Entries Tagged as 'U.K.'

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Please resubmit your inquiry after it has been properly notarized. Regards, your flatmates

October 12th, 2009 · 127 Comments

S in London says his flatmate was obviously exceedingly upset about his missing can opener. Of course, this being England, the old “stiff upper lip” sometimes still prevails…sort of.

I am not sure what has happened to my expensive tin opener?

related: memorandum to the roommates

Tags: a little uptight · London · roommates

You can have the inflatable bananas

September 28th, 2009 · 100 Comments

Katie in Scotland says she found this note “stuck to a wall at about knee-height, right above a very sad-looking deflated palm tree and a bunch of deflated inflatable bananas.” Unfortunately, Katie says, “i have no idea what the back story is…but I would love to, especially as the note writer seems to be a fair bit older than 8 or 11.”

Dylan + Amy: Because you're 8 & 11, I assume you know how to read. You can have the inflatable bananas + palm tree. We don't want them. I was rude to you cause you were rude to me. 8 + 11 is quite little.

related: Desperately seeking closure

Tags: kids · U.K. · WTF?

Just a rat in a cage

September 10th, 2009 · 174 Comments

Writes Leslie in London: “My co-worker, Janine was having some serious keyboard RAGE and posted this request to our office’s online help desk, which every single person in the company can see…including Daniel.”

Can we get Daniel a quieter keyboard please? I've not said anything to anyone, but it's doing my head in.

This post is dedicated to my cube-mate Leah, who recently received a surprise “gift” — a quiet-touch keyboard — from our boss, which succeeded in making her feel even more self-conscious about her “loud typing.”

Sadly, she observed, the IT department has no solution for the cringe-inducing sound our fellow coworker who insists on clipping her nails at her desk.

related: Suck on this!

Tags: London · noise · office

Al Gore knows you’re a little tease

August 9th, 2009 · 106 Comments

Caroline sends this delightful trio of holier-than-thou notes from “a rather famous university in Scotland where many students and staff have delusions of grandeur.”

The first  note was spotted, Caroline says, while exiting a building “where many people work late and lights are almost always burning to help us find our way through the maze of corridors. I found these stuck to just about every light switch in the vicinity. Luckily, I snapped a picture as the next day they were all crumpled into balls and thrown on the floor in what i assume was a protest against sexualising light switches.”

You turned me on and left me.

(“Next time,” she adds, “I will make sure my light switch is fully satisfied before I leave.”)

The second note, Caroline says, “is posted in a building where, due to the age of the pipes, the water is filled with lead and unsafe to drink, meaning water coolers are conveniently posted on most floors. I know we are a biology building and we have to care about the environment and blah blah blah, but while we are doing our world-saving research, would it be ok if we just had a cup of water that isn’t going to kill us?” [Ed. note: Yes, the note-writer has a point.]

Here's a novel idea...

The final note is posted next to the door leading to one of the outside smoking areas. “Unfortunately,” Caroline says, “it tends to have the opposite effect than intended. Every time I see it, I find myself having to sneak one in.”

Don't even THINK about smoking.

Moral of the story this website: even if you’re on the most solid moral/ethical/logical/legal ground, writing an snotty note about it will backfire on you more often than not. [insert maniacal emoticon]

related: Al Gore knows you know drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

Tags: anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · college life · double-entendre alert · energy usage · Scotland · The Earth

Are you proud to be an American?

July 4th, 2009 · 206 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a university flat in the U.K. with four other guys. “Three of us (myself, an American, and a Brit) always take out the garbage and recycling when it’s our turn, but the two other international students seem to think it’s somehow beneath them. There must have been some unpleasantness while i was away for Easter break, because I came home to find this note stuck to the kitchen door, courtesy of my American flatmate.”

Adds our submitter: “I particularly like his choice of symbols to emphasize America as a ruling power: the stars and stripes, a cheeseburger, and Superman.” (And then, of course, there’s the note’s tone —  remarkably in line with American foreign policy!)

are you proud to be an american?

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

related: just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad

Tags: Americans abroad · college life · misplaced patriotism · most popular notes of 2009 · recycling · roommates · U.K.

Clearly seeking his master’s in diplomacy

June 15th, 2009 · 103 Comments

Our anonymous university student in Cambridge, England found this note pinned to the door of his shared house. “The guy who wrote it moved here from America about five weeks ago and is about eight years older than the rest of us in the house. He seems to be a nice guy, but has this strange aggressive side that we are now a little wary of. Last week he cleaned out all the fridges, claiming he had not been offered any space in them, throwing away open food belonging to other people.”

Adds our submitter: “We are a pretty relaxed household and have lived with the mystery soaker for the whole year. It seems a little odd that this guy is making all this fuss so close to the end of term when we will all leave and he will presumably have the house to himself.”

clearly seeking his master's in diplomacy

related: Oxford drama

Tags: college life · roommates · shower · U.K. · Your mother doesn't...

Put a frame on it, and boom! Art.

June 11th, 2009 · 45 Comments

Alice in York, U.K. spotted this little work of art in the kitchen she shares with — yikes — fourteen other people.

Don't think I haven't noticed. STOP IT. These bags aren't yours!

Now, you wizened old troublemakers might skim past this as a throwaway…but thanks to this month’s Passive-Aggressive Notes gallery show at London’s kk outlet, little gems like this are — at least for a few more weeks — getting the treatment they deserve!

at the london gallery show

So if you’re in London this month, check it out! or, you know, don’t. Whatever.

This is a Passive Aggressive Note: This time come in for the art not the free bar, twats

extra credit: More photos from the opening at kk outlet

Tags: art · meta · roommates · U.K.

I don’t remember signing any bond/contract regarding your use of exclamation points!!!!!

May 26th, 2009 · 118 Comments

Writes Toni in Wales: “I found these fightin’ words taped to one housemate’s cupboard. We’ve had some things go missing in the house, so I sympathise with their frustration. But the funniest part of this note, I think, is that this housemate had previously called a house meeting to complain about the other housemates’ infrequent and only slightly passive-aggressive notes. She considered them to be lowering the tone of the household, and demanded that any issues be raised in person (fair enough) — but then posted this doozy with no warning. The 30 exclamation points are a nice touch, though.”

exclamation points? i'll give you exclamation points.

related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · roommates · stealing · Wales

Ladri di biciclette

May 11th, 2009 · 194 Comments

Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:

1. Assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in Italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.

This is not post-war Italy. Stealing bikes is not cool.

2. Feigning empathy for said thief.

Dear bike thief, I am very sorry that circumstances in your life led you to need to steal my bike. I hope that taking it had helped you to get your life back on track. Good luck. Love, a friend [response] Thanks, chap! Don't worry - doing fine, the bike is terrific, hello from me mates. Later, bicycle thief

3. Chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.

STUPID BIKE THIEF YOUR [sic] RUBBISH NOW NOW ONE CAN USE THE BIKE SHAME ON YOU TRYING TO STEAL

(Grazie mille to Nadia in Melbourne, Chris in Amsterdam, and Tom in London for submitting!)

related: No, Daddy, I asked for a Wii!

Tags: Amsterdam · Australia · bicycle · London · Melbourne · public shaming · stealing · your/you're