Entries Tagged as 'Moms & Dads'

Another wacky round of “steal the bacon”

September 19th, 2009 · 109 Comments

First up: Ami in London spots the fallout over what we can only assume was an onslaught of hungry breakfast bandits.

Due to high levels of theft, we have to take bacon, cheese and sausages off sale. If you require a certain item a member of staff will get it for you. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yup, we’ve got those in the States, too…as Molly noticed at a grocery store in Ohio.

PLEASE DO NOT OPEN THE BOXES OF BACON!

Adds Molly: “Why anyone would want to take a single slice of bacon out of a box I can’t really say, but if they needed to post three notes it must have been a pressing issue.” (Um, maybe she needed a replacement underwire?) But perhaps she should have checked the lost & found first…

Is this your bacon?

Meanwhile, this Post-it (from a Mom in Florida) and its subsequent responses (from her punctuation-conscious, pork-loving children) bring to mind the oh-so-creepy phenomenon that is thoroughly documented on the stellar blog Suicide food.

Pigs do not eat bacon. Lies! They are Cannibals!

This note appears to have been written by an actual pig (at least the Orwellian kind), but it appears instead to have been penned by the young son of submitter Irsh, of the aptly named blog Daily Piglet. Irsh says she found this note taped to the laundry room door when she got home later after her son had already gone to bed. “I’m not sure why he thought I was going to eat the bacon,” she says, “but I have to admit the idea of him not talking to me was briefly appealing.”

Mom Do! Not! eat one peace [sic] of baken [sic] or I not talk to you

Happy Rosh Hashanah, everyone!

related: p.s. bacon is life
extra credit: “bacon bandit arrested”suicidefood

Tags: bacon · kids · Moms & Dads · stealing

Yeah, so your mom does live here. Point being?

August 20th, 2009 · 110 Comments

K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

sad little orphans

(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
 mom?

 "you're mom!"

 your mother = a french maid?

…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.
yeah, so your mom does live here. point being?

related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.

Tags: Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't... · your/you're

Daddy’s little smartass

August 16th, 2009 · 47 Comments

Nick in Florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” He quickly pulled out his iPhone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

I'm sorry Dad, Chelsea :)

Meanwhile, Lisa in Maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.

My Dad said change the sign so...I did :P

Sigh. Children are such a blessing!

related: and pull up your sign

Tags: car · Florida · kids · Maryland · Moms & Dads · smartass · smiley

(You know the book)

August 6th, 2009 · 188 Comments

Our submitter from Honolulu lives with two roommates…in a house that belongs to one of those roommate’s parents. (Mayday! Mayday!)

One day, apparently, mother dearest decided to come over for an unannounced visit. Surprise!

speaking of church (you know the book)

(click to enlarge)

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: cleaning · guilt trip · Hawaii · Jesus · Moms & Dads · Mother-son notes

But a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?

July 29th, 2009 · 116 Comments

Andrea in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin says her friend McKenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from Mom.

(You can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

McKenna, Happy birthday! Please shovel the front sidewalk. Thank you. I went to Madison

related: when a card just won’t do

Tags: birthday · Moms & Dads · Wisconsin

Love, Dad

July 26th, 2009 · 105 Comments

While returning a long-lost battery charger, Kaitlin’s Dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

Love, Dad
Meanwhile, Sarah in Greenville, S.C. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

busted!

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · Moms & Dads · San Francisco · signed with love · South Carolina

And those Cheetos were my baby’s yellow dye #6

June 26th, 2009 · 90 Comments

This all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (How this one got buried in my inbox for so long, I have no idea.)

It comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Chapel Hill, N.C., who notes: “In this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate HQ — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”

You are welcome!

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

extra credit: STFU, Parents

 

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · office · office fridge · preggers · runaway run-on sentences · stealing · yogurt

Subtle on the nose, with an oddly cloying finish

June 24th, 2009 · 56 Comments

Writes Devra in San Luis Obispo, California: “I’m visiting my parents in Napa, where they both work at wineries. They recently found out that I smoke cigarettes, and though I’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. My mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, so she printed out directions from Google Maps with this note written on it. I found it waiting on my bedside table when I woke up.”

They don't like strong perfume or smoke odor in tasting room :) See you! Mom

related: And pull up your pants!

Tags: Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · odor · smiley · smoking

Happy reinforcing gender stereotypes day!

June 21st, 2009 · 113 Comments

Writes Jim in Colorado: “When I attempt to cook, I typically use way too many pots, pans and utensils and sometimes tend to skip instructions. (I actually made hard-boiled eggs and set the smoke detectors off.) Anyway, the other night I made cheeseburger pie and forgot to precook the meat. I woke up the next morning and found this on the refrigerator.” </laugh track> Oh, dad!

FOOD DAD IS ALLOWED TO COOK: Hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled cheese, nuggets, pre-bagged meals, fast food, BBQ or grill, Mac + cheese, Deli stuff. FOOD DAD IS NOT ALLOWED TO COOK: Anything that requires more than 3 ingredients

related: No reading required, kids

FOOD DAD IS ALLOWED TO COOK: Hot dogs, hamburgers, grilled cheese, nuggets, pre-bagged meals, fast food, BBQ or grill, Mac + cheese, Deli stuff. FOOD DAD IS NOT ALLOWED TO COOK: Anything that requires more than 3 ingredients

Tags: food · kitchen · Moms & Dads

If she were really passive-aggressive, she’d get the fence secretly electrified

May 18th, 2009 · 170 Comments

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”

I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?

ERIC - PICK UP THE CIGARETTE BUTTS! NOW & do not piss on the fence! That is so Disrespectful to me & this house! What the hell Eric! There is a bathroom right thru the door! USE IT.

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet