Entries Tagged as 'U.K.'

Oxford drama

March 2nd, 2008 · 132 Comments

Our submitter found this glorious piece of work on the door to the common room at her Oxford University dorm. “The guy who left it was a 6’5 redheaded dude who wore cravats,” she says. “No one was gonna fuck with him.” (I don’t really understand the causality there, but I’m gonna let that one go.)

I will give Dustin this much, though: through the pain, he always tells the truth.

I broke a glass because I don't always know my own strength

related: come get some

Tags: college life · just an asshole · most popular notes of 2008 · signed with love · U.K. · warning

Hostile takeover

February 5th, 2008 · 75 Comments

A possibly prescient note from the offices of Yahoo! U.K….

hostile takeover

related: just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm

Tags: excessive underlining · London · milk · office fridge · stealing · U.K. · Yahoo

No, that’s not the British spelling

September 24th, 2007 · 128 Comments

“You know when you drink so much that you can’t remember what you did the night before?” asks our anonymous Scottish pizza bandit. “Sometimes we’re lucky enough to encounter certain things which trigger memories of our alcohol-fueled rampage. I was lucky enough to come across this the next day.”

Dear pizza theif [sic], I hope you enjoyed those two slices of Dominoes pizza. I did. It was so nice in fact I kept it in the fridge to enjoy. So it was to my surprise to find those slices missing the next day. My mum bought me that pizza — but I guess you must have been in dire hunger to eat my food. In that case, that's alright. At least you cleaned the side plate afterwards. But I will still kill you. Craig.

Tags: fridge · guilt trip · not-so-veiled threats · pizza · roommates · sarcasm · Scotland · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Now that’s effective management

September 10th, 2007 · 113 Comments

Craig from Nottingham, England snapped these at the pub where his cousin works. (Apologies for the blurriness — just pretend you’ve already knocked back a few pints.)

TO ALL STAFF  The habit of simply writing in the duties diary or ringing up to say "Can't work" will cease forthwith. With my approval, attempts to swap shifts with another member of staff of a similar experience will be made first if that is not possible then approach to me to ask for time off. Although for some of you your work is part-time it is not temporary and I expect people when they say they want to to work at the pub to fufil [sic] their part of the bargain.

Keep this area clean and tidy and all times  do not throw away the gold coffee lids   do not eat the coffee mints

All staff: The standards achieved in this pub are not what I expect. Unless effort and levels of cleanliness improve then you must expect the consequences.

If the tin is down or up and you don't tell me then I MAY take the difference from your wages.

By the way, if you’d like to go meet Stephen and shake his hand, Craig says the name of the pub is The Flowing Spring, in Henley. Stephen seems like a kindred spirit to Desi’s New York dungeon master, no?

related: p-e-t-t-y

Tags: bar · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · crazy boss · excessive underlining · not-so-veiled threats · Nottingham · office · U.K.

Water, water everywhere

August 7th, 2007 · 40 Comments

“Informing the building landlord about a sticky tap would probably have been a more sensible move than guilt-tripping the female staff into feeling responsible for global water shortages,” notes Rayya in Canterbury, Kent.

But it doesn’t end there. Says Rayya, “Not only are we responsible for global water shortages , but we’re breaking people’s limbs!”

Over the last week two ladies have slipped over water left on the floor between the toilet cubicles and the basins. One of them had to be taken to a hospital with a suspected broken ankle and wrist. If you spill any water it makes the floor very slippery and dangerous. PLEASE at the very least be kind enough to put the danger sign over the spillage to warn your colleagues. But preferably mop it up, there are blue paper towels in most of the kitchen areas. Many thanks

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · danger · guilt trip · office · The Earth · U.K. · water

Pencils goeth

August 6th, 2007 · 43 Comments

This note comes to us from an archaeological dig in the U.K. (Roman Silchester, to be precise), where our submitter says the planning team was quite worried about the writing instruments going the way of Ancient Rome.

PLANNING AMNESTY Missing: 33 Pencils, 39 Erasers. Search your pockets, search your tent, search your conscience

Tags: stealing · U.K.

A limerick

July 31st, 2007 · 43 Comments

Back in 2006, Austin in London didn’t feel like confronting his roommate about the masses of hair that were clogging the bathroom sink. Instead, he wrote him this special poem.

Adds Austin: “My roommate never actually said anything about the note, but he did clean the drain out by the time I’d arived home…so I assume he got the message.”

There once was a clog in the drain/That was caused by the hair of one's mane/The kind fellow said/

Tags: all clogged up · bathroom · London · pure poetry · roommates

To each his own microwave

July 19th, 2007 · 110 Comments

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

This microwave was privately purchased by SDT + is for their use only. Permission has been given by Facilities Services.

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

It has a PADLOCK!

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

This Microwave is the property of General Services/Accounts Receivable. If you would like to contribute to the cost and upkeep please contact General Services before using. Clean after use and ensure all food products are covered before cooking.

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

I haven't got a microwave as yet but this is where i am going to put it when I eventually get it.

related: No smelly foods

Tags: Belfast · kitchen · microwave · note wars · office · saga · spelling and grammar police

What Michael Moore didn’t show you in Sicko

July 11th, 2007 · 30 Comments

Annette in the U.K. calls this one “How to make toast in the NHS.”

MAKING TOAST!!!! While bread is only provided for the patients, nobody minds our hard working staff making themselves some toast However due to recent problems to following rules apply to EVERYBODY

Tags: bread · CAPS LOCK · danger · dishes · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hospitals & doctors · office · U.K.

Your mother doesn’t work here (or here, or here, or here)

July 6th, 2007 · 94 Comments

your mother would be embarassed by these stock images

did you mean

449441454_052595f9a5.jpg

mummy doesn't work here

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2007 · Nebraska · office · U.K. · Virginia · visual aids · Your mother doesn't...