Apparently the “this will damage elevator” meme is the most exciting thing to happen around this Cincinnati cubicle farm in a long time.

(According to our submitter, the photos below represent only a fraction of the variations that have popped up all over the office.)

related: Death by a Thousand Puns

I asked our submitter if she might be able to snap another photo of this memo/notice — one without the ghostly reflection of the man in the wifebeater — but alas, she says, it has since been taken down and replaced with a new memo offering a $500 reward for information leading to the culprit still vandalizing the elevator.

And yet, now that I’ve spent a little time with this image (in all of its beautiful absurdity), I’ve come to feel that it just wouldn’t feel quite complete without wifebeater man. Because this, my friends, is a work of art.

related: Thx Sandra

As it happens, our entire technical staff (a.k.a Eric) recently completed a Ph.D in computer science and took a job at the newly formed Max Planck Institute for Intelligent Systems in picturesque Tübingen, Germany. (That’s right kids, if you work hard, and get your doctorate in computer science, you too may one day be qualified enough to host a found-content blog!)

Upon arriving at MPI’s Tübingen campus, Eric immediately felt at home. Specifically, he spotted some encouraging signage right next to the second floor elevator in one of MPI’s buildings.

Besides being a powerful testament to Southern Germany’s deep love of hiking, this health conscious posting also highlights the institute’s international reach. As you can see, the note itself is actually a photograph of a sign that was originally posted at (by?) Korea University*.

Of course walking down a single flight of stairs is hardly an inconvenience, particularly since the stairs in question are literally across from the elevator and lead directly to the building’s main entrance. The folks on the third floor, however, have a different perspective on the situation. Posted next to the third floor elevator is this rather charming reply.

Finally, from across the Atlantic, students at the University of Virginia have brought to light an additional concern surrounding the classic elevator vs. stairs debate. The following note, spotted by Trisha, was placed by the stairs of her UVA apartment building…along with an entire box of fat-free vanilla pudding.

Needless to say, the pudding was gone by the end of the day.

Moira and some friends recently rented a flat in Rome for a few days — lucky her, right? The only hitch to the plan was the fact their apartment was located on the very top floor, and while Rome might be the “The Eternal City,” spending eternity in a European-style elevator car wasn’t exactly the experience they were seeking.

Meanwhile, if you thought you weren’t afraid of elevators, a visit to the Hampton Inn in Burbank, California might change your mind. This placard inside the elevator (as documented by Kristen from Ohio), has got to be the least-reassuring attempt at preventing alarm I’ve ever seen. The fact that it manages to accomplish the exact opposite of its implied purpose makes me think the person behind it must be some kind of sadistic savant…and that he’s DEFINITELY watching you on the CCTV.

Not the anxious type? Well, how do you feel about dog shit and zombies? So far Kareen in Winnipeg has escaped this particular elevator unharmed, but that doesn’t mean she’s not watching where she steps.

related: Elevator nose grease

extra credit: “The Subway’s Elevator Operators, a Reassuring Amenity of Another Era” [nytimes.com]

extra extra credit: Time lapse video of a man stuck in an elevator for 41 hours [newyorker.com]

Hannah spotted this warning (and the accompanying Fire-Marshal takedown) posted at the University of Alaska art building in Juneau. On the ground floor.

“It’s the ground floor; only an idiot would use the stairs to escape a fire. There’s a door over there ->  - if it’s on fire –  <-There’s a door over there.”

“WHERE’S YOUR IMAGINATION?”

“DUH, HE SOLD IT TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.”

“What are you talking about? I’m imagining students cramming into the stairwell per this sign’s advice, just to get upstairs and see an identical sign directing them back down into the flames.”

Adding to the sign’s absurdity, Hannah says, is the fact that “the building is only two stories, and built at the base of an embankment. The upper floor can be accessed by the street on the upper level, and the lower level can be accessed either by stairs from the upper level or by at least four exit doors on the lower level.”

related: Snark-itti

Our submitter, April, fills us in on a little background: The CMB building on the UT-Austin campus is home to Austin’s local PBS station, KLRU, and NPR affiliate, KUT, as well as classrooms for the University’s Radio-TV-Film department.

Apparently, one of the jokers frequenting this building is fond of pressing his or her nose on the surface of the stainless steel elevator doors — or at least that’s the conclusion drawn by the exasperated author of the following screed.

related: Some suggestions for elevator small talk