Remarkably enough, our submitter, Dan in Milwaukee, says the following message was NOT penned by a satirical television writer, but rather by an anonymous member of the office Green Police. (The two pennies — payment for 2011′s extra energy usage — were then added later by an anonymous member of the office Bullshit Police.)

This is, of course, simply a new strategy in the ongoing war being waged in kitchenettes across the world by the United League of Office Workers Who Have Nothing Better to Complain About.

related: Some of have OCD and unused microwave time drives us crazy

Interested? here’s a free preview!

related: your to lazy

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. “I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

related: The return of Thx Sandra!