Writes our anonymous submitter: “Unable to visit my mother last year for Mother’s Day, my partner and I sent her a box of chocolate truffles and an antique brooch. This is her ‘thank you’ note (which is really more like a ‘fuck you’ note).”

The final “fuck you,” of course, is the nearly indecipherable handwriting. Here’s the transcription:

Looked forward to seeing you on Mother’s day. In Lieu of such optimism I enjoyed the truffles as fattening as they are + the pin is very attractive. Thanks. Love, Mom

related: I can has guilt trip?

Writes Halley in Idaho: “Yeahhh, that’s my mom and my grandpa right there. (This is what happens when old people join Facebook.)”

related: Busted by Facebook
extra credit: Facebook embroidery

“My co-worker had a ‘meet our bundle of joy’ party in a common space of his apartment building,” says our anonymous submitter in New York City, and these notes were peppered throughout the space. ”Not only did I opt out of ‘touching’ their baby, I also passed on digging into the bowl of Ruffles.”

Meanwhile, as Carson in Atlanta points out, someone else has channeled that parental germaphobia into a bona fide business!

related: this is all about the childern

extra credit: “Maybe You Touched Your Genitals” Liquid Soap

Victoria in Foster city, California, says her brother taped this note to one of the kitchen cabinets in their mother’s house after her boyfriend took his own frozen chicken out of little brother’s grasp the night before. (Just to clarify that mess of pronouns: it was Victoria’s boyfriend’s chicken. Not that it really matters.)

“He’s 17 and constantly PMS-ing and thinks he has reign of the house,” Victoria says of her brother. So, in response, Victoria did whatever any older sibling does when a parent tells you to suck it up and act your age. (Namely: exactly the opposite.)

related: no girls allowed

My Grandma Cookie is 85 today! Won’t you join me in wishing her love, joy and a good day?

And please, she’s got early bird reservations at the hibachi restaurant at 6 p.m. (Florida time, natch), so step on it, won’tcha?

related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

extra credit: The Blue Mountain Arts e-card from Grandma Cookie that my brother Danny “forgot” to pick up

Amy spotted this attached to a mailbox in Monroe, North Carolina. Writes amy:  “I have no idea which flower it was (there were many that were still left on the porch), but I was impressed by the effort the victim took with this note — it was written on poster board and left up for quite a few days.”

(And the posterboard…was a birthday gift…purchased with her own money!!!)

related: “no” questions asked

Writes Ashley in Thousand Oaks, California: “A few years ago, my grandmother and I were sharing a bathroom, and sometimes I would use her towels. One day I opened the drawer and found this note. Of course, I had to take a picture!”

And then…well, then there’s this.

related: How I “did” my grandma

“My family moved out of the house we grew up in seven years ago, and our old neighbor sent us this Christmas card,” writes Gloria in Los Angeles. (Gloria herself seems to have made a particularly strong impression.)

Meanwhile, in Providence, R.I., Jessica’s aunt seems to be doing her best to put the “X” in “X-mas.”

related: two birds with one snowman