Patti in Madrid, Spain couldn’t help but laugh when she saw this notice. “I kept imagining all the losers buzzing random apartments, asking, ‘Hey, is this the dental clinic?’” — presumably, until one of the frustrated residents posted this sign.

Translation: The dental clinic is at the button that says “dental clinic.” Thank you!

related: Please, contain your excitement.

Juliet from Los Angeles came upon this sign near the summit of a 12-km hike up Turrialba Volcano, in Costa Rica. “As I stared down into giant crater of the active volcano, dotted with sulfur pools, I realized the sign was right. Swimming in those pools probably wasn’t worth the expense.”

The dryly practical approach seems to be a popular one at tourist locations around the world — especially zoos, such as this one on Langkawi Island:

Meanwhile, this resort in the Bahamas adds its own whimsical twist:

related: You don’t need a cell phone to talk to God

“I pass this billboard every day on my way home from work,” says our submitter from Tennessee. “Apparently, some tax breaks were given for Volkswagen to build a plant here in Chattanooga, which will eventually bring thousands of jobs to this area. This group is upset that not EVERYONE who is involved in constructing the plant was born in the United States.”

A side note from Ana in Guatemala (fifth flag from the left): “Guatemala is a very beautiful — albeit dangerous — country. Crime rates are through the roof, but in this small American-run inn, hope prevails…mostly.”

related: America the not-so-beautiful

Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift shop. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”

related: When nature calls

Si te robas algo de esta tienda, es lo mismo que robar de alguien que esta infectado con SIDA. Fijate!!! Stealing from this shop is the same as stealing from people with AIDS. Consider this!!!

Túlio in Buenos Aires brings us this note, photographed by his amiga Ana, on the occasion of Ricky’s 49th birthday. (His party was canceled, you see, due to a lack of cooperación.)

[Roughly translated: PARTY SUSPENDED for want of friends' cooperation... (We'll see you at the 50th)]

“It’s sad and funny at the same time,” Túlio writes, to which I’d have to respond, “sí.”

related: You know, I’m getting input here that I’m reading as relatively hostile

I really thought it couldn’t get more egregious than this clip-art catastrophe from a church in Boston (left), which made this one (right) look downright tasteful in comparison.

But then, at a friend’s recent wedding, Carey in Northern Virginia spotted this note — complete with that same punchy little yellow smiley — on several doors of the church. (There are more than one, I suppose, so that when you do a double-take and ask yourself “Wait…did they really just go there?” you can rest assured that yes, they really did.)

The kicker? Before the service started, Carey says, “We spotted the priest up near the altar — chatting on his Razr.”

Meanwhile in guatemala, Boingboing‘s Xeni Jardin spotted a sign one might consider either more or less blasphemous depending on whether you’re a follower of Christ or of the principles of good design

(translation: “TO TALK WITH GOD/YOU DON’T NEED A CELLPHONE/TURN IT OFF PLEASE”)

And if you’re of a faith that prefers to talk directly to God’s intermediaries, you might prefer the approach of this Guatemalan church also documented by Xeni:

“Talk to me personally,
I [will] listen to you.
You do not need a cellphone.
Yours truly,
GOD.”

related: Stop! In the name of clip art

extra credit: Crummy church signs

No, you can’t  — at least not near the copy machine at Erin’s office in Indianapolis.

Meanwhile, Alvaro’s office in Madrid is having licking issues of its own near the office coffee machine. (Translation: “Please do not lick this teaspoon/ it’s for collective use.”)

And the licking doesn’t stop there…

P.S. Before you leave, please wipe your feet really good on the rhythm rug.