Moira and some friends recently rented a flat in Rome for a few days — lucky her, right? The only hitch to the plan was the fact their apartment was located on the very top floor, and while Rome might be the “The Eternal City,” spending eternity in a European-style elevator car wasn’t exactly the experience they were seeking.

Meanwhile, if you thought you weren’t afraid of elevators, a visit to the Hampton Inn in Burbank, California might change your mind. This placard inside the elevator (as documented by Kristen from Ohio), has got to be the least-reassuring attempt at preventing alarm I’ve ever seen. The fact that it manages to accomplish the exact opposite of its implied purpose makes me think the person behind it must be some kind of sadistic savant…and that he’s DEFINITELY watching you on the CCTV.

Not the anxious type? Well, how do you feel about dog shit and zombies? So far Kareen in Winnipeg has escaped this particular elevator unharmed, but that doesn’t mean she’s not watching where she steps.

related: Elevator nose grease

extra credit: “The Subway’s Elevator Operators, a Reassuring Amenity of Another Era” [nytimes.com]

extra extra credit: Time lapse video of a man stuck in an elevator for 41 hours [newyorker.com]

Mark from Liverpool spotted this sign in the window of a vintage clothing store in the center of Rome. Please, someone go take a dump in their fitting room.

Meanwhile, as Tyler and his pals discovered, this vintage store in Madison, Wisconsin is apparently only obnoxious to its actual customers. “The changing rooms were covered in notes,” Tyler says, “and the old woman behind the counter had a continuous look of disdain on her face. It took us a while to realize that was just the way she rested her face.”

Rather than, say, passing judgment on the sizes of their potentially TOO LARGE waists.

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

What does “fashion forward” mean to you?

Sara is one of seven students sharing an apartment in Venice. After three months of living together, she says, it became clear that one of the flatmates had to go: he had nasty habits like, um, pleasuring himself in his in other people’s bedrooms while they were out.

“We gently told him we thought it was better for everybody if he looked for another house,” Sara says, but he didn’t take the hint. So one of the other roommates decided to leave him this note:

Roughly translated from the Italian, it reads: “It’s time you leave.”

(He did.)