Entries Tagged as 'Grandma'

How I “did” my Grandma

September 30th, 2008 · 88 Comments

“My dear, sweet grandmother lived a long, full life and passed away recently at the age of 88,” writes Mark in Denton, Texas, but he still has the valentine his “Memaw” sent him back in 2005, during his freshman year of college.

Before the cockles of your heart get too warmed, however, take note: says Mark, “What appears at first glance to be an innocent, heartfelt valentine turned out to contain a message that pretty much sums up how she felt about me going to college a whole hour-and-a-half away, rather than the crappy local college…because apparently, that was my way of saying that my home and family just weren’t important to me.”

You will remember how you are doing me when I am gone.

On behalf of Jewish grandmas everywhere…Happy Rosh Hashanah, everyone!

related: Why is it on this night we’re like, allowed to eat carbs?

Tags: college life · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Say wha? · signed with love · Texas

Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?

April 20th, 2008 · 47 Comments

You gotta love my Grandma Cookie — she’s always looking out for my figure!

Make the matzo balls light!!

(This is why the Seder calls for the drinking of four cups of wine.)

related: too many
extra credit: our stomachs, ourselves [heeb]

Tags: animated fucking e-card · Grandma · holiday spirit

“Too many”

May 12th, 2007 · 29 Comments

This card came with a box of homemade mandelbrot from my very own passive-aggressive Jewish grandmother.

Wishing you love, joy and a good day! Enjoy but don't eat too many!!

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Grandma · hey fatty