Entries Tagged as 'family'
For their daughter’s first birthday, Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt decided it would be fun to throw a casual little backyard get-together at their home in Rochester, Minnesota.
Like the good church-going Minnesotans they are, the Schmidts sent out this e-mail invite to their small-ish congregation of about 200 people, expecting maybe 20 or 30 to stop by for some cake.
Hello St. Luke’s family! Madeleine turns ONE on 8/8/8! To celebrate, she’s hosting her very own backyard tea party on Saturday, August 9th at 1:00 p.m. No gifts necessary – your presence is present enough. We hope you and your family will join us as we celebrate the first of many fun birthdays with our little princess. If you have a moment, please RSVP to so we know how many cucumber sandwiches to make.
Mr. Schmidt happens to be the local TV weatherman, but neither of the Schmidts could have predicted the outraged response they received by mail a few days later (unsigned, with no return address).
Adds Mrs. Schmidt: “We have no clue who sent it, and decided we’d have to laugh it off or go crazy trying to figure it out…so I’m doing my own passive-aggressive act and posting it here.”
related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate
Tags: birthday · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · Minnesota · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2008 · spelling and grammar police
Where do you suppose this “anomous” Tampa, Florida resident stands on the whole nature-vs.-nurture debate?
Interested? here’s a free preview!
related: Your to lazy
Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · gloriously redundant · irregular capitalization · kids today · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2008 · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · Tampa · the lawn · unnecessary "quotation marks"
Nadia received this letter from her boyfriend’s cousin, Amy, who recently relocated with her boyfriend from Saskatoon to Victoria, B.C…and have been shacking up with Nadia and her boyfriend even since. Over the past month, roomie relations have become a bit strained, to say the least.
“We had to send a stray cat she was harboring to a friend’s house temporarily (my allergies were killing me),” Nadia says, and Amy proceeded to pout for three days straight. A minor-blow out ensued, which was then followed by this untitled composition. Nadia and her boyfriend are scheduled to move out on Wednesday.
Adds Nadia: “A friend of mine (a B.A. in professional writing and linguistics) and I (a high school science and math teacher with a zoology degree and a B.Ed.) corrected all of the mistakes in the letter.” Then, fighting ire with ire, they posted it on the fridge.
related: Nice move
Tags: "helpful" advice · Canada · family · p.s. · roommates · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR
Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…
Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.
related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!
Tags: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR
The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.
Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago
Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas
Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update
Exhibit d) stating the obvious
related: No offense! (just kidding) No worries! (just kidding)
Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · Facebook · garbage · ice · Moms & Dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard
“Living with your parents while still in college has it’s benefits (saving money and all) but it also has its drawbacks,” writes Laura in Springfield, Missouri. Primarily…boundaries.
“My parents regularly grab my mail and put it in a compartment on a desk in our kitchen, which I don’t always check,” Laura explains. Sometime shortly after Christmas, Laura’s mother left her daughter a thank-you note. (An oddly formal gesture, but at least she didn’t actually lick a stamp and mail it first.)
The trouble arose several weeks later, when Mom discovered the note — still unopened — mixed in with Laura’s other mail. Her reaction? Another note, of course.
On that note…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!
related: I can has guilt trip?
Tags: going postal · Missouri · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes · Springfield · thanks but no thanks
You gotta love my Grandma Cookie — she’s always looking out for my figure!
(This is why the Seder calls for the drinking of four cups of wine.)
related: too many
extra credit: our stomachs, ourselves [heeb]
Tags: animated fucking e-card · Grandma · holiday spirit
Writes Bailey in Oklahoma: “My nine-year-old brother hung the original note on his door when I came home from college for Christmas. After I laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. When I walked in anyway, he yelled, “Didn’t you see the sign?!?’ I can’t believe I’m being patronized by a third-grader.”
(Don’t worry, Bailey, you’re not the only one.)
related: No kids allowed!
Tags: battle of the sexes · kids · siblings · visual aids
After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.
The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”
“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.
related: Cleaning party!
Tags: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought
Writes Jake in Los Angeles: “At home for Christmas (in Greenville, South Carolina) I mentioned in passing that I would ‘try’ to make it home for Easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat ham.”
Jake’s mom, bless her heart, didn’t get the memo.
related: Too many
Tags: guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · South Carolina · southern charm