Halloween: smashing children’s dreams, one pumpkin at a time. (Sigh)

(Spotted by Toby in the U.K.)

related: Another four-year-old gets wise to the cruel, cruel world we live in

Spotted by Vicky at an antiques shop in Bath, England: a modern twist on the ancient local tradition of curse tablets. (To quote Wikipedia: “About 130 curse tablets have been found at Aquae Sulis, now Bath in England, where many of the curses related to thefts of clothes whilst the victim was bathing.”)

related: Law & Order: Social Media Unit

extra credit: Curse tablets of Roman Britain

“One of our local parks has a busy tea shop that’s popular with walkers, cyclists, families and people exercising their dogs,” says Clive in Brighton. “I don’t blame them for getting fed up with demanding dog owners, and I suppose a note is one way to communicate, but in rhyme? And, worse, rhyme this bad?”

related: A polite notice to the owner of this marvelous vehicle

David spotted this oh-so-charming scene while cycling through the well-to-do area of Hampstead, London.

Adds David: “The completely knackered fence is in front of an overgrown plot and right next door to a well looked-after house (possibly owned by old folk who are convinced the neighbourhood has gone to ruin.”)

Meanwhile, Alison was a bit perplexed by this note (and the seemingly undisturbed hedge below) in West Hampstead. “I stared at the hedge for ages trying to work out what was wrong with it,” she says. “Finally I just took a picture and ran away.”

related: An eye for an eye, an eyesore for an eyesore

extra credit: An American’s Guide to Britishisms [effingpot.com]

Spotted by Helen in the window of a shop in Haworth, West Yorkshire.

(It was closed.)

related: A not-so-subtle clue that your co-worker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

No, the London riots aren’t really “funny,” but Rachael wasn’t the only one who found the note of gallows humor in this notice — from a U.K. Subway sandwich shop — to be worth a second glance.

Coincidentally, on the very same day, Rebecca in Cincinnati snapped a photo of this sign — which seemed to me like something straight out of The Handmaid’s Tale. Despite the dramatic wording, Rebecca says the chaos at hand here was actually a missing replica T-Rex tooth from a display at The Creation Museum (where she was guilt-tripped into going by her less irreverent extended family).

related: Are you ready for your Rapture party?

“I saw this when passing by a neighbour’s house, and thought that this was one of their better efforts,” writes Kelly in the U.K. “I personally would have just chucked them myself.”

(Adds Kelly: “I’m guessing they belonged to the same person who decorated half the street with vomit.”)

Meanwhile, the Internet’s all “been there/done that/seen the animated GIF.”

related: If you were the one who was so drunk or so stupid that you left your camera in the park last night…

While admiring a “very nice” church in Edinburgh, James was only slightly discomfited by this notice about the measures being taken to ensure his comfort.

related: He died for your clip art