PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » drugs

Oh, sure, blame it on the crackhead.

Kerry — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 19:30:54 +0000

Take it from Whitney, kids: “Crack is whack.” (And it makes you an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything and everything.)

From Akron, Ohio:

From Toronto:

From New York City:

From Pueblo, Colorado:

From Phoenix:

From Seattle:

And lastly, from South London:

Dear parents: this is what you WON’T be hearing from your newly minted college grads

Kerry — Mon, 23 May 2011 02:27:11 +0000

(After all, once they’ve moved back home into their old bedrooms, they can just raid your liquor cabinet and sneak bills from your wallet, just like old times!)

Meanwhile, this note/social critique was spotted by James in downtown Iowa City, “amid dozens of bars and thousands of over-privileged young suburbanites.”

If, however, your entrepreneurial kiddos do decide to strike out their own, you might want to keep tabs on the Sudafed in the medicine cabinet. (Especially if “on their own” means “the room above the garage.”)

At least in prison they get to play basketball in the courtyard

Kerry — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 02:23:26 +0000

Unsurprisingly, Emily in D.C. says it took less than 24 hours for one her neighbors to call bullshit on the building management’s “exciting news.”

Meanwhile, this building in Columbus, Ohio — which submitter Andrew says is “really nice and fancy-looking” — appears to take the mullet approach to policing its public spaces. (Business in the front, party in the back!)

Adds Andrew: “I 100% believe that this note is legit. I work exactly one block away from where the sign was posted, and a few days ago, I went outside only to find my self interrupting someone who was pissing on our dumpster. We have caught people in the act of shitting in our parking lot, and have also received many “anonymous fecal gifts.”

In case you were wondering why we’re closed

Kerry — Tue, 11 May 2010 02:35:45 +0000

…the proprietors of this Toronto bar will leave you pondering some different questions instead.

Meanwhile, as Will observed, a Shell station in Austin apparently abides by a similar “honesty is the best” policy.

…as does a shopping center in Tyler, Texas, where Erin spotted this explanation (on a 100-degree July day).

Similar venting was on display at a store in Ironton, Ohio. (“For the record, I cannot validate whether or not the ‘oner’ was an in fact an asshole,” says submitter Meagan.)

And smetimes, of course, brutal honesty isn’t enough.

So really, why bother with an explanation at all?

What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

Kerry — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 23:10:28 +0000

When you work in the fashion business — like our submitter, a sales associate at a trendy boutique — being “fashion forward” often translates to just “forward.”

Or (like Lisa‘s coworker), straight-up bitchy.

Sometimes (as Rhonda in Boston noticed) working in fashion is somewhat akin to being, say, a life coach.

Or, just as likely…a drug counselor.

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

Escape poodle

Kerry — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:16:47 +0000

Our anonymous submitter in Canada says his apartment building has been having some crime issues lately that has the residents all aflutter — resulting (according to the following note) in a modern-day witch hunt…Canadian-style!

Jay darling, I think everybody in your building owes you a big fat hug.

related: On jamming

The Kronic—what?—kles of Keith

Kerry — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:18:39 +0000

One lazy Sunday, when our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “At first I thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. But then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

And yet, as many questions as these notes raise, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever Keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

Here, Keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

Then, evidently quite pleased with herself, Keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

related: to have and to hold

It’s on my dresser, next to my rolling papers

Kerry — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 00:12:03 +0000

Jeff in Grand Blanc, Michigan says one of his friends found this note on her bed one day when she came home from school. (and no, you can’t go live there.)

related: passive (voice) abuse

The right to bear fruit

Kerry — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 22:14:04 +0000

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

2. Macon, Georgia

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

The more you know

Kerry — Thu, 15 May 2008 12:30:45 +0000

This public service announcement is brought to us by Tully’s Coffee, courtesy of Megan in Seattle.

Passive (voice) abuse

kerry — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 02:12:06 +0000

Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

related: Don’t hate the playa

Nice move

Kerry — Fri, 05 Oct 2007 01:51:18 +0000

Long-simmering roommate issues comes to a head in Toronto…

(Green ink is being kicked out by black ink.)

Don’t hate the playa

Kerry — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 00:32:02 +0000

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”