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Entries Tagged as 'family'

Did you send your Mom a Mother’s Day card?

May 10th, 2008 · 78 Comments

“Living with your parents while still in college has it’s benefits (saving money and all) but it also has its drawbacks,” writes Laura in Springfield, Missouri. Primarily…boundaries.

“My parents regularly grab my mail and put it in a compartment on a desk in our kitchen, which I don’t always check,” Laura explains. Sometime shortly after Christmas, Laura’s mother left her daughter a thank-you note. (An oddly formal gesture, but at least she didn’t actually lick a stamp and mail it first.)

The trouble arose several weeks later, when Mom discovered the note — still unopened — mixed in with Laura’s other mail. Her reaction? Another note, of course.

Thanks for opening this - I won't send anything else - Mom

On that note…Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: going postal · Missouri · Moms & Dads · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes · Springfield · thanks but no thanks

Why is it that on this night we’re, like, allowed to eat carbs?

April 20th, 2008 · 47 Comments

You gotta love my Grandma Cookie — she’s always looking out for my figure!

Make the matzo balls light!!

(This is why the Seder calls for the drinking of four cups of wine.)

related: too many
extra credit: our stomachs, ourselves [heeb]

Tags: animated fucking e-card · Grandma · holiday spirit

No girls allowed

April 18th, 2008 · 98 Comments

Writes Bailey in Oklahoma: “My nine-year-old brother hung the original note on his door when I came home from college for Christmas. After I laughed it off, he left a special note just for me. When I walked in anyway, he yelled, “Didn’t you see the sign?!?’ I can’t believe I’m being patronized by a third-grader.”

This is a boys only room. No girls can enter except my girl cousin. This includes you Bailey.

(Don’t worry, Bailey, you’re not the only one.)

related: No kids allowed!

Tags: battle of the sexes · kids · siblings · visual aids

And please don’t step on any cracks, either

April 16th, 2008 · 126 Comments

After six months of backpacking through Australia, my former roommate Robin stopped by her mom’s house on Long Island to unload her giant pack of souvenirs, leftover trail mix, and unwashed underwear. Her crucial mistake — besides the basic one: returning back home to mom as an adult — leaving an unopened can of planter’s peanuts on the floor of her room…within sight of her mom, who is, um, deathly allergic to peanuts.

The note she left was simple enough, but for Robin, the subtext was clear: “What, you’ve been back one day, and already you’re trying to kill me?”


“Honestly, I’m pretty surprised she didn’t add in ‘…OR I WILL DIE!!!’ at the end,” says Robin. “But the dirty looks I got from my stepdad the rest of the day basically said as much.” After getting a very thorough talking-to the next day about the finer points of washing cast-iron cookware, she decided it was definitely time to get her own place.

related: Cleaning party!

Tags: food · Moms & Dads · New York · pleasantries as afterthought

I can has guilt trip?

April 2nd, 2008 · 112 Comments

Writes Jake in Los Angeles: “At home for Christmas (in Greenville, South Carolina) I mentioned in passing that I would ‘try’ to make it home for Easter, which is what most southern refugee children with guilt complexes tell their doting mothers even though both sides know said child has no intention of showing up to hide eggs and eat ham.”

Jake’s mom, bless her heart, didn’t get the memo.

I am a sad cat wearing bunny ears.

Wish you were coming home but I understand. Love, M

related: Too many

Tags: guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · South Carolina · southern charm

An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

March 3rd, 2008 · 96 Comments

The “Thanks for forgetting my birthday, asshole” thank-you note: Because the only thing that would have made this e-mail from Rebecca’s (32-year-old) brother any better is a midi file soundtrack and a dancing elephant or two.

yesterday was my birthday. thanks

Adds Rebecca: “My resulting apology just yielded more hate-filled e-mails from him — nevermind that I was camping and he lives in another country which I can’t call from my cell phone! I should have taken the advice of another contributor to this site who said there is no correct way to respond to a passive-aggressive note.”

related: two birds with one snowman

Tags: birthday · cry me a freaking river · e-mail · most popular notes of 2008 · Orlando · siblings · thanks (but not really)

But Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted

February 24th, 2008 · 109 Comments

Charlie in Hopkinton, Massachusetts (age 17) and his little brother (age 15) spent a good deal of time scheming about how to respond to their mother’s notes around the bathroom before deciding upon shaving cream as their weapon of choice.

p.s. Matilda: the most passive-aggressive child in fiction? (Also, Muggle-wump: the most passive-aggressive monkey?) discuss!

related: Living with an adolescent (abridged)

Tags: bathroom · Massachusetts · Moms & Dads