Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”
“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”
Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…
By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.
Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”
To our grandchild, in the spirit not of love, but of familial duty:
We hope you're healthy and everything in your life is going well...but we just can't bring ourselves to accept the idea of any of the people you care about also being healthy and happy. In short, we're OK with you being happy, but anyone close to you, well, they'd just better be having a rotten time.