Entries Tagged as 'family'

The most inane thing since sliced bread

September 8th, 2010 · 76 Comments

Really, folks? You share a kitchen and a bathroom, and this is all you’ve got to complain about?

::sigh:: White bread problems…

This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in a fridge. You can't REFRIDGERATE [sic] TOAST!

Matt if you crinkle anymore [sic] bread I will put those pieces in your bed :)

(Thanks to Sarah Jane in Australia and Michelle in Canada for submitting!)

related: Is this a thing now?

extra credit: Toasted Toast Post-it Notes [Amazon.com]

Tags: Australia · bread · roommates · siblings · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Waterloo

A thinly veiled tattletale

August 19th, 2010 · 27 Comments

While sorting through some old papers, Christina in Natick, Massachusetts was about to throw away this childhood note she had written to her Mom (and Dad too!), when her husband, Aaron, intervened. (Apparently no amount of coaxing could tease out exactly what horrible sin Paul committed, so feel free to speculate wildly.)

Dear Mom, Paul was not nice to me while you were away. I don't want to to tell you what he did because I love you very much. (Dad, too) Hope you had a good time, you know. Love, Christina P.S. Brigid is a pain right where I sit!

P.S. Hope you enjoyed it, you know.

related: Be sure to say goodbye forever

Tags: heart · kids · Moms & Dads · p.s. · siblings · signed with love

Facebook: enabling your Mom to embarrass you in new and increasingly far-reaching ways!

August 16th, 2010 · 61 Comments

Writes Natalie in Pennsylvania: “My mother (who is unfortunately on Facebook) noticed that some of my extended family had wished my twin sister happy birthday but not me.”

Although Natalie herself couldn’t care less, her mother — “a master of both e-mail networking and Jewish guilt”—  took it upon herself to write this e-mail and send it out everyone in the entire family. “And I mean EVERYONE,” Natalie says — “my cousins in Mexico got it!” [Face palm]

(If you can’t decipher the hideous font, mouse over the image for a translation.)

Dear Ones, It has come to my attention that a matter of sibling unfairness has arisen. Please do not think for a moment that I consider this to be an intentional slight by any of you. But matters that by some (or one) perceived as wronged must be put right by us all. Therefore gentle relatives you must mind your manners and know that birthday greetings to one twin on her face book page must be matched by the same greeting to the other on hers. She who hears nothing from her dear ones on the day of her rejoicing must think herself unloved and surely that is not the relative intention. Yours truly, Your Aunt, Sister and Mother

(What would Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield do? Find out in Sweet Valley High #144: Relative Intentions!)

related: Yet another reason why you shouldn’t be friends with your parents on Facebook

Tags: birthday · e-mail · etiquette · Facebook · family · guilt trip · Moms & Dads · siblings

For Sale, Cemetery Plot, Never Used

August 13th, 2010 · 47 Comments

Who knew? If you’re in the market for cemetery plots at bargain-basement prices, apparently the go-to place is…the women’s locker room at the gym. At least that’s where our submitter in East Lansing, Michigan spotted this notice (which was clearly not penned by Hemingway).

Happy “WTF?” Friday, everyone!

SAVE $1550 For Sale: One Cemetery Plot (our mother requested cremation, so we aren't using this, now) Deepdale Cemetery (Chapel Garden) If purchased today @ Deepdale, this will cost you $2195 WE WILL SELL FOR ONLY $500 (PLUS DEED TRANSFER FEE) Please Contact [redacted]

related: Please, No Breast Cancer trash!

Tags: gym · Michigan · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · WTF?

The mother-son relationship is always “special”

August 11th, 2010 · 53 Comments

At the local community centre, Isabel in Bolton, England (Home of the “White Men”) spotted this board put together by some Sunday School children entitled “My Mum is Special.” (Kudos to the teachers for allowing the kids considerable latitude in how they chose to define “special.”)

My Mum is special because...She is very forgetfull [sic] and never listens. -Jacob

related: My Mommy is special because she has a potty mouth.

Tags: kids · Moms & Dads · U.K.

Stone cold crazy like a fox

August 5th, 2010 · 72 Comments

For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie).  “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”

Your [sic] doing So great. Didn't want you to Have too much, But just enough. Have a great Birthday!

related: Take this and go buy yourself a couple of scales, okay, sweetie?

