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Entries Tagged as 'U.K.'

A review of last night’s performance

February 17th, 2010 · 194 Comments

Aleister in London found this critique slipped under his door after an impromptu Thursday night sing-along.  “I am a big fan of my neighbours’ critical opinion,” Alastair says. “I won’t offer much defense other than that our music selection was exceptional and I was on my way to work when I found it.”

Well done, Flat 3. Dry wit, a soft touch, and lovely handwriting? This is one note that definitely deserves a place of honor on the fridge.

Dear Flat 1, We are sorry to bother you but we couldn't help hearing what a fantastic time you had last night/this morning.

If you absolutely must write a note, I’d say this is how to do it.

related: It was an ironic dance party, okay?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · London · neighbors · noise

Happy Boxing Day from Passive-Aggressive Notes!

December 26th, 2009 · 44 Comments

Now, if you wouldn’t mind taking a moment out of your busy schedule of sport and/or shopping to bestow a bit of charity on those you live with?

This is a passive-aggressive note from your kitchen buddy Colin! Don't leave your disgusting food particles in the sink. That is what the trash can is for. Cheers.

(Cheers to our submitter Victoria, her mates at Oxford, and their disgusting flatties.)

related: ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

Tags: meta · roommates · that's disgusting · U.K.

Right, He just went round the corner for a quick nip.

December 25th, 2009 · 50 Comments

Writes Sara in Cardiff, Wales: “Around this time last year, I noticed that the Jesus had been stolen from this city centre church’s nativity scene. The church is surrounded by pubs and, as it can get quite messy in Cardiff on the weekend, it’s no surprise Jesus went AWOL. About a week later, the note was still up, and someone had replaced ‘Jesus’ with an old naked ragdoll.”


(And can I just repeat how much I love this Wikipedia entry? It’s the Christmas gift that keeps on giving.)

related: What if someone like you had stolen Baby Jesus’s Lean Cuisine?

extra credit: Someone stole Baby Jesus

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Christmas · holiday spirit · Jesus · Wales

Merry Christmas to one and all (except you)

December 23rd, 2009 · 62 Comments

So, has holiday time with the fam driven you to the bottle yet? Before you head out to happy hour, just remember that Christmas is no excuse for pub owners to mince words.

Just ask Finlay in Edinburgh, Scotland…

CHRISTMAS DAY Usual rules apply. Private function. Friends, family, & regulars only. "Merry Christmas to one and all" Sparky

Or Ross in Wellington, New Zealand…

Due to Udit being a douche the Cavern Club Christmas party has been cancelled.

And for the rest of us…Happy Festivus, Troublemakers! May your airing of grievances be merrily aggressive-aggressive.

related: we will be happy to service your hangover on January 1

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · New Zealand · Scotland

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Please resubmit your inquiry after it has been properly notarized. Regards, your flatmates

October 12th, 2009 · 127 Comments

S in London says his flatmate was obviously exceedingly upset about his missing can opener. Of course, this being England, the old “stiff upper lip” sometimes still prevails…sort of.

I am not sure what has happened to my expensive tin opener?

related: memorandum to the roommates

Tags: a little uptight · London · roommates

You can have the inflatable bananas

September 28th, 2009 · 100 Comments

Katie in Scotland says she found this note “stuck to a wall at about knee-height, right above a very sad-looking deflated palm tree and a bunch of deflated inflatable bananas.” Unfortunately, Katie says, “i have no idea what the back story is…but I would love to, especially as the note writer seems to be a fair bit older than 8 or 11.”

Dylan + Amy: Because you're 8 & 11, I assume you know how to read. You can have the inflatable bananas + palm tree. We don't want them. I was rude to you cause you were rude to me. 8 + 11 is quite little.

related: Desperately seeking closure

Tags: kids · U.K. · WTF?

Just a rat in a cage

September 10th, 2009 · 174 Comments

Writes Leslie in London: “My co-worker, Janine was having some serious keyboard RAGE and posted this request to our office’s online help desk, which every single person in the company can see…including Daniel.”

Can we get Daniel a quieter keyboard please? I've not said anything to anyone, but it's doing my head in.

This post is dedicated to my cube-mate Leah, who recently received a surprise “gift” — a quiet-touch keyboard — from our boss, which succeeded in making her feel even more self-conscious about her “loud typing.”

Sadly, she observed, the IT department has no solution for the cringe-inducing sound our fellow coworker who insists on clipping her nails at her desk.

related: Suck on this!

Tags: London · noise · office

Al Gore knows you’re a little tease

August 9th, 2009 · 106 Comments

Caroline sends this delightful trio of holier-than-thou notes from “a rather famous university in Scotland where many students and staff have delusions of grandeur.”

The first  note was spotted, Caroline says, while exiting a building “where many people work late and lights are almost always burning to help us find our way through the maze of corridors. I found these stuck to just about every light switch in the vicinity. Luckily, I snapped a picture as the next day they were all crumpled into balls and thrown on the floor in what i assume was a protest against sexualising light switches.”

You turned me on and left me.

(“Next time,” she adds, “I will make sure my light switch is fully satisfied before I leave.”)

The second note, Caroline says, “is posted in a building where, due to the age of the pipes, the water is filled with lead and unsafe to drink, meaning water coolers are conveniently posted on most floors. I know we are a biology building and we have to care about the environment and blah blah blah, but while we are doing our world-saving research, would it be ok if we just had a cup of water that isn’t going to kill us?” [Ed. note: Yes, the note-writer has a point.]

Here's a novel idea...

The final note is posted next to the door leading to one of the outside smoking areas. “Unfortunately,” Caroline says, “it tends to have the opposite effect than intended. Every time I see it, I find myself having to sneak one in.”

Don't even THINK about smoking.

Moral of the story this website: even if you’re on the most solid moral/ethical/logical/legal ground, writing an snotty note about it will backfire on you more often than not. [insert maniacal emoticon]

related: Al Gore knows you know drove when you could have taken your new bicycle

Tags: anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · college life · double-entendre alert · energy usage · Scotland · The Earth

Are you proud to be an American?

July 4th, 2009 · 206 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in a university flat in the U.K. with four other guys. “Three of us (myself, an American, and a Brit) always take out the garbage and recycling when it’s our turn, but the two other international students seem to think it’s somehow beneath them. There must have been some unpleasantness while i was away for Easter break, because I came home to find this note stuck to the kitchen door, courtesy of my American flatmate.”

Adds our submitter: “I particularly like his choice of symbols to emphasize America as a ruling power: the stars and stripes, a cheeseburger, and Superman.” (And then, of course, there’s the note’s tone —  remarkably in line with American foreign policy!)

are you proud to be an american?

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

related: just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad

Tags: Americans abroad · college life · misplaced patriotism · most popular notes of 2009 · recycling · roommates · U.K.