Entries Tagged as 'all-staff e-mail'
Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”
(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)
Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)
related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · Comic Sans Alert · dishes · fired · food · hygiene · memo · message to all intended for one · odor · office cop · Ontario · Tulsa
Luckily, Liz in Houston convinced her work buddy not to forward this not-at-all-passive Jerry Springer-esque rant to the entire company e-mail list, as originally intended. (Otherwise, work buddy’s much-needed vacation might have turned out to be a permanent one.)
related: Do your stairs think you’re fat?
extra credit: How not to land an internship [gawker.com]
Tags: all-staff e-mail · elevator · hey fatty · Houston · more aggressive than passive · not so much passive-aggressive · office · pointlessly self-censored profanity
Explains our submitter in New York: “This note is the result of a less-than-enthusiastic holiday food drive. Our office is a gray, lifeless place — what can one expect?”
(I don’t know…maybe some munchkins now and then?)
related: But what about Hawaiian Shirt Day?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · guilt trip · office · thanks (but not really)
Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)
related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking things up at Dairy Queen
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)
As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.
While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also be interested to see his advice for Mike in Cleveland, who seems to have similar delusions about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of 10.
(click the image below to enlarge)
The kicker? As it turns out, according to our anonymous submitter,”the bandit was, in fact, a guy!”
related: Just take the whole slice next time, okay?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought
With morale at many companies coasting towards all-time lows, those peppy human resources specialists keep coming up with new budget-conscious ways to keep us worker bees happily humming along. To wit: “Popcorn Thursday.” Sounds like a total blast, right?
Meanwhile, an anonymous post-it writer in Denver speaks up for how employees really feel about these “morale boosters.”
related: A sign (or ten) that your HR department might have too much time on their hands
Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · office · party planning committee
Ashley in Richmond, Virginia says this e-mail was sent to every single employee at her office. Then, “after thirty minutes, the sender attempted to recall it six times.” (That’s how you know she was SO SERIOUS.)
related: the classic all-staff e-mail
Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · cell phone · Richmond · spelling and grammar police
Office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.
The “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:
And — I shit you not — the response:
related: lean cuisine
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Columbus · food · office fridge · oh snap
This good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!
(click the image below to enlarge)
related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · God · guilt trip · ice cream · schools & teachers · stealing · you're like so going to hell
This all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (How this one got buried in my inbox for so long, I have no idea.)
It comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Chapel Hill, N.C., who notes: “In this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate HQ — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
extra credit: STFU, Parents
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · office · office fridge · preggers · runaway run-on sentences · stealing · yogurt