as we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.
while the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. i’d also be [...]
Entries Tagged as 'food'
the half-donut bandit
October 28th, 2009 · 197 Comments
Tags: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought
thanks…i guess?
October 22nd, 2009 · 175 Comments
writes our anonymous submitter in cleveland: “my roommate mike is usually a generous guy, but he’s very possessive of his coffee, beef jerky, and other certain food indulgences. this note was sort of touching; he didn’t want to share, made that clear, but then decided he probably should — not for me though, but for [...]
Tags: cleveland · food · sharing is caring
there’s a nigerian prince i can put you in touch with for more information…
October 9th, 2009 · 156 Comments
office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.
the “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:
and — i shit you not — the response:
related: lean cuisine
Tags: all-staff e-mail · columbus · food · office fridge · oh snap
the patty hearst of fish
October 7th, 2009 · 163 Comments
laura in los angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in rosemead, california, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. the biggest fish, laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess — a job that generally means bearing [...]
Tags: anthropomorphism · california · exclamation-point happy! · fish · restaurant
another wacky round of “steal the bacon”
September 19th, 2009 · 109 Comments
first up: ami in london spots the fallout over what we can only assume was an onslaught of hungry breakfast bandits.
yup, we’ve got those in the states, too…as molly noticed at a grocery store in the plains, ohio.
adds molly: “why anyone would want to take a single slice of bacon out of a box i can’t really [...]
Tags: bacon
the nibbler: the plague of office breakrooms everywhere
September 15th, 2009 · 99 Comments
back in my college newspaper days, the pizzas in the back room always ended up, by the end of the night, completely decimated — some slices had the cheese picked off, others had the crusts nibbled away, and then those slices were oh-so-charitably left in the pizza box, presumably with the idea that some other, [...]
Tags: food · kitchen · office · thanks (but not really)
soyf*ckers anonymous
June 22nd, 2009 · 358 Comments
spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in columbus, ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order. (sob)
related: p.s. bacon is life
extra credit: passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [mcsweeneys]
Tags: clip art catastrophe · food · office
happy reinforcing gender stereotypes day!
June 21st, 2009 · 112 Comments
writes jim in colorado: “when i attempt to cook, i typically use way too many pots, pans and utensils and sometimes tend to skip instructions. (i actually made hard boiled eggs and set the smoke detectors off.) anyway, the other night i made cheeseburger pie and forgot to precook the meat. i woke up the next morning [...]
Tags: food · kitchen · moms & dads
no, no you can’t
June 9th, 2009 · 225 Comments
writes our anonymous submitter from san francisco: “i bought $50 worth of groceries at trader joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. the man has [...]
Tags: art · food · roommates · san francisco · shit
…and forgive us our trespasses
April 20th, 2009 · 162 Comments
writes kerry in brooklyn: “i just moved into a new apartment, and they don’t have secured outside parking for bikes. my place is NYC-sized, so naturally i decided to lock one of my bikes to the banister right outside my door. apparently that’s a big no-no in the building.”
meanwhile, melanie in newport, rhode island spotted [...]
Tags: bicycle · brooklyn · food · neighbors
when a card just won’t do
February 22nd, 2009 · 78 Comments
juan in brampton, ontario wasn’t persuasive enough to convince his girlfriend, kat, to skip work and go to her own surprise party. his friends were…not so happy.
meanwhile, sam’s best friend baked this for her husband after he re-arranged the living room early in the morning without telling her, resulting in some seriously bruised shins. “what’s [...]
Tags: birthday · cake · canada · more aggressive than passive · ontario · p.s.
mothers, lock up your crackers
February 8th, 2009 · 88 Comments
writes michael in st. louis: “i’ve tried my best to figure out the logic behind writing this note and then putting the salami back in the fridge, rather than simply throwing it away…” but so far, no luck. in any case, he says, “i’m glad that it’s been saved it for posterity, so it could [...]
Tags: food · office fridge · st. louis
who moved my cheese?
September 29th, 2008 · 175 Comments
presenting — in honor of british cheese week — three approaches to cheese thievery:
just one question
September 28th, 2008 · 117 Comments
related: seriously!?!
Tags: confusion??? · family · food · office · ontario · signed with love · texas
“i don’t need a birthday cake,” i said.
September 12th, 2008 · 112 Comments
(my roommate disagreed.)
now it’s my turn: happy birthday, kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)
related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks
Tags: birthday · brooklyn · cake · new york · park slope · roommates · smiley
the PANtheistic approach
September 7th, 2008 · 86 Comments
at yale divinity school, the daily chapel service is followed by a coffee hour. apparently, says sara in new haven, “some who skip chapel were helping themselves to the goodies before the intended time. looks like the ‘keeper of the snacks’ has something to say about this.”
meanwhile, john in sudbury, mass. spotted this humble plea [...]
Tags: connecticut · food · god · guilt trip · new haven · university
just doing their part to uphold the reputation of americans abroad
September 2nd, 2008 · 119 Comments
edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered ucla’s study abroad program in granada, spain last semester.
can you blame them? i mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!
Tags: actually totally reasonable · cheese · espana · exclamation-point happy! · noise · spain · university
coming soon: the all-you-can-spell buffet
August 31st, 2008 · 80 Comments
jesse says he spotted this sign at a great mongolian restaurant in the dallas area. “they recently changed their name from ton’s mongolian grill to tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”
related: best. potluck. theme. ever.
Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · dallas/fort worth · food · restaurant · spelling and grammar police
how good is that?
August 19th, 2008 · 176 Comments
our anonymous submitter in takoma park, maryland says her roommate/landlord is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but i think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.
related: the first thing i did when i woke up
Tags: e-mail · food · maryland · takoma park · thanks (but not really) · the earth
massive canine infestation
August 5th, 2008 · 215 Comments
this notice was spotted by tom from cambridge, england in “the tiniest little toilet in my college hall” — so tiny, he says, there’s “barely enough room to fit a dog in there if you tried.” (but a few raw steaks? perhaps!)
(massive canine infestation: sharing the stage with the light brown apple moth debacle at [...]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · bathroom · cambridge · food · fun with malapropisms · say wha? · toilet · u.k. · university · vermin

