Entries Tagged as 'family'

The joys of motherhood

March 2nd, 2010 · 141 Comments

Writes Sarah: “This note was written to me after I told my seven-year-old daughter to go to her room until she felt like being nice. I’m still trying to figure out what she really feels. Was it love mingled with regret…or slathering me with goodness in hopes of ending the misery in her room? Somehow I still think she meant what she originally said. Motherhood rocks!!!!”

I <3 U Mommy Dear Mom, You are my favorit [sic] mommy ever. I'm sorry for calling you a piece of poo. And I hate you and not going to my room. I love you Mommy  Love, your dauttre [sic] Karah

Meanwhile, Laura in California writes: ”My six-year-old daughter misbehaved at school, so she couldn’t go to the harvest festival. This didn’t go over well, so she wrote me this threatening note. When I laughed, she took it back to add ‘I (am) serious.’”

No luving Maggie in less you let me go I serious am

And it’s not just the girls. Liev in Gainesville, Georgia received this from her six-year-old son when — while trying to get dinner on the table for five kids clamoring for her attention — she had to tell him she did not have time to look at his latest Lego creation right this second. “This is his drawing of me yelling at him. The thing above him is his broken heart.”

The joys of motherhood

related: Mad, but not made enough to forego a French braid

Tags: art · heart · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · spelling and grammar police

Spoken like someone who has never tried to take a one-year-old shopping

February 15th, 2010 · 307 Comments

Alex and his wife, Kathy, have an 18-month-old son who, among other his hobbies, enjoys pulling off his socks and shoes at any opportunity. (Perhaps he’s a future marathon-running superathlete. Or, you know, a normal 18-month-old.)

Recently, Kathy took her son with her on a trip to the store in their hometown of Las Vegas (temperature: a bone-chilling 64 degrees). When she came back to the car, she found this helpful bit of parenting advice waiting on her windshield.

How can you bring your kids out without shoes or socks!! It's not summer!! I see you have on shoes socks + long sleeves! Stop being a lazy ass mom!!

related: Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · Moms & Dads · shoes · unsolicited feedback

Socializing: You’re doing it wrong

February 10th, 2010 · 105 Comments

You know how it’s usually way easier to write off someone off as an annoying asshole than it is to feel sorry for them? But then something happens — like this whiteboard note — and suddenly, you feel like the asshole…but you still resent the person for making you feel that way. And now it’s just awkward all around, because that person doesn’t want pity from an asshole like you, anyway. Sigh.

My parents think I am not being social enough. I have LOTS of chocolate. The ball is in your court now!

This note makes me sad, so I will choose to deal with these uncomfortable feelings by blaming the parents, even though I know that isn’t fair either. Now I feel sorry for the parents, too. Okay, I’m going to look at more pictures from the Puppy Bowl now.

related: Your one and only Wife #1

Tags: bad sales pitch · college life · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · whiteboard

They need time to clean up the meth lab in the garage, after all.

February 4th, 2010 · 59 Comments

It’s almost Valentine’s day, and yet the Christmas guilt trips keep rolling in! Savanna in Texas says her friend received this doozy of a card from her parents (the front of which said, “Joy to the World.”)

Come see us — and don't surprise us — warn us — but come! Soon before we die.

related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · WTF?

Just in case you haven’t gotten your daily fix of working-mom guilt…

January 28th, 2010 · 218 Comments

“During the past few weeks, our  preschool-aged son has been trying to play games that are too violent for his classmates,” Juli says. “We’ve been trying to work on the problem with the teacher, but each morning’s drop-off has become a guilt and angst-filled time for me, in part because I can tell the teacher is trying to be nice but is so obviously annoyed by my child that I can’t control!”

(No need for siding with “team preschool teacher” or “team mom,” here — this kind of relationship is just emotionally fraught no matter how you slice it.)

Eric and his friends had fun playing zookeeper outside today!

And of course, the guilt doesn’t stop there. Jennifer in St. Cloud, Minnesota, found this note in her son’s lunchbox (along with most of a ham sandwich).

The Montessori Method of Passive-Aggression

related: This is all about the childern.

Tags: guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · smiley

Theo(logical) fallacy

January 26th, 2010 · 185 Comments

Joel in Glendale, California was raised in a religious Christian family, and apparently someone let it slip to his grandmother (bless her heart!) that he’s — gasp!— an atheist. Aaaaand…let the backhanded compliments begin!

Dear Joel, I have heard that you say you're an athesis [sic]. I don't believe that because you have so many Christian qualities. You are honest, loyal, kind and giving- not to mention handsome and extremely talented. (Now —Those are gifts from God!) Please use this check to have a great New Years day Breakfast.

Dear Joel, I have heard that you say you’re an athesis [sic]. I don’t believe that because you have so many Christian qualities. You are honest, loyal, kind and giving- not to mention handsome and extremely talented. (Now —Those are gifts from God!) Please use this check to have a great New Years day Breakfast.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

Adds Joel: “I’d like to point out that she mailed me this check for $20 after I asked her not to send me money and she promised she wouldn’t. Lying isn’t very Christian, Grandma!”

related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)

Tags: a little patronizing · family · Grandma · Jesus · old folks

Mad, but not mad enough to forego a French braid

January 17th, 2010 · 45 Comments

Claire and her mom found this relic of childhood while going through a filing cabinet over Christmas. “Neither of us know what prompted it,” Claire says, “though apparently I was mad enough about something to write her this note, but not mad enough to go to bed without her telling me goodnight. Boy, was I one passive-aggressive 11-year-old!”

Dear Mom, I want to inform you that I am not feeling like I want to talk to you so please just say goodnite then remember I will be up early so you can do my hair. Sincerly, Claire

related: I’ll have you know


Tags: Christmas · Houston · kids · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes

Honey bunches of “hands off!”

January 13th, 2010 · 111 Comments

“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.

Grace:  Since you are not capable of properly closing a cereal box, please pick another selection for breakfast (yogurt, breakfast bar, fruit) until further notice. [Stepmom]

Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?

related: cereal killer

Tags: cereal · food · Michigan · Moms & Dads

Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right.

December 21st, 2009 · 136 Comments

Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”

Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)

Honey, I wish you wouldn't post such negative comments on Facebook. They come off kind of nasty and you're such a pretty girl.  Life's a bitch and we all have to deal with it so try to be more positive. Love, Mom

related: Living with an adolescent, abridged

Tags: e-mail · Facebook · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · signed with love · unsolicited feedback

Stuff this in your stocking, sister.

December 20th, 2009 · 131 Comments

Gift-giving is what makes Christmas the passive-aggressive’s favorite time of year. It’s a priceless opportunity to show your friends and family how you really feel about them…with a bow on top!

These notecards are for writing nice notes to your sisters

A gift of organization for your un-organized soul

related: putting the “x” in “x-mas”

Tags: Christmas · family · holiday spirit