Entries Tagged as 'family'

Praying for rain (and/or the end of the world)

May 21st, 2011 · 30 Comments

Dan in Chicago spotted this unexpected gem in the “comments from our readers” section of the Chicago Tribune weather page.

Right now it is not raining, but I am really counting on it to rain, because I am not in the mood to go to my son's little league game.

related: No money, no trophy

Tags: Chicago · Moms & Dads · posted online

Grandpas can guilt-trip, too!

May 19th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Dara’s birthday is coming up, and her grandpa sent her this card. (Explains Dara: “He calls birthdays ‘anniversaries’ because ‘you only have one birth day.’) Nice, huh? And we haven’t even gotten to the guilt-trippy part yet.

“He lives in Florida and I live in upstate New York.” Dara says. “I went to visit my parents in NYC a few weeks ago and he chose to visit them the day after I left. Somehow that’s my fault.”

Hi Dara. Happy Anniversary. We don't see enough of each other but I guess that can't be helped. All my love GrandPa

related: Don’t worry, I’m alive. Not that you’d care. I’m only your mother!

Tags: Binghamton · birthday · family · guilt trip · New York · old folks · signed with love

“I’m not keeping track or anything, but you are being written out of the will.”

May 11th, 2011 · 92 Comments

Grandmas: they can kiss you on the cheek while punching you in the gut, and you’ll still write a thank-you note…or wish you had. BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU WOULDN’T BE HERE.

[Grandma]: I have 7 Grandkids -- 3 grandkid-in-laws -- 5 great-grandkids -- THIS IS A MESSAGE TO ALL OF THE ABOVE --  I just wanted to remind you that I am the mother of your mother.  Without your mother YOU WOULDN'T BE HERE. I want you to know that I am NOT keeping track, but Christy [redacted] is the only one who remembered me on Mother's Day.  Our will is being adjusted as I speak.  Lots of Love...Nan

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

P.S. By the way, Grandma Cookie, I did call you at Palm Garden on Mother’s Day — three times — but you didn’t answer. But, um, Happy Mother’s Day?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Facebook · family · Grandma · guilt trip · Idaho · just a friendly reminder · Mother's Day · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love

A Mother’s Day Report Card

May 5th, 2011 · 37 Comments

Jill from Baltimore is in her early 30s now, so she has enough distance from her childhood self to laugh at the passive-aggressiveness of this Mother’s Day card she made when she 11 or 12. “I love that I used Mother’s Day as an opportunity to not only tell my mom how great she is, but also to not-so-subtly point out her shortcomings.”

Report Card For: Mom Helping me with Math homework - Average Playing Tennis - Excellent Cleaning Laundry - Excellent Being a Mom - Excellent!!! Cooking Dinner - N/A Shopping for my clothes - Great Taking me Places - Great

(If you were wondering about the “NA,” Dad did the cooking.)

related: Happy F’ing Mother’s Day!

Tags: Baltimore · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · Mother's Day · Mother-daughter notes

When Stage Moms Attack!

April 20th, 2011 · 93 Comments

“This is part of an exchange that took place between parents of kids involved in a summer theater program,” our submitter explains. “My 10-year-old daughter was also part of the summer production, and I shared the e-mails with her as a shining example of what the term ‘passive-aggressive’ means.”

(Just click on the images to enlarge, or mouse over to read the transcriptions.)

I apologize if I am ruining the performance because my daughter, [redacted], will not be able to make the Saturday FROG performance time. All of the children have rehearsed together for six weeks, and it is going to throw the whole performance because she is going to be in her aunt's wedding instead (which, by the way, we found out about after signing up for camp). Apparantly [sic],

From day one of camp I have heard nothing but bad reports regarding your daughters behavior. She is disrespectful to the staff and other camp participants. I don't believe the expectations of the camp are unreasonable as it is a group effort and children need to lean [sic] accountability and commitment regardless of age. I understand that a wedding is also important and I am not sure how I would handle the situation. I am certainly not defending any behaviors of the camp staff or how they might have handled your particular situation. The bigger impact on "the whole performance" has been her behavior and not the fact that she cannot attend on Saturday. I am disappointed that you would use the entire email list to air your laundry. This is something that should have been handled directly with [redacted] and your behavior is disrespectful to the kids, parents, and staff.

Thank you for your response. I apologize that your misinterpreted my message and that it apparently offended you, but my email was a sincere apology to the parents. I know there are some children [redacted] has made friends with, and m email was a very brief explanation of why she would not be in camp/the performance so they could convey this to their children if questions arose. I felt it necessary that if parents wanted to prepare their children for the change they would encounter in camp/the performance they could do so. I know some children do not do well with change, and informing them that is coming is a huge benefit.   Had I wanted to "air my laundry" in the email I would have written in detail what I think of how the situation was handled, my opinion on the people involved, etc... I in no way disrespected anyone in my explanation -- it as merely that.  On another note, it is not good form to criticize a child's behavior as having an "impact on the whole performance" she will no longer be in. My daughter is a good child, and I find it sad that you feel otherwise. I find it alarming that I was never notified of such disrespectfulness. If there had been a problem with her behavior it should have been brought up with her father or I.   In any case, I hope you enjoy the performance and your child does wonderfully.

related: No money, no trophy

Tags: farewell letter · Moms & Dads · non-apology apology · that's disrespectful · TL;DR

The Bad Moms Club (see, it’s funny ’cause it’s NOT true)

April 11th, 2011 · 61 Comments

When my younger brother Danny was around 6 or 7, I remember he brought home a project he’d done in school — a little book entitled “My Family,” or something like that. I don’t recall what he said about the rest of us, but on the page about our mother, he had written: “MOM BRINGS DINNER,” complete with a stick-figure drawing of her with McDonald’s bags in both hands. We all laughed about it, but I think my mother was still pretty mortified —  and god only knows what his teacher thought.

