Entries Tagged as 'candy'
“My best friend works at a hospital as a RN,” Jesse writes, “and one day, after a ridiculously long shift, she reached into the breakroom candy dish expecting, well, candy, and got a handful of pushpins instead. She wrote this note because a) she’s a smartass and b) to warn others.”
Jesse continues: “Minutes later, a doctor came in, reached into the candy dish, and popped one into his mouth. Then he spit it out, exclaiming, ‘This isn’t candy!’ My friend looked at him, and with a straight face said, ‘That’s why the note is there, Doctor.’ He looked down, read the note, and promptly left the room.”
Adds Jesse: “But seriously, what kind of troll puts push pins in a candy dish?”
related: THIS IS A CANDY-OPTIONAL OFFICE
Tags: candy · hospitals & doctors · most popular notes of 2012 · smartass
Well, Dad? What have you got to say for yourself?
(Thanks to Katie in Kansas City for submitting!)
related: Why didn’t you tell me the tooth fairy wasn’t real?
Tags: candy · Halloween · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012
There’s a vending machine troll on the loose in Chicago!
related: The Candyman Can’t
Tags: candy · Chicago · smartass · vending machine drama
Writes Heather in Kentucky: “I keep a basket of candy on my desk, but after having my candy basket completely cleaned out during the night shift on several occasions, I started locking it in my boss’s office overnight.”
A few mornings later, she arrived at her desk to find this oh-so-thoughtful note from one sugar-deprived night-shift worker.
related: This is a candy-optional office
Tags: "helpful" advice · candy · Kentucky · office · your/you're
Spotted next to a festive bowl of Halloween candy in a university administrative office: a preemptive strike at the Jeffs of the world.
(I love it.)
related: Cupcakes make people…
Tags: candy · let me stop you right there · most popular notes of 2011 · office
If you’re looking for an opportunity to study the unique social behavior of primates, there’s a compound in Orlando, Florida you might be interested in visiting.
Consider the package below, which a female named Misty (and no, that’s not a pseudonymous nod to Dian Fossey) recently found outside her dwelling, #14302, apparently left there by the group of lower-ranking females residing directly below.
As you’ve observed, Dr. Goodall, dominant female chimpanzees have been known to deliberately kill the young of other females in the troop in order to maintain their dominance, so perhaps the preemptive Heath-bar offering accompanying the plea for quiet was an intelligent move on the part of these lesser-ranked females.
I’m sure you’ll agree, however, that further scientific study is necessary before any conclusions are drawn.
related: Please get yourself some slippers.
Tags: candy · neighbors · noise · Orlando · visual aids
Larissa in Tacoma, Washington recently sent her 7-year-old son, Silas, to a week of Bible camp. When he came home, Larissa says, she wondered if the experience hadn’t left him a bit…conflicted…especially after seeing the pillow he made during craft time.
(“Rouls,” by the way, is not Silas’s last name. That’s the 7-year-old spelling of “RULES.”)
Meanwhile, I can see how the sign below, from a candy store in Rayne, Louisiana — which I assume was intended to deter this theft — could easily send a particular type of child into a tailspin of religious guilt.
Is God smiling? How do I know if God’s smiling? Does God like chocolate? I don’t think chocolate’s in the Bible. But Proverbs says: ‘My child, eat honey, for it is good.’ So maybe I should get a Bit o’ Honey instead. But a Bit o’ Honey costs more than 50 cents, and Mom said I could only spend 50 cents. So then I’d be dishonoring my parents, and that wouldn’t make God happy. So maybe I should…maybe I should….[bursts into tears]
related: What Would Jesus Do for a Klondike Bar?
Tags: candy · God · guilt trip · Jesus · kids · Louisiana · not so much passive-aggressive · retail hell · Tacoma
According to reports we’re receiving here at PAN headquarters, it appears that proletarians with a predilection for the chocolate-cookie-caramel confection known as Twix are battling Soviet-like conditions in order to procure their precious candy bars.
In some areas, workers are forced to pay a hefty premium (unlike the bosses and bigwigs upstairs).
Even then, what remains for the masses is likely to be rejected, bottom-of-the-carton stock.
And in the hardest hit areas, shortages have led hungry Twix lovers to beg for mercy from The Man himself.
(Thanks to informants Sean in Philadelphia, Rachel in Salt Lake City, and Mark in Buffalo.)
related: Comrades, take notice!
extra credit: Twix bars unfairly taxed in Colorado? [WSJ.com]
Tags: candy · chocolate · office · raging against the machine · vending machine drama
This is one of those notes I’ve spent far too long puzzling over. The frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?
Sir/ma’am, I will gladly supply you with as many Baby Ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought process that led to this note.
related: and yet…the pink flowers?
Tags: candy · God · irregular capitalization · New York · office · stealing · WTF? · You call that punctuation?
“One morning last summer,” writes Stephanie in Illinois, “my brother and I arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (Mind you, it was 8:45 a.m.) Apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘Mr. Candyman’ — had failed to restock the machine for a week, and the ladies of the office had had enough.”
I mean, really. we’re talking about a serious breach of the social contract here, people!
Stephanie and I were both particularly tickled by the the “gas prices” note at top right. (“What does that even mean?” she wonders.)
Meanwhile, Lisa in Nashville spotted this note posted on the vending machine in the studio arts building at Vanderbilt University. “There had been many previous notes asking (nicely) for more Twizzlers,” Lisa says, but as desperation set in, at least one distraught staff member decided to get lyrical on Candyman’s ass.
related: The Pepsi Challenge
Tags: candy · food · Illinois · office · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · raging against the machine · sad face · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama