Entries Tagged as 'Moms & Dads'

(Not) So Nice, (Not) So Smart

September 15th, 2010 · 58 Comments

Joe is an elementary school teacher in Long Beach, California. On the last day of summer school, he got this goodbye letter from one of his students. “It was really cute and sweet,” Joe says. “However, she does mention in the card that I am ‘not that smart.’ I asked her why she thought that, and apparently it’s because she saw me ask another teacher a question about grammar. Hilarious.”

You are so funny, and not that smart

Brandy in Citrus Heights, California received a note with a similar mixed message from her then-six-year-old daughter, who’s now 14. Really, I’m just glad just this letter wasn’t signed “love, your girlfriend.” Because that would not be cute.

I love you very much and you are very nice. I hope you stay with me forever and ever even though you are mean to me. I still love you! Love your daughter Ocean.

related: Mommy, I love you sometimes!!!!

extra credit: So Nice, So Smart [iLike]

Tags: California · kids · Mother-daughter notes · schools & teachers · signed with love

A thinly veiled tattletale

August 19th, 2010 · 27 Comments

While sorting through some old papers, Christina in Natick, Massachusetts was about to throw away this childhood note she had written to her Mom (and Dad too!), when her husband, Aaron, intervened. (Apparently no amount of coaxing could tease out exactly what horrible sin Paul committed, so feel free to speculate wildly.)

Dear Mom, Paul was not nice to me while you were away. I don't want to to tell you what he did because I love you very much. (Dad, too) Hope you had a good time, you know. Love, Christina P.S. Brigid is a pain right where I sit!

P.S. Hope you enjoyed it, you know.

related: Be sure to say goodbye forever

Tags: heart · kids · Moms & Dads · p.s. · siblings · signed with love

Facebook: enabling your Mom to embarrass you in new and increasingly far-reaching ways!

August 16th, 2010 · 61 Comments

Writes Natalie in Pennsylvania: “My mother (who is unfortunately on Facebook) noticed that some of my extended family had wished my twin sister happy birthday but not me.”

Although Natalie herself couldn’t care less, her mother — “a master of both e-mail networking and Jewish guilt”—  took it upon herself to write this e-mail and send it out everyone in the entire family. “And I mean EVERYONE,” Natalie says — “my cousins in Mexico got it!” [Face palm]

(If you can’t decipher the hideous font, mouse over the image for a translation.)

Dear Ones, It has come to my attention that a matter of sibling unfairness has arisen. Please do not think for a moment that I consider this to be an intentional slight by any of you. But matters that by some (or one) perceived as wronged must be put right by us all. Therefore gentle relatives you must mind your manners and know that birthday greetings to one twin on her face book page must be matched by the same greeting to the other on hers. She who hears nothing from her dear ones on the day of her rejoicing must think herself unloved and surely that is not the relative intention. Yours truly, Your Aunt, Sister and Mother

(What would Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield do? Find out in Sweet Valley High #144: Relative Intentions!)

related: Yet another reason why you shouldn’t be friends with your parents on Facebook

Tags: birthday · e-mail · etiquette · Facebook · family · guilt trip · Moms & Dads · siblings

For Sale, Cemetery Plot, Never Used

August 13th, 2010 · 47 Comments

Who knew? If you’re in the market for cemetery plots at bargain-basement prices, apparently the go-to place is…the women’s locker room at the gym. At least that’s where our submitter in East Lansing, Michigan spotted this notice (which was clearly not penned by Hemingway).

Happy “WTF?” Friday, everyone!

SAVE $1550 For Sale: One Cemetery Plot (our mother requested cremation, so we aren't using this, now) Deepdale Cemetery (Chapel Garden) If purchased today @ Deepdale, this will cost you $2195 WE WILL SELL FOR ONLY $500 (PLUS DEED TRANSFER FEE) Please Contact [redacted]

related: Please, No Breast Cancer trash!

Tags: gym · Michigan · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · WTF?

The mother-son relationship is always “special”

August 11th, 2010 · 53 Comments

At the local community centre, Isabel in Bolton, England (Home of the “White Men”) spotted this board put together by some Sunday School children entitled “My Mum is Special.” (Kudos to the teachers for allowing the kids considerable latitude in how they chose to define “special.”)

My Mum is special because...She is very forgetfull [sic] and never listens. -Jacob

related: My Mommy is special because she has a potty mouth.

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · U.K.

Stone cold crazy like a fox

August 5th, 2010 · 72 Comments

For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie).  “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”

Your [sic] doing So great. Didn't want you to Have too much, But just enough. Have a great Birthday!

related: Take this and go buy yourself a couple of scales, okay, sweetie?

Tags: Arizona · birthday · ice cream · irregular capitalization · Mothers-in-Law · your/you're

No more dipping into the day care baby dippers

August 4th, 2010 · 113 Comments

“Typically, the people at my son’s day care just tell me when he’s running low on diapers or they write a note on his daily progress report,” says Lindsey in Peoria, Illinois. “Last time I forgot, and he had to use a few of theirs. I guess this was his teacher’s passive-aggressive [Ed. note: AND TOTALLY CREEPY] way of ensuring that I’d remember this time.”

(It worked.)

NEED MORE

related: Is your babysitter trying to get in your kid’s pants?

Tags: Illinois · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads

Some daughterly wisdom for Dad, on Father’s Day

June 20th, 2010 · 33 Comments

In lieu of a Father’s Day gift, Sarah in D.C. says her 13-year-old cousin posted this note on the front door of their house the night before, so her Dad could see it when got up this morning for her Sunday walk. “According to her, it’s the thought that counts anyway,” Sarah says. “I thought it was really sweet, but the post script is the best.”

DEAR DADDY: Happy Father's Day! Thanks for all. I'll study hard, don't worry, and I don't have any plans of having a boyfriend. Love lots, [redacted 13-year-old daughter] P.S. Practice controlling your anger dad, mwa! :)

related: Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day!

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love

Dear Dad, I hate you less than the other parental unit. Happy Father’s Day!

June 17th, 2010 · 57 Comments

“My daughter is six and hyper after school,” writes Shannon in Jacksonville, North Carolina. “One day, I told her to go outside and play, but she wanted to watch TV.” Later, while cooking dinner, Shannon found this Magna-doodled on the fridge.

I love Daddy more than you Mom

After being forced into a similar “bad cop” role, Maria in Long Beach, California found this message from her nine-year-old son on the patio.

I like dad better

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania found this in a journal her nine-year-old daughter was throwing away. Interestingly, she says, “There was no ‘I HATE daddy’ written on the next page.”

The next page that says I HATE Daddy isn't true at all.

related: Daddy’s little smartass

 

Tags: Father-daughter notes · kids · Moms & Dads

A few choice words from Mom

June 8th, 2010 · 76 Comments

Mothers truly skilled in the art of passive-aggression don’t need much to make their feelings known.

Just ask Rachel in Boston, who recently finished a three-semester master’s program a few months later than expected. “My mom was less than thrilled that my nine classmates finished on time while I struggled to edit my final paper,” Rachel says. “When I finally finished, we had a small graduation party, and she presented me with this gem of a cake.”

Finally! Rachel

Meanwhile, writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “My mother has a bit of a ‘thing’ against any sort of carbonated beverage and constantly refers to diet soda as ‘the devil’s brew.’ I recently bought a little pack of the mini-cans of Diet Coke, and left one on the computer desk. After arriving home one evening, I found that my mother had kindly re-labeled one of my empty cans for me.”

Little can of poisonous chemicals

In recognition of this particular skill, Amazon.com has apparently farmed out the writing of their suggested “PayPhrases” to stay-at-home Moms across the country…as Jessica in California noticed, on a double-take.

Express Checkout with PayPhrase: "Jessica's Brief Relationships"

related: Is your blog kid-tested, Mom-approved?

Tags: Boston · cake · Diet Coke · Madison · Moms & Dads