Entries Tagged as 'fed-up librarian'

So much for “New Year, New You”

January 27th, 2014 · 53 Comments

In honor of that special time of year when New Year’s resolutions are made abandoned, Laughton in the U.K. draws our attention to this particularly apropos selection from  Awful Library Books.

Overcoming Passive Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger From Spoiling Your Relationships, Career, and Happiness (Pages missing: ALL)

related: And a Happy New Year to you!

Tags: library

But…you said not to flush anything down the toilet?

December 3rd, 2013 · 95 Comments

Writes Sarah: “I am deeply sorry, long-suffering San Diego Public Library, for whatever past incident(s) made this sign necessary…though I do appreciate the superfun font!”

ATTENTION: Please do not discard plastic bags with urine in this receptacle

related: Colostomy bags!

Tags: library · piss · San Diego · so this is a thing?

PEDANT (noun)

February 19th, 2013 · 84 Comments

Oh boy.

To: University of Guam Library  Good Afternoon, I have spent many semesters in our wonderful campus library. I admire the dedication and hard work that the staff demonstrates in order to maintain and keep up top priority issues any students may experience. I would like to contribute what I have learned in my few years here at UOG. I frequently occupy the main floor and have come across some signs that read

(As always, just click on the image to enlarge.)

related: Volenti non fit injuria

Tags: college life · library · TL;DR

Well, someone’s feeling a little Shortz-tempered.

July 5th, 2012 · 48 Comments

What’s an 11-letter word for “passive-aggressive tactic?” Well, it happens to be the weapon of choice at the Portsmouth Public Library in New Hampshire, where Persephone says there is some serious crossword-puzzle drama going on.

(Personally, I would have liked to see someone add: “Even if it’s only the Monday puzzle.”)

If you are smart enough to solve The New York Times crossword puzzle, you are smart enough to make a photocopy first. Just 10 cents.

related: Shushing the shusher

Tags: library · New Hampshire · newspaper

Please don’t treat the stapler like you treat your farm animals

November 1st, 2011 · 51 Comments

This brilliantly understated little note comes to us from a campus library at the University of Auckland, where submitter Louise says the staplers do seem to get jammed into disrepair on a fairly regular basis.

This stapler is now in perfect mechanical condition. It works just fine. Please do not abuse the stapler. Remember: This is just an ordinary stapler, not a rocket powered attaching device. It will NOT staple together half a ream of paper. Unlike a plowing mule, hitting it really hard will not make the stapler work harder to accomplish your goal.

(I have to admit that I kinda love this one. Hat tip to you, librarian!)

related: (Insert Office Space reference here)

extra credit: A rocket-powered detaching device

Tags: fed-up librarian · most popular notes of 2011 · New Zealand · office supplies

Shushing the shusher

July 21st, 2011 · 109 Comments

Anna in Minneapolis (“librarian in peach sweater”) recently received this anonymous note from a disgruntled library patron. “Apparently, I was talking too loudly to one of our elderly customers on the phone,” she says. “So much for Minnesota nice!”

Whatever happened to speaking QUIETLY in a library? librarian in peach sweater.

related: You seem like really nice people. Really.

extra credit: Just know that I have a whole bag of shhh! with your name on it [youtube]

Tags: etiquette · library · Minneapolis/St. Paul · noise

I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities.

August 10th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

I'm sorry if this is rude. But...You smell. And you've been scratching your body constantly. Please go take a shower when you get home. I'm studying for an important exam and your lack of hygiene is affecting my concentration.

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy.  The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

Bicycle shorts are an incredible invention. For the avid cyclist, the form-fitting design allows for freedom of movement temperature control and comfort. But when worn to a boxing class, especially in conjunction with a baby blue tank top, they can pose several dangers both to the wearer and those around him. Beyond the obvious aesthetic perils bicycle shorts can create by highlighting abnormally small genitalia, these types of shorts, when worn with a sky blue wife beater, create unease and discomfort among female classmates. This is mostly due to the fact that in 1928 the official uniform of sexual predators was declared to be black bicycle shorts paired with a powder blue tank top. Thankfully, in 1929, boxing shorts were invented, thereby eliminating any chance of someone showing up to a boxing class dressed as a convicted rapist.

related: You seem like really nice people, but…

Tags: a little insensitive · attire · gym · library · mean girls · noise · odor

And seriously, FYI you guys

April 5th, 2010 · 96 Comments

This note was spotted by Sara at the downtown Alamo Cinema Drafthouse in Austin, seemingly written by an employee channeling Amy Poehler’s character in Wet Hot American Summer.

Hey guys, listen up! There is [sic] way too many memos being posted around here lately, irregardless of what they may say. Let's all do our part to minimize clutter on the wall. Seriously, no biggie, just you know...

Seriously guys, amirite?!?

related: Now finish up them taters, I’m gonna go fondle my sweaters

Tags: Austin · CAPS LOCK · fed-up librarian · irregardless · meta · now that's management · spelling and grammar police

The case for single-sex toilets

March 17th, 2009 · 139 Comments

“In the staff area of our library, there is a single-stall, co-ed bathroom,” says our anonymous submitter in Berkeley, California. Everyone got along okay, more or less, until recently, when one of the library’s male employees “left quite a mess behind.” A female coworker responded with the note below.

Turn around. Did everything flush? Did you wipe the seat and put it back down? Have some common courtesy. We don't want to know your business. Thanks

And then, well, the lines were drawn.

Please DO NOT flush any feminine products in the toilet!

Please also avoid flushing the following Masculine Products in the toilet: Electric razors, Sporting equipment, T.V. remotes, Guns, Excessive Aggression

related: dude kinda has a point

Tags: battle of the sexes · Berkeley · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · fed-up librarian · office · toilet

Grimace and the fry kids

April 23rd, 2008 · 124 Comments

The school in Los Angeles where Anna works is under renovation, so a lot of the kids cut through the library on their way to and from the cafeteria. Recently, one of these fine young scholars spilled an entire basket of fries…and kept walking. One of Anna’s coworkers picked them up, but he missed one. another coworker posted this note.

Please note the offending French fry on the carpet in the library. Situations like this, people, are why we make you go around the library when you have food or drink.

The amazing thing, Anna says, is that the sign actually worked. “The student came in, took responsibility and even apologized.” Happy meals all around!

related: No sarcasm left behind
extra credit: The real Grimace [youtube]

Tags: fed-up librarian · food · kids today · library · McDonalds