Entries Tagged as 'food'

Stand down, wedding guests

July 17th, 2014 · 4 Comments

Spotted at a wedding in Texas. Says our submitter, “The food was BBQ. The DJ never made the announcement for seconds.”

Stand down, wedding guests

 

related: The bride will be accepting gifts

Tags: food · Texas · weddings and bridezillas

Cookie Trolls

May 14th, 2014 · 36 Comments

Look out Keebler Elves, cookies have a new mascot… in Poland anyway, where Karolina spotted this note warning her and her fellow coworkers not to indulge in any mid-shift snacking.

Please do not eat cookies. They're for guests only!

Arguably a bit severe, but hey, as Kristie from San Antonio let us know, when you say it with a cookie, you speak from the heart.

Fuck you Dan!!

Related: “Too many”

Tags: food · office

Scapegoat of the Sea

May 12th, 2014 · 35 Comments

Joanna in Boston says this started with “have a blessed day,” and has continued to escalate from there.

Please wash sink when you dump food, especially tuna fish. It reeks. HAVE A BLESSED DAY! Three most wanted tuna offenders. I feel discriminated against. I have good taste. Please note: Mary did not write this note. Mary is not passive-aggressive.  -Mary

related: Fish cookies, anyone?

Tags: Boston · fish · office · public shaming · rebuttals

Microwave Business: A Story of Teamwork

April 21st, 2014 · 81 Comments

Writes our submitter in Washington, DC: “In my time at my job, the only real evacuations we’ve had are for the Virginia Earthquake, and, now, a microwave popcorn incident. While another floor was responsible, multiple members of my department took this as an opportunity to make statements about the frequent state of our very own sad microwave. I think this is a fine example of how a committed team can work together to create a masterpiece.”

Oh my, the popcorn fire photo of shame!

(just click the photo above to enlarge)

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: D.C. · microwave · popcorn · that's a fire hazard

You may work here, but you’re not my mother.

April 14th, 2014 · 106 Comments

Pam works at an accounting firm in St. Louis, where, around tax time, it’s not unusual for people to pack all three meals. How did you think Joan’s vigilante food-safety policing went over?

Missing: Three All Beef Hot Dogs

related: A bitter butter battle

Tags: food · non-apology apology · office · St. Louis

Lettuce not praise blameless men

March 18th, 2014 · 98 Comments

Writes our submitter from the UK: “It seems that student living brings out the best in passive aggressive note-writers.”

Hello,  You left this piece of lettuce on the floor last week and I was wondering if you still wanted it? If you do you should maybe keep it in a safer place than the communal kitchen floor.  Just checking,  Alex from room A xxx

related: EAT ME!

Tags: college life · food · smartass

The sugar shelf of death

February 18th, 2014 · 140 Comments

“There’s a shelf in our office, where, every couple of days someone will contribute some sort of sugary/fatty treat,” writes Laura in Seattle. Luckily, one of her coworkers stepped up to enlighten everyone about the death trap they’ve created.”

GET RID OF SUGAR. It's more poisonous than HEROIN. If refined sugar were discovered, it would be categorized as a narcotic like cocaine and heroin; it's as addictive and kills millions more people than all drug overdoses combined. Think about it. Obesity-related illnesses kill more people than everything else combined. And the No. 1 causes of obesity and sugar, fat, and salt.

 

GET RID OF SUGAR. It's more poisonous than HEROIN. If refined sugar were discovered, it would be categorized as a narcotic like cocaine and heroin; it's as addictive and kills millions more people than all drug overdoses combined. Think about it. Obesity-related illnesses kill more people than everything else combined. And the No. 1 causes of obesity and sugar, fat, and salt.

related: Cupcakes are a gateway drug!

Tags: food · hey fatty · office cop · questionable logic · Seattle

I EARNED THIS.

November 4th, 2013 · 75 Comments

Explains David in California: “Because of an ant problem, Julia can’t keep her candy in her room.” Thus…

If anyone eats my candy I will kill them. Seriously, stop. I didn't get very much candy and I had a terrible Halloween filled with sickness. Eat your own candy. I earned this. FIND YOUR HUMANITY.

related: There’s stealing candy from children, and then there’s…this.

Tags: candy · Halloween · most popular notes of 2013

You know what, kid? Maybe you need to start packing your own lunch.

September 24th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Christina in Marietta, Georgia says her 7-year-old daughter pointedly handed her this note when she picked up after school. “For the record,” Christina says, “The bread was fresh, just multigrain instead of whole wheat. The cheese was simply a different brand of Swiss cheese. Both were bought the day before.”

Today on my sandwich the bread was stale and the chese was rotten.

Meanwhile, Steph in St. Paul, Minnesota received this missive from her 6-year-old after running out of garlic salt to sprinkle on her “macken cheese,” thus beginning a 15-month boycott. (“Honestly though,” says Steph, “I don’t think mac & cheese is very healthy anyway, so…”)

 I DO NOT Wont My MackEn chees I absilootly hate macken chees pick owt anether thing but not macken cheese

Finally, Beth in New Jersey got this “friendly letter” sent home from school with her 7-year-old son.

Dear Mom, Please do not give me Sun Chips. I hate them! Write back soon.

related: I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

Tags: cheese · food · kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

Is that a chicken wing in your pocket, or…

September 16th, 2013 · 18 Comments

Those must be some darn big pockets you’ve got there, Elwood.

Elwood- I have you on video tape stuffing chicken wings in your pockets! You owe $82. Roper

(Thanks to Jessi in Illinois for submitting!)

related: A Roadside Intervention

extra credit: “Men accused of stealing $65,000 in chicken wings” [cbsatlanta.com]

Tags: food · Illinois · money · most popular notes of 2013 · public shaming · small town living · stealing