Entries Tagged as 'all-staff e-mail'
Our submitter, Glenn, says this all-staff e-mail “just kinda sucked the life out of us” around his office. “It was like a Mom saying ‘Guess what, kids?” in a really excited voice, and then saying ‘You’re going to the dentist!!!‘”
But the best part of this note — besides the pitch-perfect forced jollity — is the fact that at the time this message was sent, only one person in the office (Glenn) happened to have long sideburns and a “fun” faux hawk. So, gosh darn it, life is still good!
related: the classic all-staff e-mail
Tags: a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · now that's management · office · rhetorical question · Texas
Shirley in Canada says one of her coworkers sent this e-mail to the entire building — several hundred people in all — after what we can only assume was an unsuccessful half-day cooling-off period. (Or perhaps just several hours spent choosing the most whimsically enraged font/color combination.)
Meanwhile, this all-staff e-mail was sent to over 400 employees in Australia — “more than half of whom don’t even work in the same postcode.”
related: fight or flight
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Australia · Canada · e-mail · guilt trip · office · stealing · thanks (but not really)
Though the issue might not be top of mind for sophisticated and urbane readership of this website, let this serve as your warning: Should you find yourself in, say, Fayetteville, Arkansas (like Melissa, a California expat currently attending the U of A) you’ll soon realize how important it is to lay down the law with regard to proper cud disposal.
Of course, when you live as far north as Baltimore and notice that your boss has taken to spitting chaw in your trash can, the situation becomes that much more dire.
related: evidently, yes
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Arkansas · Baltimore · garbage · southern charm · spelling and grammar police · spitting · your/you're
“This guy at my boyfriend’s office sent out an invite — using the company email — for a ‘we’re single, let’s mingle party,’” says our anonymous submitter in Brookline, Mass. And apparently, this wasn’t the first time.
Even funnier than the subject line, our submitter adds, was the party dress code: business casual.
related: You were warned never to push Carrie to the limits
Tags: all-staff e-mail · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · it's my party · Massachusetts · office
Meg’s uncanny curatorial ability to uncover the silver lining in any situation was woefully under-appreciated at her last job, but even her former coworkers had to admit that this farewell e-mail was an impressive excavation of meg’s latent passive-aggressive tendencies.
Hi all, Due to Museum restructuring, my position has been terminated today. After seeing five other staff members voluntary departures from the Museum recently. I know this change is a step in the right direction for me. On to bigger, better galleries and museums with organized management and high-paying salaries!!! It has been a pleasure working with some of you more than others (you know who you are)! Cheers, Meg
related: This shit is bananas
Tags: all-staff e-mail · cheers · farewell letter · fired · you know who you are
In terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “Saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”
(Note: this e-mail, our Seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)
related: Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · irregular capitalization · odor · office · oh no you didn't · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · vomit
September 26th, 2007 · 94 Comments
Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.
What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite
Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing
Oh, how I love (totally tacky) reply-all e-mails.
Thanks to submitter Kate in New York City — who says she has a whole inbox full of e-mails like this from the coworkers at her law firm.
Tags: all-staff e-mail · e-mail · etiquette · food · holiday spirit · office · stealing
Awkward request, indeed.
Tags: all-staff e-mail · hey fatty · office