Entries Tagged as 'Moms & Dads'

No Dumping Zone

January 30th, 2012 · 40 Comments

To me this sounds suspiciously like an episode of The League, but Stephen from Cherry Hill, New Jersey claims his daughter recently caught him heading into the bathroom “for a little sit-down,” laptop in hand. When five-year-old Rosie asked why Daddy was bringing his computer into the fecal mist zone, he replied, “Multi-tasking.”

A few minutes later, Rosie slipped the following note under the door. (The drawing had already been done earlier.)

What are you thinking Dad? That's a horrible thing to do.

Translation: What are you thinking Dad? That’s a horrible thing to do.

Can you really argue with her?

related: Never put nature aside for television.

Tags: Father-daughter notes · hygiene · kids · New Jersey

Daddy dearest

January 19th, 2012 · 25 Comments

Writes Virginia in Sumner, Washington: “Going through a box of old photographs in the attic, I found this birthday card I gave my father when I was five or six. I was a terrible child.”

You should spend more time with me but I love you anyway. Happy Birthday Dad

related: Some daughterly wisdom for Dad

Tags: birthday · Father-daughter notes · guilt trip · heart · kids · signed with love · xoxo

Tangled

January 4th, 2012 · 242 Comments

Julie in Milwaukee has been trying to drag her nine-year-old daughter to get a haircut for ages. The day of the planned trim, Mom found this prize bit of melodrama waiting on her bed.

Mom, Dad I love you but you can't cut my hair if you do I will never forgive you I love my hair and guess you don't love me enough to do what I want for a change [drawings:

related: A Mother’s Day Report Card

 

 

Tags: guilt trip · hair · kids · Milwaukee · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012 · visual aids

I just want to know the truth!

December 20th, 2011 · 46 Comments

Below: the first of many heartbreaking childhood disappointments to come for Kaeton’s six-year-old cousin, Laylah.

Dear moma and paw, Why didnt you tell me the tooth fairy wasn't real? Why doesn't the tooth fairy come? I asked you what the tooth fairy does with my teeth and you didn't answer me. You just nodded your head and made a funny face. I just want to know the truth! Love, Laylah.

related: Possibly the best Tooth Fairy letters of all time

extra credit: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · signed with love · Texas

How’s that for compromise?

November 29th, 2011 · 32 Comments

Bernie in Sydney recently discovered this hidden behind a painting in his parents’ house — “the passive-aggressive conclusion to a long-running argument about demolishing the kitchen wall.”

Explains Bernie: “Mum wants the wall demolished to make the kitchen nicer; Dad insists it’s impossible and unnecessary. I honestly don’t know how my parents have managed to last 25 years together.”

Danger Construction Site Impossible hole in wall to be built in this location To celebrate 25 years of marriage and constructive demolition of plasterboard walls

related: Give the gift of honesty

Tags: danger · love & marriage · Moms & Dads · Sydney

XXX, Mum

November 12th, 2011 · 88 Comments

James in the U.K. recently came home from football practice to discover that, in his absence, his mother had gotten a peek at his Internet browser history (“full of…well, I’m 15, I’m sure you can guess.”) As cool as his mum was about the whole thing, says James, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to look her in the face for a while.”

Dear James, Yes, your laptop HAS been used - I couldn't find my charger. Sorry. P.S: You should probably delete your search history - your Gran would be shocked. P.P.S: You know Internet Explorer has a mode for stuff like that, it's called Incognito Mode, I think. Happy viewing! Lots of love, Mum. XOXO

Dear James, Yes, your laptop HAS been used - I couldn't find my charger. Sorry. P.S: You should probably delete your search history - your Gran would be shocked. P.P.S: You know Internet Explorer has a mode for stuff like that, it's called Incognito Mode, I think. Happy viewing! Lots of love, Mum. XOXO

“Happy viewing”? Nicely played, Mum.

related: “Sweetie, I saw that Walgreens is having a sale on jumbo-sized rubbers, so of course I thought of you!”

Tags: "helpful" advice · Mother-son notes · Oops? · p.s. · sex sex sex · signed with love · U.K. · xoxo

Congratulations! At some point in time, through no effort of your own, you were born.

November 2nd, 2011 · 127 Comments

So, imma let you in on a little secret: nobody has any reason to give a shit about your birthday. If you’re over the age of, say, 12, and still expect people to fete your very existence every year, you should also expect to be disappointed. (Yes, I’m the Grinch of birthdays. And don’t even get me started on “birthday weeks.”)

That said, in this case our submitter actually did call her mother on the day of her birth. When Mom didn’t pick up, quick-thinking daughter left her a message. After that, our submitter says, her mother didn’t return her calls for several days — until phoning to say, “Check your e-mail.” While still on the line, our submitter did just that — and found this lovely e-card.

Thanks...a whole bunch! Thank You so much for the birthd.... Oh, wait a minute..... you didn't acknowledge my birthday... Mom

related: It’s my pity party and I’ll whine if I want to

extra credit: Half birthdays are the new black [stfuparents]

Tags: birthday · ellipses-crazed · Mother-daughter notes · thanks (but not really)

While My Magnadoodle Gently Weeps

October 25th, 2011 · 64 Comments

Dave‘s eight-year-old daughter is a huge of the Beatles…and at this moment, a not-so-huge fan of her father.

I wish cute George Harrison was my Daddy instead of you!

Dave, perhaps in a few years she’ll appreciate that, if nothing else, at least you spared her the unibrow gene?

related: Abbey Road idiots

extra credit:
passive aggressive notes to your toddler via magnadoodle

Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · most popular notes of 2011 · New York

My Other Kid Could Beat Up My Honor Student

October 19th, 2011 · 80 Comments

Writes Daniel in Oakland: “I love the tension between the ‘student of the month’ sticker on top and the totally passive-aggressive ‘every child is honored’ sticker below it.”

related: The car you drive can say a lot about you as a person.

Tags: car · Moms & Dads · Oakland · schools & teachers

Don’t be an ash-hole! Love, Mom

October 3rd, 2011 · 155 Comments

“My friends’ mom has four cigarette-smoking daughters under one roof,” says our submitter in Cleveland. “She had to reach her breaking point eventually.”

Hi All! If you

related: Love, the Landlord

Tags: Cleveland · heart · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love · smoking · unnecessary "quotation marks"