Angie in Columbus, Ohio says this is the second (hilariously) furious fridge note to be posted lately in the office kitchenette. Adds Angie: “Who knew a Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwich fit into a ‘special diet’?” Perhaps next time the writer could just hop (er, drive) on over to Taco Bell?

related: It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich
extra credit: This [...]

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“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.

UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room [...]

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“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.

Wouldn’t you love to [...]

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“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we [...]

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Vaguely fishy notes like this one from Toronto are pretty common around office kitchens…

…but I’ve never seen a note that gets right to the point quite like this one from Amber in San Francisco.

related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

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I was really hoping this would die before I’d get around to posting about it, but more than four months later, it appears the  “Imma Let You Finish” meme is still chuggin’ along. I’m gonna chalk it up to end-of-the-year insta-nostalgia and, well, let it finish.

P.S. Speaking of Tillamook cheddar, Doug Fir in Portland makes [...]

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As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.
While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also [...]

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writes our anonymous submitter in Cleveland: “My roommate Mike is usually a generous guy, but he’s very possessive of his coffee, beef jerky, and other certain food indulgences. This note was sort of touching; he didn’t want to share, made that clear, but then decided he probably should — not for me though, but for [...]

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Office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.
The “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:

And — I shit you not — the response:

related: lean cuisine

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Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess  — a job that generally means bearing [...]

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First up: Ami in London spots the fallout over what we can only assume was an onslaught of hungry breakfast bandits.

Yup, we’ve got those in the States, too…as <olly noticed at a grocery store in Ohio.

Adds Molly: “Why anyone would want to take a single slice of bacon out of a box I can’t really say, but if [...]

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Back in my college newspaper days, the pizzas in the back room always ended up, by the end of the night, completely decimated — some slices had the cheese picked off, others had the crusts nibbled away, and then those slices were oh-so-charitably left in the pizza box, presumably with the idea that some other, [...]

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Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).

related: p.s. bacon is life
extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McsSweeneys]
P.S. Like this post? See more like this by [...]

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Writes Jim in Colorado: “When I attempt to cook, I typically use way too many pots, pans and utensils and sometimes tend to skip instructions. (I actually made hard-boiled eggs and set the smoke detectors off.) Anyway, the other night I made cheeseburger pie and forgot to precook the meat. I woke up the next morning [...]

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Writes our anonymous submitter from San Francisco: “I bought $50 worth of groceries at Trader Joe’s, my boyfriend made an awesome pizza out of [some of] them, and as we were watching a movie and eating some, my uber-bachelor roommate yelled through the door and asked if he could get a slice. The man has [...]

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Writes Kerry in Brooklyn: “I just moved into a new apartment, and they don’t have secured outside parking for bikes. My place is NYC-sized, so naturally I decided to lock one of my bikes to the banister right outside my door. Apparently that’s a big no-no in the building.”

Meanwhile, Melanie in Newport, Rhode Island spotted [...]

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“One morning last summer,” writes Stephanie in Illinois, “my brother and I arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (Mind you, it was 8:45 a.m.) Apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘Mr. Candyman’ — had failed to restock the machine for [...]

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Juan in Brampton, Ontario wasn’t persuasive enough to convince his girlfriend, kat, to skip work and go to her own surprise party. His friends were…not so happy.

Meanwhile, Sam’s best friend baked this for her husband after he re-arranged the living room early in the morning without telling her, resulting in some seriously bruised shins. “What’s [...]

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writes michael in st. louis: “i’ve tried my best to figure out the logic behind writing this note and then putting the salami back in the fridge, rather than simply throwing it away…” but so far, no luck. in any case, he says, “i’m glad that it’s been saved it for posterity, so it could [...]

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presenting — in honor of british cheese week — three approaches to cheese thievery:

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related: seriously!?!

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(My roommate disagreed.)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)
related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

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at yale divinity school, the daily chapel service is followed by a coffee hour. apparently, says sara in new haven, “some who skip chapel were helping themselves to the goodies before the intended time. looks like the ‘keeper of the snacks’ has something to say about this.”

meanwhile, john in sudbury, mass. spotted this humble plea [...]

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edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered ucla’s study abroad program in granada, spain last semester.

can you blame them? i mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

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jesse says he spotted this sign at a great mongolian restaurant in the dallas area. “they recently changed their name from ton’s mongolian grill to tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”

related: best. potluck. theme. ever.

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