Entries Tagged as 'ellipses-crazed'

I think this is the best costume for today.

February 3rd, 2010 · 79 Comments

Noah in Richmond, Virginia spotted this earnest plea in the bathroom of “a funky little coffee shop” on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. “The sign was also on a bulletin board in the middle of the shop as well,” he says — “just in case the thief was avoiding the scene of the crime.”
And [...]

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Tags: art · ellipses-crazed · north carolina · restaurant · stealing · wtf?

An e-mail from my arteries

January 19th, 2010 · 65 Comments

Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking [...]

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

notes with character

June 12th, 2009 · 119 Comments

Because nobody says “I mean business” like…Donald Duck.

Except, perhaps, Mickey Mouse?
Writes our anonymous submitter in Toronto: “My sister went to do her laundry with her 2-year-old daughter who kept on saying ‘Mickey! Mickey!’” It seemed like random toddler babbling…until she saw the note.

related: how many wonders can one cavern hold?

extra credit: didn’t disney sue a [...]

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Tags: california · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy! · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · out-of-context cartoon character · toronto

Why can’t you act professional?

June 8th, 2009 · 146 Comments

Writes Aimee in Sellersburg, Indiana: “My former boss used to leave these kind of notes posted on our work bulletin board constantly. It was a really boring job, so these little rays of sunshine made coming to work worth it.”

related: I don’t recall signing any bond/contact regarding your use of exclamation points!!!

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · crazy boss · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy! · indiana · now that's management · sad face · you call that punctuation?

The rhyme that must be flushed

December 9th, 2008 · 196 Comments

Apparently, sayeth google analytics, the oh-so-clever phrase “if you sprinkle when you tinkle” is one of the most common search terms that leads people to this little website. (Sorry to disappoint you, folks — no cross-stitch patterns to be found here.)
So, um, yeah…I’m gonna go curl up the fetal position and die now. I’ll leave [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · bathroom · ellipses-crazed · highlighter · toilet

Shittiest secret admirer ever?

April 10th, 2008 · 153 Comments

“My roommate thinks I took her dry erase board when I was 40 miles away the week it was taken,” says an anonymous college student in Tampa, Florida. “She has been leaving me notes like this ALL YEAR.”
God help our poor submitter, but I’m nominating this crazy rainbow of a note for the passive-aggressive hall [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy! · gloriously redundant · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · oh the irony · rainbow-colored · roommates · stealing · whiteboard

landmine in my bloodline

February 8th, 2008 · 110 Comments

nothing could have prepared lauren in oakland for the passive-aggressive avalanche that awaited her the other day at her new apartment. she calls the experience of finding the notes totally surreal. “it keeps playing back in slow motion in my mind, from the second i saw the first one hanging over the threshold to my [...]

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Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · ellipses-crazed · oakland · roommates · spelling and grammar police

It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich

December 5th, 2007 · 138 Comments

Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

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Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · reston · stealing · virginia

Oh, shit!

November 11th, 2007 · 173 Comments

My own neighborhood of Park Slope, Brooklyn has high concentrations of dogs, babies, crazies and bloggers, which makes for a heady brew of incredibly well-documented passive-aggressiveness. Certain notes (like this long-running series) show up in my inbox over and over again. I’ve gotten various iterations of this note from no fewer than six different people [...]

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Tags: apostrophe abuse · brooklyn · dogs · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy! · irregular capitalization · park slope · saga · shit · unnecessary "quotation marks"

For your records

November 9th, 2007 · 293 Comments

I think what fascinates me most about this e-mail, from the head of the party planning committee — excuse me, “fun fund” — at an office in Toronto, is the subject line. Not only does the writer ignore the obvious “let them eat cake,” she vetoes the direct approach (“hey, fatty”) in favor of the [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · cake · canada · ellipses-crazed · etiquette · money · office · overzealous secretary · party planning committee · toronto

Going up?

October 2nd, 2007 · 52 Comments

Anna brings us this charitable little note from the her apartment building in London, Ontario.
“Anytime Stan” — proof that Canadians really are the nicest people on earth?

Meanwhile, in Milwaukee…

And lastly, a vaguely dadaist interpretation, in what very well may be another one of L.A.’s elevator-cum-film sets.

related: cross-country elevator action

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · canada · elevator · ellipses-crazed · los angeles · milwaukee · neighbors · ontario · p.s. · vomit

Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

September 26th, 2007 · 97 Comments

Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.

What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · all-staff e-mail · comic sans alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing

four approaches to ice cube maintenance

June 20th, 2007 · 35 Comments

exhibit a) from richmond, virginia: the pedantic approach

exhibit b) from minneapolis. minnesota: the conditional approach

exhibit c) from hartford, connecticut: the ALL for one and one for ALL approach

exhibit d) from dallas, texas: the federal government’s approach

(thanks to erik and kim for their submissions.)

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · connecticut · dallas/fort worth · ellipses-crazed · ice · minnesota · office · virginia

Do the rest of us a favor

June 19th, 2007 · 89 Comments

Looks like both the Mad Bomber and Richard G. Sells have West-coast counterparts:

Grossed out? Yeah, me too. Blame Gregory in Los Angeles for documenting this one (!!!)
related: The Mad Bomber, Act 1: “Sorry about the language”

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · ellipses-crazed · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy! · group bitchfest · los angeles · more aggressive than passive · office · piss · shit · that shit is disgusting · toilet

please ladies please

June 3rd, 2007 · 23 Comments

maybe it’s the manic use of ellipses and exclamation points, but this note makes me very uncomfortable.

says erica in new york city, “as bad as it can get in the ladies’, i’ve been told the men’s bathroom is even worse.”

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Tags: "helpful" advice · bathroom · bullet points · comic sans alert · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy! · hygiene · new york · office · spelling and grammar police · toilet