Entries Tagged as 'family'
(After all, once they’ve moved back home into their old bedrooms, they can just raid your liquor cabinet and sneak bills from your wallet, just like old times!)
Meanwhile, this note/social critique was spotted by James in downtown Iowa City, “amid dozens of bars and thousands of over-privileged young suburbanites.”
If, however, your entrepreneurial kiddos do decide to strike out their own, you might want to keep tabs on the Sudafed in the medicine cabinet. (Especially if “on their own” means “the room above the garage.”)
related: Your daughter is a substance abuser and a PLAYER!
Tags: art · beer · college life · drugs · graffiti · Iowa · Moms & Dads · money
Dan in Chicago spotted this unexpected gem in the “comments from our readers” section of the Chicago Tribune weather page.
related: No money, no trophy
Tags: Chicago · Moms & Dads · posted online
Dara’s birthday is coming up, and her grandpa sent her this card. (Explains Dara: “He calls birthdays ‘anniversaries’ because ‘you only have one birth day.’) Nice, huh? And we haven’t even gotten to the guilt-trippy part yet.
“He lives in Florida and I live in upstate New York.” Dara says. “I went to visit my parents in NYC a few weeks ago and he chose to visit them the day after I left. Somehow that’s my fault.”
related: Don’t worry, I’m alive. Not that you’d care. I’m only your mother!
Tags: Binghamton · birthday · family · guilt trip · New York · old folks · signed with love
Grandmas: they can kiss you on the cheek while punching you in the gut, and you’ll still write a thank-you note…or wish you had. BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.
related: But…but…I didn’t forget!
P.S. By the way, Grandma Cookie, I did call you at Palm Garden on Mother’s Day — three times — but you didn’t answer. But, um, Happy Mother’s Day?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Idaho · just a friendly reminder · Mother's Day · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love
Jill from Baltimore is in her early 30s now, so she has enough distance from her childhood self to laugh at the passive-aggressiveness of this Mother’s Day card she made when she 11 or 12. “I love that I used Mother’s Day as an opportunity to not only tell my mom how great she is, but also to not-so-subtly point out her shortcomings.”
(If you were wondering about the “NA,” Dad did the cooking.)
related: Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!
Tags: Baltimore · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes
“This is part of an exchange that took place between parents of kids involved in a summer theater program,” our submitter explains. “My 10-year-old daughter was also part of the summer production, and I shared the e-mails with her as a shining example of what the term ‘passive-aggressive’ means.”
(Just click on the images to enlarge, or mouse over to read the transcriptions.)
related: No money, no trophy
Tags: farewell letter · Moms & Dads · non-apology apology · that's disrespectful · TL;DR
When my younger brother Danny was around 6 or 7, I remember he brought home a project he’d done in school — a little book entitled “My Family,” or something like that. I don’t recall what he said about the rest of us, but on the page about our mother, he had written: “MOM BRINGS DINNER,” complete with a stick-figure drawing of her with McDonald’s bags in both hands. We all laughed about it, but I think my mother was still pretty mortified — and god only knows what his teacher thought.
Well, Mom, allow me to introduce you to Carmen: you two might be able to commiserate. When her son (who is, coincidentally, also named Daniel) was 6, his first grade teacher had the kids write little journal entries about their weekends every Monday. This was Daniel’s. (The teacher’s feedback is my favorite part.)
Carmen is quick to add that she was most definitely not “drunk” — in fact, on this particular occasion, she hadn’t had a single alcoholic beverage. But just try explaining that to the school guidance counselor…
related: Just in case you haven’t gotten your fix of working mom guilt…your kid’s preschool teacher is ready to step up!
extra credit: Red Party Cups for Classy Moms
Tags: drizzunk · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · schools & teachers
For a second-grade assignment, Gayle‘s daughter Martha, age 7, was assigned to write an acrostic poem about a family member, using descriptive words beginning with each letter of their title (Mother, Grandpa, etc.) Martha chose to compose this loving ode to her SISTER.
related: The rift that keeps on giving
Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2011 · pure poetry · siblings
“First off,” writes submitter, who we’ll call Lorelai, “my parents and I have never, ever, ever had any kind of discussion regarding ANYTHING having to do with sex. Mostly because, well, they are my 60-something-year-old parents. And my father is my preacher.”
Today, Lorelai is a 33-year-old “volleyball-coaching, home-owning, full-time working, Girl-Scout-Troop-leading” mother of a “well-behaved, smart, friendly, athletic, violin-playing” daughter, who happens to be the product of unplanned pregnancy 11 years ago.
“Although it took my parents some time to accept the decision I made to raise her (successfully, so far!) on my own, I thought we had moved on,” our submitter says. “Apparently not. My long-distance, very serious, boyfriend will be visiting in a few days, and I guess they wanted to make their stance clear on the matter, eleven years later.”
Lorelai says the follow-up letter from her Mom clarifying to meaning of the card was even more awkward. Sample excerpt:
I guess our gesture was our way of saying ‘We love you and want you to have a healthy sex life, but be careful, because we don’t want you to be hurt like you were before.’
Adds Lorelai: “Maybe some people have this kind of relationship with their parents, but, well, I definitely don’t.”
related: Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.
Tags: holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · Ohio · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day
DeeAnne recently received this postcard from her mother, who’s vacationing in Hawaii. “After regaling me with the usual tales of beautiful scenery and exotic fauna,” says DeeAnne, “she reminded me that if only I would succumb to her 10,000th ‘hint’ to accept her friend request on Facebook — note the double underline — I too would be able to glimpse paradise.”
And yet, “as you can see, she’s forgiving enough that she’s still willing to show them to me upon her return.” (Phew.)
related: This is what happens when parents use Facebook
extra credit: Saturday Night Live, “Mom’s on Facebook”
Tags: Facebook · Hawaii · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love