Entries Tagged as 'cheese'

You know what, kid? Maybe you need to start packing your own lunch.

September 24th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Christina in Marietta, Georgia says her 7-year-old daughter pointedly handed her this note when she picked up after school. “For the record,” Christina says, “The bread was fresh, just multigrain instead of whole wheat. The cheese was simply a different brand of Swiss cheese. Both were bought the day before.”

Today on my sandwich the bread was stale and the chese was rotten.

Meanwhile, Steph in St. Paul, Minnesota received this missive from her 6-year-old after running out of garlic salt to sprinkle on her “macken cheese,” thus beginning a 15-month boycott. (“Honestly though,” says Steph, “I don’t think mac & cheese is very healthy anyway, so…”)

 I DO NOT Wont My MackEn chees I absilootly hate macken chees pick owt anether thing but not macken cheese

Finally, Beth in New Jersey got this “friendly letter” sent home from school with her 7-year-old son.

Dear Mom, Please do not give me Sun Chips. I hate them! Write back soon.

related: I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

Tags: cheese · food · kids · most popular notes of 2013 · Mother-daughter notes

So long, and thanks for all the Swiss

January 12th, 2013 · 45 Comments

At Westside Market in New York City, a cheesemonger gives his final two (hundred and ninety-nine) cents:

TO OUR LOYAL FRIENDS WE WILL NO LONGER BE ABLE TO PUT QUOTES ON OUR LABELS DUE TO ONE PERSONS CONSTANT COMPLAINTS ITS BEEN FUN I HOPE I MADE YOU THINK PETER ANDREW DANIELS THE DR.

related: Don’t blame us — blame the crazy lady!

extra credit: Meet The Mysterious Cheesemonger Behind The Quotable Fromage [gothamist.com]

"It's been a hard days night and I've been working like a dog" - John Lennon

extra extra credit: A Collection of Curiously Eccentric Cheese Labels [nymag.com]

Tags: cheese · don't blame us · New York

Bath Salts are NOT an advisable alternative to cheese sticks.

June 14th, 2012 · 20 Comments

Rhiannon in Missouri opened the fridge at work to find this not-at-all-disturbing note from an anonymous office zombie.

To the person who is stealing and eating cheese sticks that are not his or hers. STOP! Did you buy them? No. Solution: Go to the store and get your own. You can't be that hungry. If you are, gnaw the face off a homeless man.

(The perp’s response: “Well, if you say so!”)

related: Who moved my cheese?

Tags: cheese · most popular notes of 2012 · office fridge

The Silent Treatment

June 8th, 2012 · 68 Comments

Tom’s daughter, Meg, was upset that her mother made her a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner, so she wrote this note to inform her mom of her “punishment.”

Sorry Mom but you knew I do not like cheese I am not going to talk!

Meanwhile, in Salt Lake City, six-year-old Elizabeth tried a similar approach. Her parents were so amused they’ve held on the note for decades since then.

I have taped my mouth shut so I won't have a crying fit. I hope you're happy I really do mom and dad

When I have kids, I really hope I can manipulate them into this sort of thinking…

related: Buckets of my Tears

Tags: cheese · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2012

Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!

August 1st, 2010 · 87 Comments

Frustrated by fridge thieves who continually ignore your polite (or not-so-polite) requests to keep their paws to themselves? Don’t get mad — get creative! You could end up with something so crazy it might actually work…that is, if it doesn’t totally backfire.

You could go for the classic bluff, with the hopes that you’ll inspire just enough self-doubt to encourage the thief to go for the next lunch bag over.

1. Meds in here Don't drink 2. Danger: Rat Poop

My Husband has H1N1 and he made this sandwich

BOB'S URINE

Or you could hold out hope that the thief in question is either very lazy, very stupid…

An excellent theft deterrent...for thieves without opposable thumbs

"No unsecured items allowed in the refrigerator"

…or that he or she appreciates your twisted sense of humor enough to take mercy on your pathetic self.