Tags: Arizona · birthday · ice cream · irregular capitalization · Mothers-in-Law · your/you're

No more dipping into the day care baby dippers

August 4th, 2010 · 113 Comments

“Typically, the people at my son’s day care just tell me when he’s running low on diapers or they write a note on his daily progress report,” says Lindsey in Peoria, Illinois. “Last time I forgot, and he had to use a few of theirs. I guess this was his teacher’s passive-aggressive [Ed. note: AND TOTALLY CREEPY] way of ensuring that I’d remember this time.”

(It worked.)

NEED MORE

related: Is your babysitter trying to get in your kid’s pants?

Tags: Illinois · kinda creepy · Moms & Dads

Exes and Ohs

July 29th, 2010 · 111 Comments

It all started when Erin in Toronto sent her uncle a Christmas card. Actually, scratch that — it all started three years ago, at Erin’s wedding, the last time Erin actually saw her uncle in person.

Before the wedding, Erin explains, “Linda (my uncle’s girlfriend) RSVP’d that she’d attend, and then then didn’t bother to show up, meaning we had to pay for her meal anyway.” (Not that she’s bitter about that or anything!) “Since then,” Erin says, “I assumed they had broken up and have addressed the annual Christmas card to just my uncle and cousin.”

Now, while that might sound a bit hasty (or even, dare I say…passive-aggressive),  in Erin’s defense, the Christmas cards she received were only signed by her uncle and cousin — this year’s included. And yet, in what appears to be a last-minute back-of-the-envelope calculation, “Linda chose this year to remind me that she was still kicking around,” Erin says.

Hi Erin! In case you weren't aware I live here as well (13 years). Thanks! Linda

On the flip side of things, receiving mail addressed to one’s ex can be a disturbing experience as well. I’d say this intercepted message speaks for itself.

Nancy cheated on her husband while he was deployed to Iraq and no longer lives at this address. Return to sender.

related: There are NO pre-paid legal executives (OR FEMALES!) living here!

Tags: Christmas · ex drama · family · going postal · Oops? · Texas · Toronto · weddings and bridezillas

The firstborn, dethroned

July 26th, 2010 · 67 Comments

I think it’s actually pretty amazing how Kathy‘s six-year-old daughter — feeling a wee bit neglected now that there’s a baby brother on the scene — has managed to capture the love/hate essence of the “I’m no longer an only child” crisis in words, however adorably misspelled. (As the oldest of four kids myself, my mother will never let me forget that my method of expressing those feelings — temper tantrums — was considerably less cute.)

Do not come in.  I never get [attention].  Thank you.  Love Samantha. [Only] come in if you give me [attention.]

related: Sibling rivalry, the rift that keeps on giving

extra credit: “Does Birth Order Matter?” [nytimes.com]

Tags: family · kids · New Hampshire · siblings · signed with love

Sibling rivalry: the rift that keeps on giving

July 8th, 2010 · 41 Comments

Catie in Indianapolis was over at the house of her boyfriend’s family’s house when she spied this adorable-looking note on the fridge. Upon further investigation, she learned it was written by her boyfriend’s 7-year-old niece as a gift to her grandparents. Adds Catie: “I saw these girls in action over the weekend, and I think the fourth line actually overstates her feelings for her sisters.”

I love [Grandma] I love Mommy. I love Daddy. I like my sisters. I love [Grandpa].

I only hope the kid’s family holds on to her note until she’s old enough to be embarrassed/amused by her young self. As it happens, Sarah in Waco, Texas recently had the opportunity to do just that.

While cleaning out boxes after her grandmother passed away, she stumbled upon a thank you note she had written to her grandparents years earlier. (“In my defense,” Sarah says, “my brother never did write his own thank you note.”)

Dear Gramp and Gran, Thank you for the $20 (twonty) [sic] dollars you have me and Scotty. I don't know when Scott is making a Thank you note. Lots of Love, Sarah Lake (Wally's dauter [sic])

related: Dear Mommy, I love you…sometimes.

Tags: family · Indianapolis · nice stationery · siblings · signed with love · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Texas