Your corporate overlords would like to offer this friendly reminder of how much we value our employees!

related: Recession incentive plan

Writes an office worker in Alabama: “A co-worker attends a weekly cooking class in town, and this week they made a Cinnamon Roll Casserole. The co-worker decided to bring it in to work and share it with the office.” The nerve of some people!

related: Loose lips shrink hips

Writes our disgusted submitter: “All that time on the toilet to think, and this is what you came up with?”
______________

related: Does your roommate have note-writing diarrhea?

Sorry, I meant back door. I’m gonna slowly back away now, ma’am…

related: Dear lovely ladies

Our submitter in Malaysia called this auto-reply from her coworker “a great way to ensure consistent passive-aggressiveness in the workplace, even when you’re busy holidaying.” (As always, just click the image to enlarge.)

It reminded me of these “instructional instructions” from the manual that James in the U.K. received with his DVD player.

related: Gee, that’ll show ‘em

Before her husband left on his first military deployment, Sarah in San Diego sent out an e-mail to the whole family with info about how everyone can stay in touch while he’s away. To avoid any potential in-law drama, she even had her husband read and sign off on the e-mail before sending. What neither Sarah nor her husband took into account? The Uncle Paul factor.

Her husband’s Uncle Paul, Sarah explains, is a mailman/postman/letter carrier — whatever the correct term is. (Based on Uncle Paul’s reply, she says, “I’m clearly not up enough on the intricate etiquette of the U.S. Postal Service to know.”)

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

If you needed another reason why mixing friends and money usually ends up badly, here’s five of them.

(And to the letter-writer: I think I’ve got a great “hassle-free” New Year’s resolution idea for you!)

(Thanks to Kristen in Leesburg, Virginia for forwarding!)

related: Two birds with one snowman

Our submitter, a college student in Wisconsin, passes along this “debackle” of an e-mail a girl in her art history class recently sent to all the other students in the class — and, in a particularly gutsy/idiotic move — to the professor, too.

Adds our submitter: “The funny thing is that the class is actually very enjoyable, the instructor has never changed a test date/format, and the lectures are always well organized and engaging. Judging from all the spelling errors, she might want to drop art history and pick up an English class instead.”

related: One final critique — put the damned phone away!

Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”

(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)

Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)

related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!

Our submitter and her brother — both adults — recently received this e-mail from their mother, who’s currently traveling (thus making telephone calls difficult). What ever did empty nesters do before e-mail?

(Actually, it’s pretty easy to imagine this in telegram form — just take out the word “email” and sub in <STOP> for all those question marks.)

related: Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place.