Entries Tagged as 'Moms & Dads'
When my younger brother Danny was around 6 or 7, I remember he brought home a project he’d done in school — a little book entitled “My Family,” or something like that. I don’t recall what he said about the rest of us, but on the page about our mother, he had written: “MOM BRINGS DINNER,” complete with a stick-figure drawing of her with McDonald’s bags in both hands. We all laughed about it, but I think my mother was still pretty mortified — and god only knows what his teacher thought.
Well, Mom, allow me to introduce you to Carmen: you two might be able to commiserate. When her son (who is, coincidentally, also named Daniel) was 6, his first grade teacher had the kids write little journal entries about their weekends every Monday. This was Daniel’s. (The teacher’s feedback is my favorite part.)
Carmen is quick to add that she was most definitely not “drunk” — in fact, on this particular occasion, she hadn’t had a single alcoholic beverage. But just try explaining that to the school guidance counselor…
related: Just in case you haven’t gotten your fix of working mom guilt…your kid’s preschool teacher is ready to step up!
extra credit: Red Party Cups for Classy Moms
Tags: drizzunk · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · schools & teachers
“First off,” writes submitter, who we’ll call Lorelai, “my parents and I have never, ever, ever had any kind of discussion regarding ANYTHING having to do with sex. Mostly because, well, they are my 60-something-year-old parents. And my father is my preacher.”
Today, Lorelai is a 33-year-old “volleyball-coaching, home-owning, full-time working, Girl-Scout-Troop-leading” mother of a “well-behaved, smart, friendly, athletic, violin-playing” daughter, who happens to be the product of unplanned pregnancy 11 years ago.
“Although it took my parents some time to accept the decision I made to raise her (successfully, so far!) on my own, I thought we had moved on,” our submitter says. “Apparently not. My long-distance, very serious, boyfriend will be visiting in a few days, and I guess they wanted to make their stance clear on the matter, eleven years later.”
Lorelai says the follow-up letter from her Mom clarifying to meaning of the card was even more awkward. Sample excerpt:
I guess our gesture was our way of saying ‘We love you and want you to have a healthy sex life, but be careful, because we don’t want you to be hurt like you were before.’
Adds Lorelai: “Maybe some people have this kind of relationship with their parents, but, well, I definitely don’t.”
related: Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.
Tags: holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · Ohio · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day
DeeAnne recently received this postcard from her mother, who’s vacationing in Hawaii. “After regaling me with the usual tales of beautiful scenery and exotic fauna,” says DeeAnne, “she reminded me that if only I would succumb to her 10,000th ‘hint’ to accept her friend request on Facebook — note the double underline — I too would be able to glimpse paradise.”
And yet, “as you can see, she’s forgiving enough that she’s still willing to show them to me upon her return.” (Phew.)
related: This is what happens when parents use Facebook
extra credit: Saturday Night Live, “Mom’s on Facebook”
Tags: Facebook · Hawaii · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love
Katie doesn’t remember writing this note (which she found while going through old papers of her mom’s) but says, “I do feel sorry for little 11-year-old me, having to deal with being falsely accused of *gasp* faking illness to get out of school, and then having to deal with the humiliation of public grandma affection.”
Adds Katie: “My favorite part is at the beginning where I unintentionally implied that my mother was some kind of slut. (At the time, she worked around a lot of truckers and always had funny stories about them trying to hit on her.) Also, you can totally tell that we had worked on letter-writing/dialogue skills in school recently.”
related: A thinly veiled tattletale
extra credit: “I Enjoy Being a Girl, Sort of” [This American Life]
Tags: Grandma · kids · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love
Tonya says she and her boyfriend in Charlottesville, Virginia had been living together for two years when they received this Valentine from his mother, “with the not-so-subtle implication that we should take our relationship to the next level.” Adds Tonya: “Oh, and on the inside of the card, she spelled my name wrong.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
related: The next-to-marry list
Tags: Charlottesville · guilt trip · holiday spirit · love & marriage · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Valentine's Day
Kat is currently living abroad teaching English in Japan, and although she speaks to her parents every week, that’s apparently not cutting it with her Dad, who’d prefer more detailed letters.
Rather than communicate this directly to Kat, however, Daddy dearest decided to use the family’s new kitten, Faisal, as his mouthpiece. The result? The finest in super kawaii emotional manipulation!
Now somebody get that man a wasabi-flavored Kit Kat, stat.
related: I can has guilt trip?
Tags: cats · family · Father-daughter notes · Japan
Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”
To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)
Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*
*Apologies. Bad pun intended.
related: To the person who stole my flower (sniff)
Tags: Australia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · rhetorical question · runaway run-on sentences · semicolon abuse · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children? · You call that punctuation?
Our submitter and her brother — both adults — recently received this e-mail from their mother, who’s currently traveling (thus making telephone calls difficult). What ever did empty nesters do before e-mail?
(Actually, it’s pretty easy to imagine this in telegram form — just take out the word “email” and sub in <STOP> for all those question marks.)
related: Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place.
Tags: confusion??? · e-mail · guilt trip · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · signed with love
September 22nd, 2010 · 55 Comments
So, the other day, Olivia’s mother and aunt were having a conversation, and her Mom was fretting about how she’d been overeating this week and how she was going back on her diet the very next day and blahblahblahwhydon’tgrown-upsevertalkaboutanythinginteresting.
Olivia says this inspired her eavesdropping 7-year-old sister to post this helpful reminder where their Mom gets ready in the morning, just to make sure she wouldn’t forget!
related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, pregnant lady, but have you considered Weight Watchers?
Tags: "helpful" advice · heart · hey fatty · Houston · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love
September 15th, 2010 · 58 Comments
Joe is an elementary school teacher in Long Beach, California. On the last day of summer school, he got this goodbye letter from one of his students. “It was really cute and sweet,” Joe says. “However, she does mention in the card that I am ‘not that smart.’ I asked her why she thought that, and apparently it’s because she saw me ask another teacher a question about grammar. Hilarious.”
Brandy in Citrus Heights, California received a note with a similar mixed message from her then-six-year-old daughter, who’s now 14. Really, I’m just glad just this letter wasn’t signed “love, your girlfriend.” Because that would not be cute.
related: Mommy, I love you sometimes!!!!
extra credit: So Nice, So Smart [iLike]
Tags: California · kids · Mother-daughter notes · schools & teachers · signed with love