Well, Mom, allow me to introduce you to Carmen: you two might be able to commiserate. When her son (who is, coincidentally, also named Daniel) was 6, his first grade teacher had the kids write little journal entries about their weekends every Monday. This was Daniel’s. (The teacher’s feedback is my favorite part.)

17 MARCH MY NEWS: I WENT TO MY FRIEND LUCAS HOUSE. MY MOM GOT DRUNK. [Teacher:] Oh my goodness me! It's important for mom to let her hair down once in a while!

Carmen is quick to add that she was most definitely not “drunk” — in fact, on this particular occasion, she hadn’t had a single alcoholic beverage. But just try explaining that to the school guidance counselor…

related: Just in case you haven’t gotten your fix of working mom guilt…your kid’s preschool teacher is ready to step up!

extra credit: Red Party Cups for Classy Moms

Tags: drizzunk · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2011 · schools & teachers

S is for Sibling Rivalry

April 4th, 2011 · 53 Comments

For a second-grade assignment, Gayle‘s daughter Martha, age 7, was assigned to write an acrostic poem about a family member, using descriptive words beginning with each letter of their title (Mother, Grandpa, etc.) Martha chose to compose this loving ode to her SISTER.

S is for Soccer I for for incredible S if for screaming T is for a turd E is for easily gets mad R is for a rat

related: The rift that keeps on giving

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2011 · pure poetry · siblings

“Sweetie, I saw that Walgreens is having a sale on jumbo-sized rubbers, so of course I thought of you!”

March 25th, 2011 · 104 Comments

“First off,” writes submitter, who we’ll call Lorelai, “my parents and I have never, ever, ever had any kind of discussion regarding ANYTHING having to do with sex. Mostly because, well, they are my 60-something-year-old parents. And my father is my preacher.”

Today, Lorelai is a 33-year-old “volleyball-coaching, home-owning, full-time working, Girl-Scout-Troop-leading” mother of a “well-behaved, smart, friendly, athletic, violin-playing” daughter, who happens to be the product of unplanned pregnancy 11 years ago.

“Although it took my parents some time to accept the decision I made to raise her (successfully, so far!) on my own, I thought we had moved on,” our submitter says. “Apparently not. My long-distance, very serious, boyfriend will be visiting in a few days, and I guess they wanted to make their stance clear on the matter, eleven years later.”

Happy Valentine's Day! Go buy some Magnums! Love, Mom & Dad

Happy Valentine's Day! Go buy some Magnums! Love, Mom & Dad

Lorelai says the follow-up letter from her Mom clarifying to meaning of the card was even more awkward. Sample excerpt:

I guess our gesture was our way of saying ‘We love you and want you to have a healthy sex life, but be careful, because we don’t want you to be hurt like you were before.’

Adds Lorelai: “Maybe some people have this kind of relationship with their parents, but, well, I definitely don’t.”

related: Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.

Tags: holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · Ohio · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day

What you’re missing by not befriending your Mom on Facebook

March 24th, 2011 · 68 Comments

DeeAnne recently received this postcard from her mother, who’s vacationing in Hawaii. “After regaling me with the usual tales of beautiful scenery and exotic fauna,” says DeeAnne, “she reminded me that if only I would succumb to her 10,000th ‘hint’ to accept her friend request on Facebook — note the double underline — I too would be able to glimpse paradise.”

And yet, “as you can see, she’s forgiving enough that she’s still willing to show them to me upon her return.” (Phew.)

There are plenty of photos on Facebook but YOU are not my friend! I can show you when I get home. Love, Mom

related: This is what happens when parents use Facebook

extra credit: Saturday Night Live, “Mom’s on Facebook”

Tags: Facebook · Hawaii · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love

Dear Grandma: Thanks for saving me the trouble of sending you a thank-you note by writing one yourself.

March 3rd, 2011 · 178 Comments

Explains Megan: “My grandmother is extremely particular about her grandchildren when it comes to writing letters, especially handwritten thank-you notes. (My cousins and I often spend family events comparing the consequences we’ve endured for taking too long to mail the proper correspondence.)”

Megan recently moved, so she didn’t get around to sending Grandma a heartfelt thank you for her Valentine’s gift as quickly as usual. Instead, she got beaten to the punch. Within a week and a half of Valentine’s Day, this postcard (from guess who?) showed up in Megan’s mailbox.

Written on a postcard addressed TO Megan:

related: P.S. Do you they teach you thank notes at school?

Tags: etiquette · Grandma · old folks · thanks (but not really)