Sara says her sister in Waxhaw, North Carolina stumbled upon this personal inscription at a rummage sale of donated books.

Here’s a synopsis: Basically, our writer Robert starts out by giving himself a gold star for selecting such an “interesting” Christmas gift, then lets Leah down easy with the old “God told me I could do better” excuse, and finally peaces out with “So…see ya on christiansingles.com!”

Why Leah would want to part with such a precious gem, I have no idea.

related: The “Next to Marry” List

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I know Carl to have done exactly what she’s saying — cheat on her and lie to the girls saying he didn’t have a girlfriend. But still, a mass e-mail? Really? I’m not even on her friends list…so did she send it to his friends?” (The “k-hole,” by the way, reportedly refers to the apartment in which Carl lives.)

related: When targeted advertising on Facebook goes terribly, horribly wrong

“A few days after changing my status to single,” writes Meg in Red Deer, Alberta, “Facebook proves to be the creep I always knew it was.”

(Jordon is the ex-boyfriend.)

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your Facebook profile

I’m having a hard time deciding who in this group of geniuses most deserves a smack in the head first. To make it easier, I’m going to tell myself that Krystal is using some new kind of ironic dialect of homophone-swapping slang. And Jennalyn…well, her name is Jennalyn, and therefore I think it’s safe to assume she’s gotten the short end of the stick so far in life, so she gets a pass. But the other three?

P.S. Notice the date! (tear)

related: reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook profile

Facebook‘s new “I like this” feature doesn’t allow you to give “thumbs down” to your friends’ status updates or posted links — a boon to both the supportive, snap-cup-loving, kindergarten-teacher-types on your friends list and the die-hard passive-aggressives on your frenemies list!

The even bigger “ouch”?

related: reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook-profile
extra credit: STFU, marrieds

The icing on top here, says our submitter, is the second comment — the one from Billy. Why? Because, well, that’s the guy Slade just broke up with.

Adds our submitter: “Awkward pretty much sums it up.”

related: please pick up your dirty laundry asap