Entries Tagged as 'family'

The Mom with the Reindeer Tattoo

December 24th, 2013 · 58 Comments

Writing Persephone in New Hampshire: “My father and I have a habit of snatching the Christmas cookies. I guess this year my mom had had enough.”

DO NOT TOUCH or Santa Claus will have 6 elves with halitosis read Norwegian crime novels to you as you are tied to a dyspeptic reindeer...I wouldn't chance it if I were you!

P.S. Yes, Stieg Larsson is Swedish…but titling this post “Blood on Snow” just seemed a little too dark.

related: Mad Santa

Tags: Christmas · Moms & Dads · touching

Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have.

December 10th, 2013 · 76 Comments

Victoria in Maryland received this heartwarming card from her mother a few years ago. (“She was mad because I put an end to her partying in the garage at my house.”)

Just out of obligation, Mom

related: More birthday mama drama!

Tags: birthday · Mother-daughter notes · way harsh

Grandma, this is not your house!

October 2nd, 2013 · 78 Comments

Precious in Texas says that whenever her mother comes over to visit, “all she wants to do is clean my messy house.” One day, Precious says, her daughter, Allison — along with Allison’s 5-year-old cousin — decided to take matters into their own hands, writing this warning and handing it to their grandma “fast mail.” As for Grandma’s response, says Precious, “I had to read it to her because she was laughing so hard.”

Dear grandma this is not your house so stop cleaning it or else we will lock you in a safe and open it the day after. Did you like my [choice] of fast mail? P.S. Send the envelope back I don't have many

related: Never put nature aside for television

Tags: cleaning · family · Grandma · kids · not-so-veiled threats · p.s.

What is it about mothers-in-law and towels?

September 25th, 2013 · 44 Comments

And was it one of the “special” towels? (The kind that keep you in indentured servitude for seven years before you’re allowed to marry?)

To whoever stole my big yellow towel,  I am glad you used my towel and have taken it off to be washed. However, that towel actually wasn't mine, it was my future mother-in-law's, lent to me last week. I'd really like to get married one day so if you could bring the towel back ASAP, that would be great

P.S. I’d like to dedicate this post to my brother Danny and his fiancée, Meg, who are getting married this weekend in Minneapolis!

related: Those were the special towels!

Tags: family · Ireland · stealing

You know what, kid? Maybe you need to start packing your own lunch.

September 24th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Christina in Marietta, Georgia says her 7-year-old daughter pointedly handed her this note when she picked up after school. “For the record,” Christina says, “The bread was fresh, just multigrain instead of whole wheat. The cheese was simply a different brand of Swiss cheese. Both were bought the day before.”

Today on my sandwich the bread was stale and the chese was rotten.

Meanwhile, Steph in St. Paul, Minnesota received this missive from her 6-year-old after running out of garlic salt to sprinkle on her “macken cheese,” thus beginning a 15-month boycott. (“Honestly though,” says Steph, “I don’t think mac & cheese is very healthy anyway, so…”)

 I DO NOT Wont My MackEn chees I absilootly hate macken chees pick owt anether thing but not macken cheese

Finally, Beth in New Jersey got this “friendly letter” sent home from school with her 7-year-old son.

Dear Mom, Please do not give me Sun Chips. I hate them! Write back soon.

related: I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

Tags: cheese · food · kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

The Big Brother’s Guide to Little Sisters

September 16th, 2013 · 52 Comments

When she was growing up, Jennifer in New York says she always wanted a big brother. “Now that I have three children of my own,” she writes, “I thought I could live vicariously through my daughter, the middle child.” However, finding this “to-do list” on top of her eldest son’s homework has made her consider that vision. (God help this kid’s future crushes!)

Friday: spy Saturday: scare her Sunday: run away Monday: hide trains Tuesday: sneak and pinch her butt Wednesday: copy her Thursday: go see her when going to bathroom Friday: steal her backpack Saturday: baby talk Sunday: sneak under the piano when she is practicing Monday: talk about funny things about her on facebook Tuesday: hide library books (if she has some)

related: No girls allowed!

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · not so much passive-aggressive · siblings

Anti-social networking

September 11th, 2013 · 35 Comments

Just a reminder, folks: updating your newsfeed = not actually the same thing as genuine social interaction.

E Murphy: is in a relationship P Murphy: apparently not with his mother!

Ryan: I love my friends Todd: including the ones you ignore regularly? Briana: i AGREE WITH THE GUY ABOVE!

related: Because you’re not really knocked up until Facebook says so
extra credit: Facebook is bad and makes you feel bad [newyorker.com]

Tags: frenemies · Mother-son notes · oh snap

Housesitting Dos & Don’ts

September 1st, 2013 · 69 Comments

Writes Mark in the U.K.: “My friend went over to his sister’s place to house sit for a week and when he arrived he was greeted with this. The ‘help yourself to our empty cupboards’ bit is a joy in itself, but having to be told not to try on her housemate’s lingerie is a total gem.”

DO feed the cat. DO change her water. DON'T try on Katie's bras. DON'T write a sarcastic reply to this list.

related: PANTY RAID!

Tags: siblings · signed with love

Nobody does guilt trips quite like Grandma

August 28th, 2013 · 50 Comments

“My dear, sweet grandmother is a treasure in my life,” writes Jessi in Dallas. To her horror, however, she realized — upon receiving this anonymous postcard from ‘a friend,’ — that she had forgotten to wish her grandmother a happy birthday this year.

Already feeling pretty guilty, says Jessi: “I immediately called her and received an additional 40-minute guilt trip over the phone. Today I sent her a birthday card in the mail.” Still, Jessi can’t help but how long it’ll be before she makes it off of Grandma’s “naughty list.”

Jessica, Where are you? I know you are out there somewhere. Contact your grandmother. She is three years away from being eighty. She is deaf and all alone. A Friend.

related: If you have a birthday and don’t hear from your grandchildren, is it still a birthday?

Tags: birthday · Dallas/Fort Worth · Grandma · guilt trip · mea culpa

But…but…I’m a grown-up now!

August 21st, 2013 · 65 Comments

Writes our submitter in Michigan: “My sister-in-law graduated high school recently, and apparently calling to congratulate her — as opposed to driving 1200 miles to attend the ceremony —  was a major slight.” (A slight I’m guessing she’d be willing to graciously overlook in exchange for 50 bucks or so.)

Dear [redacted],  Thank you for the card you didn't send me and the text I never got! I also appreciate all the effort you put into trying to come to my party! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH Love, Your baby sister

related: Congratulations! At some point in time, through no effort of your own, you were born.

Tags: family · sarcasm · signed with love · thanks (but not really)