Entries Tagged as 'family'

Thanks for the geography lesson, Dad!

November 2nd, 2009 · 147 Comments

Our anonymous submitter from Chicago says she and her four siblings recently received this somewhat cryptic e-mail from dear old dad.

Explains A: “The initials refer to our names (and spouses’ names, where applicable). Dad lives in West Bloomfield. I’m pretty sure it means he wants us to visit?”

thanks for the geography lesson, dad!

related: love, Dad

Tags: e-mail · Father-daughter notes · guilt trip · Illinois · Moms & Dads

Another wacky round of “steal the bacon”

September 19th, 2009 · 109 Comments

First up: Ami in London spots the fallout over what we can only assume was an onslaught of hungry breakfast bandits.

Due to high levels of theft, we have to take bacon, cheese and sausages off sale. If you require a certain item a member of staff will get it for you. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Yup, we’ve got those in the States, too…as Molly noticed at a grocery store in Ohio.

PLEASE DO NOT OPEN THE BOXES OF BACON!

Adds Molly: “Why anyone would want to take a single slice of bacon out of a box I can’t really say, but if they needed to post three notes it must have been a pressing issue.” (Um, maybe she needed a replacement underwire?) But perhaps she should have checked the lost & found first…

Is this your bacon?

Meanwhile, this Post-it (from a Mom in Florida) and its subsequent responses (from her punctuation-conscious, pork-loving children) bring to mind the oh-so-creepy phenomenon that is thoroughly documented on the stellar blog Suicide food.

Pigs do not eat bacon. Lies! They are Cannibals!

This note appears to have been written by an actual pig (at least the Orwellian kind), but it appears instead to have been penned by the young son of submitter Irsh, of the aptly named blog Daily Piglet. Irsh says she found this note taped to the laundry room door when she got home later after her son had already gone to bed. “I’m not sure why he thought I was going to eat the bacon,” she says, “but I have to admit the idea of him not talking to me was briefly appealing.”

Mom Do! Not! eat one peace [sic] of baken [sic] or I not talk to you

Happy Rosh Hashanah, everyone!

related: p.s. bacon is life
extra credit: “bacon bandit arrested”suicidefood

Tags: bacon · kids · Moms & Dads · stealing

My condolences on your birthday

September 16th, 2009 · 116 Comments

Daniel is Montreal says his dear grandmother sent him this card in the mail for his birthday. The front of the card (which didn’t scan very well) says: It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.

Well, says Daniel, “that and guilt.”

Hope I get to see the both of you before the year is over. Love, Grandma

related: Dear Grandma — thanks, I guess; How I “did” my grandma

Tags: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Montreal · old folks · signed with love

Yeah, so your mom does live here. Point being?

August 20th, 2009 · 110 Comments

K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

sad little orphans

(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
 mom?

 "you're mom!"

 your mother = a french maid?

…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.
yeah, so your mom does live here. point being?

related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.

Tags: Moms & Dads · p.s. · signed with love · smiley · Your mother doesn't... · your/you're

Daddy’s little smartass

August 16th, 2009 · 47 Comments

Nick in Florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” He quickly pulled out his iPhone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

I'm sorry Dad, Chelsea :)

Meanwhile, Lisa in Maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.

My Dad said change the sign so...I did :P

Sigh. Children are such a blessing!

related: and pull up your sign

Tags: car · Florida · kids · Maryland · Moms & Dads · smartass · smiley

(You know the book)

August 6th, 2009 · 188 Comments

Our submitter from Honolulu lives with two roommates…in a house that belongs to one of those roommate’s parents. (Mayday! Mayday!)

One day, apparently, mother dearest decided to come over for an unannounced visit. Surprise!

speaking of church (you know the book)

(click to enlarge)

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: cleaning · guilt trip · Hawaii · Jesus · Moms & Dads · Mother-son notes

Startin’ young

August 3rd, 2009 · 87 Comments

Shortly after the birth of her new nephew (a.k.a “Gee-Gee-Boo”), Liz in Waltham, Mass. received this note (channeling grandmothers everywhere) from the precocious 7-year-old daughter of her other sister. Writes Liz: “I love that she is simultaneously trying to guilt trip me into having a kid while not-so-subtly hinting that Baby G should move up to the Boston area.”

Liz you are the Best aunt that does not have a baby.

Meanwhile, an eight-year-old in San Marcos, California is also finding a good use for those “friendly letter” skills he learned in school.

Dear Chloe, NICE GOING GETTING ME IN TROUBLE EARLIER!!!!!!!! Sincerely, Matt

related: P.P.S. do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly?

Tags: family · guilt trip · kids · signed with love

But a mother’s love is the best gift of all…right?

July 29th, 2009 · 116 Comments

Andrea in Beaver Dam, Wisconsin says her friend McKenna woke up on her 19th birthday to find this note on the counter from Mom.

(You can tell it’s heartfelt because of the underlining.)

McKenna, Happy birthday! Please shovel the front sidewalk. Thank you. I went to Madison

related: when a card just won’t do

Tags: birthday · Moms & Dads · Wisconsin

Love, Dad

July 26th, 2009 · 105 Comments

While returning a long-lost battery charger, Kaitlin’s Dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

Love, Dad
Meanwhile, Sarah in Greenville, S.C. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

busted!

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · Moms & Dads · San Francisco · signed with love · South Carolina

Dear Grandma: Thanks, I guess.

July 8th, 2009 · 253 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”

(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)

Thanks, I guess.

Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.

Ever-gracious Grandma

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

Tags: birthday · Canada · Grandma · martyr complex · Ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo