Entries Tagged as 'blame it on the crackhead'

Leave kitty alone!

July 1st, 2013 · 91 Comments

Writes Susan in Delaware: “My family and I live in a very large apartment complex and recently discovered a mother cat and her five kittens living in the bushes. We called a local trap/neuter/return charity so that we could get the kittens and her mom basic vet care, shots, and neutering. We posted notes next to each trap explaining exactly what we were doing, and that all housecats with collars/tags would be immediately released.”

Over the course of a week, Susan says, no non-feral cats were caught, but for whatever reason one of the neighbors decided to steal all of the traps and replace them with this lovely note.

FORGOTTEN IDIOTS We know you have no life but LEAVE OUR CATS ALONE and find something else to do with your sorry ass life. Some of us have Cats who we let out and have all their shots and we don't need your

“The kicker of all this is that trapping feral cats actually protects the health of house cats,” Susan says. “Even if their cat did get accidentally picked up it would have gotten free vet care, since I’m the one coughing up $35 per cat for the honor of watching, baiting, and setting the traps multiple times per day.”

Adds Susan: “The ‘Yetters’ mentioned is a nearby liquor store. I assume the writer of this note spends a lot of time there.”

related: “Place cats in box”

Tags: blame it on the crackhead · cats · Delaware · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Oh, sure, blame it on the crackhead.

September 6th, 2011 · 56 Comments

Take it from Whitney, kids: “Crack is whack.” (And it makes you an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything and everything.)

From Akron, Ohio:

The crackhead theives [sic] have been busy stealing our stuff, inside + out. Please report all crackhead sightings to SPD [phone number redacted]

From Toronto:

DEAR CRACKHEADS: Please don't steal the empty porn cases. They don't have much of a street value, and since crack/heroin renders you impotent anyways, we really don't see the logic in your decision making abilities. Big Kiss. 7/24 Staff

From New York City:

To the Crackhead who samshed in my windows

From Pueblo, Colorado:

Billboard

From Phoenix:

The fucking neighborhood Crack Head stole my broke down wore out mat bike what will the Dumb Ass Steal of yours next

From Seattle:

dear crackheads: please stop being crackheads. you thank

And lastly, from South London:

Squirrels on Crack

related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?

Tags: blame it on the crackhead · drugs · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's illegal

At least in prison they get to play basketball in the courtyard

October 13th, 2010 · 57 Comments

Unsurprisingly, Emily in D.C. says it took less than 24 hours for one her neighbors to call bullshit on the building management’s “exciting news.”

Exciting News!! The Courtyard is Now Open!!

Meanwhile, this building in Columbus, Ohio — which submitter Andrew says is “really nice and fancy-looking” — appears to take the mullet approach to policing its public spaces. (Business in the front, party in the back!)

Do not shit in doorway. Smoke your crack in rear lot. Thank you

Adds Andrew: “I 100% believe that this note is legit. I work exactly one block away from where the sign was posted, and a few days ago, I went outside only to find my self interrupting someone who was pissing on our dumpster. We have caught people in the act of shitting in our parking lot, and have also received many “anonymous fecal gifts.”

related: It’s fall! Here are a few updates and several complaints.

Tags: blame it on the crackhead · Columbus · D.C. · drugs · landlords and property managers · shit · WTF?

The right to bear fruit

August 27th, 2008 · 172 Comments

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

To the people who keep digging up and stealing plants from this garden...The surrounding neighbors have been alerted and are keeping watch now. (Some are ex-Military are not afraid to chase after you or shout.) I'm serious!!! This is private property! You are trespassing and committing a crime. I'm not rich and I like my garden go get a second job if you want plants! I'm warning you!

2. Macon, Georgia

To the Fucktard who stole my watermellon [sic]: It was not even RIPE yet. But I'm sure you didn't notice when you were high on crack. Leave my fucking plants alone! —Proud owner of a .45 and a 38 special

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The Mayor and The Police have been notified — WATCHING for any more Flower destruction and Theft

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

Tags: Austin · blame it on the crackhead · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · Macon · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Pittsburgh · spelling and grammar police · stealing