Please stop eatin my eggs + cheese, Theyre Family Heirlooms.

Or you could just bring this for lunch. (Somehow, I think this would have been safe, even without the note.)

Apparently some sort of pickled fish?

Thanks to Theresa in Birmingham, Alabama; Stacey in Manchester, New Hampshire; Alissa in Memphis, Tennessee; and Marianne in Dublin, Ireland for submitting!

related: That’s breastmilk!

Tags: beverages · cheese · fish · food · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing · tea · water

Kanye interrupts this note

December 28th, 2009 · 117 Comments

I was really hoping this would die before I’d get around to posting about it, but more than four months later, it appears the  “Imma Let You Finish” meme is still chuggin’ along. I’m gonna chalk it up to end-of-the-year insta-nostalgia and, well, let it finish.

Yo dude that stole my lunch I'm real happy for you, I'mma let you finish but the Hamburgler is one of the best food thief of all time...of all time!!!

Kanye interrupts this note

Yo, Cheese Thief! I'm happy for you and Imma let you finish but the Hamburgler was the best food thief of all time!

P.S. Speaking of Tillamook cheddar, Doug Fir in Portland makes the best mac & cheese OF ALL TIME!

related: Somebody’s on Team Taylor Swift

Tags: cheese · dishes · fridge · shameless meme-mongering

Who moved my cheese?

September 29th, 2008 · 175 Comments

Presenting — in honor of British Cheese Weekthree approaches to cheese thievery:

1) Play dumb.

Hey, I'm sure it was a mistake, but I went to the fridge to open a new block of cheese I bought for myself and I found it opened, used, and left unwrapped. What happened? I am confused. Sarah

2) Get tough.

 Note to Cheese/Salami Thief: 1. Campus Security has been notified 2. Lathrop Hall is now on campus 'Orange' alert level of security 3. All building security cameras have been activated. Note: Too much cheese can cause gastro-intestinal distress

3) Oh, F it.

To whoever ate my cheese: fuck you!

related: The right to bear fruit

Tags: cheese · fridge · stealing

Just doing their part to uphold the reputation of Americans abroad

September 2nd, 2008 · 119 Comments

Edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered UCLA’s study abroad program in Granada, Spain last semester.

UCLA STUDENTS: Do not smear cheese on the hotel's door. Otherwise we will have to pay the extra cleaning costs to the hotel (approximately 30 EUROS for last night's episode!!!!!!) If you plan to celebrate end of classes tonight, do it quietly or else do it outside the hotel. Last night other guests complained about UCLA's noise!!!!

Can you blame them? I mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

related: Are you proud to be an American?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Americans abroad · cheese · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · Spain

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Processed-Food Fiend

September 10th, 2007 · 84 Comments

As this example from Winston-Salem, N.C. shows: hell hath no fury like a lactose-loving office worker.

Things that we know have been stolen from this refrigerator recently

The thief might be depending on the fridge’s contents as a source of food, but mercy? Don’t count on it.

Tags: cheese · itemized list · North Carolina · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · stealing · Winston-Salem

It must have been a pretty big bite

June 29th, 2007 · 140 Comments

“My co-workers and I were in love with this note when we found it attached to the office refrigerator,” says Brian in Cleveland. “We wanted a copy, but the woman frightened us. So we came up with an elaborate scheme. One co-worker walked to the kitchen carrying a folder. She grabbed the note, stuffed it inside, and walked down the hallway. She handed it to another co-worker and stood watch. That co-worker raced to give it to me, who rapidly made a copy. Then we reversed the sequence. Within two minutes, the note was back on the fridge, and we were in heaven.”
It is Ok to steal food from people (I'm aggerating): but I am a MOTHER-TO-BE who starved because took a bite out of my lunch meant and cheese.

So worth the effort though, right?

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cheese · Cleveland · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · more aggressive than passive · most popular notes of 2007 · office · office fridge · Ohio · pleasantries as afterthought · preggers · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · stealing