“My daughter is six and hyper after school,” writes Shannon in Jacksonville, North Carolina. “One day, I told her to go outside and play, but she wanted to watch TV.” Later, while cooking dinner, Shannon found this Magna-doodled on the fridge.

After being forced into a similar “bad cop” role, Maria in Long Beach, California found this message from her nine-year-old son on the patio.

Meanwhile, our submitter in Pennsylvania found this in a journal her nine-year-old daughter was throwing away. Interestingly, she says, “There was no ‘I HATE daddy’ written on the next page.”

related: Daddy’s little smartass

Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!

Mothers truly skilled in the art of passive-aggression don’t need much to make their feelings known.

Just ask Rachel in Boston, who recently finished a three-semester master’s program a few months later than expected. “My mom was less than thrilled that my nine classmates finished on time while I struggled to edit my final paper,” Rachel says. “When I finally finished, we had a small graduation party, and she presented me with this gem of a cake.”

Meanwhile, writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “My mother has a bit of a ‘thing’ against any sort of carbonated beverage and constantly refers to diet soda as ‘the devil’s brew.’ I recently bought a little pack of the mini-cans of Diet Coke, and left one on the computer desk. After arriving home one evening, I found that my mother had kindly re-labeled one of my empty cans for me.”

In recognition of this particular skill, Amazon.com has apparently farmed out the writing of their suggested “PayPhrases” to stay-at-home Moms across the country…as Jessica in California noticed, on a double-take.

related: Is your blog kid-tested, Mom-approved?

Emily says her parents in Massachusetts recently dug out this note from the family archives, written when Emily was six. (She’s now a high school English teacher.)

“None of us have any recollection of the circumstances surrounding it,” Emily says, “but my mother must have done something pretty awful to warrant such a melodramatic note, my six-year-old rage boiling just below the surface.”

Adds Emily: “Given my use of the word ‘steepping,’ I also apparently confused my parents with bags of tea.”

related: My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Parents

So, KC in Washington, D.C. has a blog, which her mother reads and finds “somewhat amusing, to an extent.” Not everything KC writes meets with Mom’s approval, however.

“She never lectures me,” KC says. “Instead, she post-it notes her grievances and puts them in places I have no other choice but to look at” — a Kix cereal box, for example. (Which I have to admit, I find pretty goddamn adorable.)

related: Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right.

Thank you, Mom, for really trying to not say cuss words around me.

Sara in Easton, Maryland received this mother’s day card made by her 7-year-old daughter in school. “Yes, I sometimes have a potty mouth,” Sara says, “but I’m working on it, dammit! I just hope her teacher didn’t judge me too harshly…”

Meanwhile, Allison in Columbia, South Carolina found this sad little bookmark in a public library book. (An Amy Tan novel, naturally.)

related: Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place.

Katie in Oklahoma City was cleaning out a box of wedding memorabilia when she rediscovered this note from her mother, written just after she paid for Katie’s wedding dress.

Although I know a lot of brides who would have immediately ripped this card (and the enclosed check) to bits, Katie accepted the gift with impressively good humor. “I found it funny,” she says, “because it’s just the way my Mom is. She signed my Dad’s name too, but it’s from her…just her.”

“Oh, and just FYI,” Katie adds, “I think I weighed 115 pounds at the time this note was written.”

related: Loose lips shrink hips?

extra credit: We hope there’s a Borg scale for every bride! [LIFE magazine, 1961]

One Saturday, John was in the basement watching the end of a football game when his 8-year-old daughter came down to ask when they’d be leaving for the beach. Just another 20 minutes or so, he told her.

“Eventually, the game ended and we went out,” John says. “But when I went to bed that night, I found this note sitting on my pillow. The tragedy of it all, combined with the warning — and offset by the pretty border and the flower — really make for a lovely package.”

related: Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid

“My 1-year-old likes to play with hair when she’s sleepy,” writes Michelle in Columbia, South Carolina…a habit which apparently didn’t go over so well at day care with the fair-haired Ms. Linda. [Hahahaha RAGE BLACKOUT emoticon!!!!]

related: We talked about the “stabbing” incident yesterday.