Entries Tagged as 'butter'

If you get Vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU!

November 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

Hi, a warning!! If you get vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU! If you scrape old margarine back into the tub, I KILL YOU!  In fact, if you touch this margarine you'll have to work very hard just to stay alive. :)

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Tags: Australia · butter · die bitch die · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · smiley · warning

I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

January 15th, 2012 · 29 Comments

Tommy in Norway isn’t the only one getting butt-hurt over butter.

From the U.K…

I don't know your name, but you have seen stealing my butter. Put it back in the  fridge or I will lick EVERYTHING.

to Australia…

Beck' s butter: Lisa if you touch it ur dead!!!!

to Ireland…

Stop eating our butter, and anything else that is ours.

it’s beginning to look like this butter crisis might be going global.

Meanwhile, in America…

related: A bitter butter battle

Tags: butter · licking · stealing

A bitter butter battle

October 11th, 2011 · 189 Comments

“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”

Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…

Dear Roomie, Fun Fact: Butter is a dairy, and dairy spoils!! Unless you want to kill us all, Please stop leaving the butter out.

By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”

Dear 'Roomie', Fun Fact: Clarified butter has preservatives in it that preclude it from spoiling. Although I enjoy your artistic interpretation of the dairy in question, they wouldn't have been able to eat butter in 12th century Scandinavia if it was fragile enough to spoil over night. There's no need for the butter drawing to look so sad.

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

Tags: butter · college life · food · fun fact · rebuttals · roommates · sad face