrophe · door-slamming · neighbors · U.K.

And what’s the magic word?

August 4th, 2011 · 27 Comments

From a frat house in Denton, Texas…


to an alley in Sydney, Australia…

Do not throw rubbish here [fucker!!!] PLEASE

back to a dorm room in Richmond, Virginia…

Please - DON'T SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR -thanks :)

…the notion of “minding your manners” takes a few somewhat compromising turns along the way.

related: Please, body hair is unsanitary (source:

Tags: college life · door-slamming · fratboys · garbage · pleasantries as afterthought · pointlessly self-censored profanity

So this is your NON-vulgar side? Shut the front door!

March 21st, 2011 · 50 Comments

Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…

Hi Jason (and other intermittent door slammers): DO NOT SLAM THE BACK F*****G DOOR. The back room is a thoroughfare but it is also my office (and [redacted]). Sudden loud noises scare the shit out of me and also give me the f*****g shits like you wouldn't believe. Don't do it again or you will get to see a side of me that is extremely vulgar. I've been putting up with it intermittently for the past 2 years and am over it. If you have a problem with my request come and see me so I can give you a piece of my mind.

related: Dear lovely ladies

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · door-slamming · message to all intended for one · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity · shit · TMI · warning

>>Crushing<< is mostly the better term

October 7th, 2010 · 90 Comments

Paul has lived in his apartment in Berlin for 15 months, but this note is the first time he’s heard a single complaint about his door. Especially annoying, Paul says, is the fact that it’s anonymous, “even though it could possibly have been written by only one of two people,” and that it’s written in English, “which most expats would consider an insult.”

Just another example of how — no matter smiley faces you sprinkle throughout — your oh-so-courteous anonymous note is probably just going to leave everyone more “pi**ed off.”

Dear Neighbours, some people livin here , are really pi**ed about the way, you close your door, when coming/leaving. >>Closing<< is usually the wrong term to describe this. >>Crushing<< is mostly the better term. If your door is broken , let it repair from our beloved [redacted] or Repair it yourself or Use your key to close it in a way, not bothering your neighbors. ....and kindly give this info your visitors too ;-) Greetz & Peace

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extra credit: “Greetz” []

Tags: Berlin · Clearly a non-native English speaker · comma diarrhea · door-slamming · neighbors · noise · opening/closing · pointlessly self-censored profanity · sad face · smiley

Completely valid rebuttals

March 30th, 2010 · 103 Comments

More proof that — no matter how in the right you are — writing a note about it makes you kind of an airhose, too. Especially if you’re using Comic Sans.

From Elizabeth at CMU in Pittsburgh:

Do you leave annoying notes in the hall? You just might be self-righteous.

And from Drake at BYU in Provo, Utah:

DO NOT LEAN ON AIRHOSE!!! DON'T USE COMIC SANS!!! Better than Papyrus. TrueBetter than Papyrus. True

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extra credit: The man behind Comic Sans []

Tags: college life · Comic Sans Alert · door-slamming · most popular notes of 2010 · rebuttals · Utah