Entries Tagged as 'family'

A pre-emptive strike

May 2nd, 2013 · 44 Comments

Eddy shares a house in Providence, Rhode Island with his sister. “We’re both busy with school and work,” Eddy says, “so we take turns cleaning the bathroom.” Well, sort of. “I usually put it off for weeks,” Eddy admits.

Dear Eddy, Thank you for taking the time out of your busy week to clean the bathroom. I have bought cleaning supplies for your endeavor. ? Carissa

Adds Eddy: “By the way, the heart translates loosely to ‘I’ll f’ing kill you.’”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: bathroom · cleaning · family · Providence · thanks (but not really)

A note from the Easter Bunny

March 31st, 2013 · 57 Comments

Christine from Buffalo says her 7-year-old daughter, Mary, was curious as to whether or not the Easter Bunny pooped chocolate. Yet when this note showed up next to a pile of “droppings,” little Mary was unwilling to taste a sample to find out.

Dear Mary, Your mom forgot to put out carrots, so I got them from the refrigerator and pooped on the floor. Don't be mad at her for forgetting! There was some water on the table, and I drank it because I was thirsty. Love, the Easter Bunny.

P.S. Is leaving carrots for the Easter bunny a thing, like leaving cookies for Santa? I totally didn’t know that was a thing, if it is a thing. Is it?

P.P. S. We can all agree that mall Easter bunnies are totally creepy, right?

related: The Easter bunny is a passive-aggressive little bugger

Tags: Easter · Moms & Dads

A declaration of independence

March 20th, 2013 · 116 Comments

Writes Kate in Georgia: “My niece, Emily, has to be the most adorable revolutionary in existence. Last week she self-published her manifesto. There are actually six pages of demands, each printed on butterfly stationery. (We assume the butterfly symbolizes her freedom from authority.)”

Emily declares her freedom...from getting in trouble

related: See you never again in my life!

Tags: Georgia · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2013

Anarchy in the Pre-K

March 13th, 2013 · 101 Comments

Our submitter in Washington, D.C. says that a parent recently sent this e-mail to her daughter’s preschool teacher…and cc’d it to the parents of every kid in the class. “Clearly, she thinks her kids are getting screwed out of their God-given right to show-and-tell,” our submitter marvels. “I wouldn’t want to mess with this woman come college application time!”

I have a question about show & tell. How many items are the children supposed to bring? It was always my understanding that each child brought one thing to

related: Pre-K parent public shaming

Tags: D.C. · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers

Why do you ruin each day of my life?

March 5th, 2013 · 48 Comments

Belinda in Tennessee says her six-year-old daughter wrote this note “after I refused to let her try to glue a bouncy ball back onto the elastic of the paddle toy it had broken off of.”

Mom (sigh) I really love you but why do you ruin each day of my life. I'll be on the front porch if you want to talk with me.

Translation (for those who don’t speak six-year-old):
Mom (sigh) I really love you but why do you ruin each day of my life. I’ll be on the front porch if you want to talk with me.

Meanwhile, redditor thinkboxutah’s 7-year-old son put this together after getting grounded.

I hate my life

related: Just…poop.

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes · Tennessee

Mother-In-Law-In-Training

February 5th, 2013 · 173 Comments

Sara from Austin writes: “I took my 2-year-old to visit my darling (but travel-phobic) father-in-law. I’ve stayed at his house many times, but not since his girlfriend began living there. He told me to make myself at home and use anything we needed, specifically pointing to the linen closet. There was one bath towel and one washcloth hanging in the bathroom (for us to share?) so I helped myself to more.”

The next day, Sara says, “two brand-new (unwashed) towels were hanging in the bathroom and this note was taped inside the linen closet. The towels I had used the day before were all washed, folded and back in the closet behind the note. That night, we moved to my sister-in-law’s house.”

Please don't get anything without our permission. We have certain towels for our visitor & certain towels for us (which we don't want our visitors to use)  Thank you!

Please don't get anything without our permission.  We have certain towels for our visitor & certain towels for us (which we don't want our visitors to use)  Thank you!

related: These towels are for decoration only!

Tags: a little uptight · family · most popular notes of 2013

The Boy Who Drank All the Milk: A first-world fable

January 23rd, 2013 · 60 Comments

Marcel in Montreal begins his story with the moral: “There are just some things you don’t mess with — vipers, rabid dogs, king cobras, black widows…and my mom.” His younger self, however, was far less wise. This is his tale.

For a long time, Marcel and his siblings had the irritating habit of drinking all the milk in the house late at night so that there was none left when their mother went to pour herself a bowl of cereal for breakfast the morning.

One day, Marcel and his siblings came home from school to find a batch of “the richest, most delicious brownies ever” sitting on the counter. Of course, they dug in immediately. But just as he was about to head to the fridge to pour himself a cold, tall glass of milk to wash down all that chocolate-y goodness, Marcel noticed this note from Mom hiding underneath the crumbs.

Maybe next time you'll think before you drink all the milk and don't replace it!! xoxo ? Mom

“Sacre bleu!” he cried, for sure enough, there was not a drop of milk to be found in the house. Leaving a trail of brownie crumbs behind him, he ran as fast as he could to the nearest dairy farm, where, shortly before hitting send on this submission, he was eaten by a very hungry wolf.

“Both Marcel and the brownies,” the wolf wrote, “were fucking delicious.”

related: The Boy Who Forgot to Clear His Browser History

Tags: heart · milk · Moms & Dads · Montreal · Mother-son notes · signed with love · xoxo

What a little hart-braker

January 22nd, 2013 · 34 Comments

Our submitter in Vancouver, Washington says this note was slipped under her door after her daughter was sent to her room following a disagreement about doing the dishes. Adds Mom: “I like that the poop is just there — not telling me I smell like poop, or to eat poop. Just…poop.”

Never doing anything for you ever again ever for Mom —Emily (hart brok) P.S. Running away (Poop)

related: Buckets of my tears

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · p.s.

No drama!!!

December 4th, 2012 · 48 Comments

Yes, Lorraine, admits, she works long hours at her job. And no, her mother hasn’t been over to her house in a while…but neither has anybody else. Nice of her Mum to refrain from DRAMA[!!!] about it though, right? (Krystle Gale, I’m guessing you can relate.)

Have a Great Day! On your Birthday! Had to send it at work! I have been SO MANY TIMES in your place, I DONT KNOW THE RIGHT NUMBER. No Drama!!!

related: So, Mom, what you’re telling me is to cover up with a latex catsuit?

Tags: Australia · birthday · exclamation-point happy!!!! · guilt trip · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes

Better late than never?

November 29th, 2012 · 51 Comments

At first glance, I thought this was one of those ads in the back of a high school yearbook, but no — Katie in Galveston, Texas actually spotted this in the  pages of the local newspaper.

Happy Birthday Krystal Gale. 35 years old today. My special daughter, makes me so glad to have you in my life. But I wish you would call or text more to me. Your Mom, So many thoughts about you and me together, My Shadow. Better Late than never.

related: My parents, the loan sharks

Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin

extra credit: “Woman Has Bizarre Ability To Share Details About Personal Life With Parents” [theonion.com]

Tags: birthday · guilt trip · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · newspaper · public shaming