Entries Tagged as 'Europe'

Nobody does a “polite notice” quite like the Brits

September 20th, 2011 · 38 Comments

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

We walk our dogs in Stanmer Park/We go to the cafe where they sit and bark/We put out water, sell doggy biscuits at the till/We provide a lead so they sit still/So when we are busy at the till and doggy water needs a fill, please give us a thought, please don't moan/Just collect your dog and take him home/Next time when doggy wants to roam bring some water and don't moan/we are here to do a job, and it's up to you to care for your dog

related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle

Tags: "customer service" · "polite notice" · dogs · don't blame us · martyr complex · pure poetry · restaurant · U.K.

Hampstead Row Houses (and Rows over Houses)

September 18th, 2011 · 36 Comments

David spotted this oh-so-charming scene while cycling through the well-to-do area of Hampstead, London.

Adds David: “The completely knackered fence is in front of an overgrown plot and right next door to a well looked-after house (possibly owned by old folk who are convinced the neighbourhood has gone to ruin.”)

This disgraceful eyesore of a fence is owned by a firm of architects. A profession dedicated to the art of landscaping!

This disgraceful eyesore of a fence is owned by a firm of architects. A profession dedicated to the art of landscaping!

Meanwhile, Alison was a bit perplexed by this note (and the seemingly undisturbed hedge below) in West Hampstead. “I stared at the hedge for ages trying to work out what was wrong with it,” she says. “Finally I just took a picture and ran away.”

We apologise for the state of this hedge. It is the result of an act of vandalism by a resident in this building. We are taking action.

We apologise for the state of this hedge. It is the result of an act of vandalism by a resident in this building. We are taking action.

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

extra credit: An American’s Guide to Britishisms [effingpot.com]

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · London · public shaming · there goes the neighborhood · vandalism

Beware of Barking Mad Cat Lovers!

September 14th, 2011 · 61 Comments

While on her first trip to Bergen, Norway, Den from London was strolling a residential side street when she came across across this note taped to a large window where, just inside, several cats were dozing the day away.

The cutesy clip art is a nice touch, Den says, but she was particularly tickled by the idea of this person rounding up cat-lovers from across the Internet to bark manically at THE PATHETIC MAN WHO DO NOT EVEN HAVE BALLS the next time he strolls by with his dog.

DO WE WISH ME TO PUBLISH YOUR PHOTO ALL OVER INTERNET? ...SO ALL MY FRIENDS AND CAT LOVERS CAN JOIN YOUR HOBBY AND START HAUNTING AND BARKING/ATTACKING ON YOU WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT?

related: My cat-shit crazy neighbor

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cats · clip art catastrophe · dogs · noise · Norway

Not one for small talk, eh?

September 7th, 2011 · 33 Comments

Spotted by Helen in the window of a shop in Haworth, West Yorkshire.

(It was closed.)

BEFORE YOU ASK: YES, A LOT OF SHOPS ARE CLOSED. NO, I DON'T KNOW WHEN THEY'LL BE OPEN. NO, I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'LL BE OPEN. IN FACT, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHEN THIS SHOP WILL BE OPEN. YES, THE WEATHER IS POOR/BEAUTIFUL/CRAP. NO, WE DON'T SELL NEWSPAPERS.

related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Tags: "customer service" · let me stop you right there · retail hell · small talk · U.K.

The Gateway to Contractor Hell

September 5th, 2011 · 44 Comments

While vacationing in Ireland in May, Morgan and her husband ate at a new restaurant in the village of Durrus, in County Cork. “By the next morning,” she says, “the whole town was talking about the ‘gift’ left in the parking spots out front.”

Eoin Hourihane Carpenter & Building Contractor Has not been paid for work carried out, in The Gateway, Durrus

Eoin Hourihane Carpenter & Building Contractor Has not been paid for work carried out, in The Gateway, Durrus

related: You lied to me, Mr. Lundegaard.

Tags: Ireland · money · public shaming

But where is the dental clinic?

August 25th, 2011 · 44 Comments

Patti in Madrid, Spain couldn’t help but laugh when she saw this notice. “I kept imagining all the losers buzzing random apartments, asking, ‘Hey, is this the dental clinic?’” — presumably, until one of the frustrated residents posted this sign.

La clínica dental es en el botón que pone "Clínica Dental." ¡¡Gracias!! (Translation: The dental clinic is at the button that says "dental clinic." Thank you!)

Translation: The dental clinic is at the button that says “dental clinic.” Thank you!

Clínica Dental Alcala

related: Please, contain your excitement.

Tags: Espanol · gloriously redundant · Spain

Closed due to impending anarchy

August 10th, 2011 · 44 Comments

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Due to the imminent collapse of society we regret to announce we are closing at 6pm tonight.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

Temporarily out of order. (We live in a fallen world) We will restore order here as soon as possible.

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

Tags: Cincinnati · don't blame us · U.K. · WTF?

Cinderella be drizzunk

July 31st, 2011 · 22 Comments

“I saw this when passing by a neighbour’s house, and thought that this was one of their better efforts,” writes Kelly in the U.K. “I personally would have just chucked them myself.”

(Adds Kelly: “I’m guessing they belonged to the same person who decorated half the street with vomit.”)

Are these your shoes? Too drunk to remember where you left them? Sorry I am not your Prince Charming and didn't search the neighbourhood to find out whose foot fits the slippers LOL

Meanwhile, the Internet’s all “been there/done that/seen the animated GIF.”

bitch be drunk as hell, losing shoes and shit

related: If you were the one who was so drunk or so stupid that you left your camera in the park last night…

Tags: drizzunk · neighbors · shoes · U.K.

It’s not just God who’s watching you…

July 17th, 2011 · 35 Comments

While admiring a “very nice” church in Edinburgh, James was only slightly discomfited by this notice about the measures being taken to ensure his comfort.

SMILE, you are on camera. For your safety and comfort there are 9 security cameras monitoring the premises. If you are not here to pray - it's not just God who's watching you!

related: He died for your clip art

Tags: clip art catastrophe · God · Scotland

A different sort of case for the International Criminal Court

June 26th, 2011 · 40 Comments

First, a bit of global trivia: The Hague may be best known for its war crimes tribunals, but the Netherlands’ third-largest city is also home to one of the best-known masterworks of Dutch art, Vermeer’s Girl with a Pearl Earring. And second, something you probably already know: we Americans (at home or abroad) can be pretty obnoxious sometimes. Rachel from Santa Clarita, California can talk to you about all of the above.

While visiting the Vermeers at the Hague’s Mauritshuis Museum, she stumbled upon this entry in the guestbook from a fellow Californian. In fairness, Rachel says, “The writer does have a point; the way that the paintings are displayed makes it difficult to see/appreciate them. But I think trying the curator in the Hague is a tad excessive.”

It is a crime against humanity to place the Girl w/ a Pearl Earring against a dark green background It should be placed over a light gray background to optically recover the tone of the painting. The museographer should be tried and condemned right here in the Hague. Y.J. (an art critic and painter from LA)

It is a crime against humanity to place the Girl w/ a Pearl Earring against a dark green background It should be placed over a light gray background to optically recover the tone of the painting. The museographer should be tried and condemned right here in the Hague. Y.J. (an art critic and painter from LA)

related: The art of passive resistance

Tags: Americans abroad · art · Netherlands