PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » food

Wanted: Justice, with a side of fries.

Kerry — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 03:02:09 +0000

A few days ago, says our submitter in Louisiana, a co-worker left her meal on the lunchroom table while she went to the restroom. When she came back, she discovered that some brazen mo-fo had jacked her sandwich, leaving the empty bag behind.

“Being from the Creative Marketing department,” our submitter says, “she decided to fight back against the food thief with this.”

I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

Kerry — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 22:51:34 +0000

Tommy in Norway isn’t the only one getting butt-hurt over butter.

From the U.K…

to Australia…

to Ireland…

it’s beginning to look like this butter crisis might be going global.

Meanwhile, in America…

related: A bitter butter battle

Eat it; love it. Got it?

Kerry — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 03:50:45 +0000

According to our submitter, Jason and his cake-baking wife are newlyweds. So…I guess the honeymoon’s over?

extra credit: Bruce Bogtrotter’s chocolate cake

Happy National Sandwich Day!

Kerry — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 00:10:36 +0000

Would you care to furnish the last line of this haiku?

related: Sandwich guilt

What am I, the office sugar mama?

Kerry — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:43:52 +0000

Writes Heather in Kentucky: “I keep a basket of candy on my desk, but after having my candy basket completely cleaned out during the night shift on several occasions, I started locking it in my boss’s office overnight.”

A few mornings later, she arrived at her desk to find this oh-so-thoughtful note from one sugar-deprived night-shift worker.

Scat, fat cat!

Kerry — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 04:23:34 +0000

Sometimes it takes a village to raise an obese cat.

Sam spotted this somewhat presumptuous notice while house-hunting in South London. “We looked everywhere for the monster cat,” he says, to no avail. (Perhaps if you’d tried slipping a few opened tins of tuna fish in your pockets?)

Guns? Sure. Tortillas? Hell, no.

Kerry — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:39:11 +0000

Spotted by Tiffany in San Antonio, Texas…

(Not passive-aggressive, just too amusing not to share.)

The not-quite-so-amusing explanation, courtesy of commenter NativeoSanantonio: This is at the Aztec Theater in downtown San Antonio. It’s a live music venue that has a classic country music show. Fans would throw tortillas on stage as a show of appreciation. It was cute at first but quickly got out of control. The performers asked for the “No Tortilla” rule.

Notice: This is a ‘candy optional’ office

Kerry — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 06:53:07 +0000

Spotted next to a festive bowl of Halloween candy in a university administrative office: a preemptive strike at the Jeffs of the world.

(I love it.)

related: Cupcakes make people…

A bitter butter battle

Kerry — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 23:14:08 +0000

“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”

Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…

By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.

Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”

Cupcakes make people [fill in the blank]

Kerry — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 21:36:53 +0000

Well, lookie here: this office in Florida has a “Jeff” of their own!

I pita the fool

Kerry — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 21:41:15 +0000

Writes Elizabeth in Massachusetts: “My dad has taken to mixing hummus and tabbouleh in a bowl and eating it like that, which some reason, drives my brother absolutely crazy. I looked in the fridge today and was not surprised at all to find this note, which my dad ignored.”

Something tells me Elizabeth’s brother might also have an opinion about whether toast can or cannot be refrigerated…and perhaps the appropriateness of Cinnamon Roll Casserole as a workplace snack.

A citation from the fat police

Kerry — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:09:01 +0000

Writes an office worker in Alabama: “A co-worker attends a weekly cooking class in town, and this week they made a Cinnamon Roll Casserole. The co-worker decided to bring it in to work and share it with the office.” The nerve of some people!

related: Loose lips shrink hips

Seven words you CAN say on the box of leftover takeout rice that nobody wanted anyway

Kerry — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 02:43:39 +0000

Writes Randall, of xkcd fame: “This is a box of rice I found in our apartment’s fridge. I’m guessing it belonged to Tedd.”

That extra “d” sure seems to have given Tedd a bit of unresolved rage, huh?

See, this is why people hate vegans.

Kerry — Wed, 06 Jul 2011 21:03:56 +0000

“When I moved in a year ago, my roommate was an ovo-lacto vegetarian, whereas I was (and still am) an omnivore,” explains our submitter in Brooklyn. “She used to not care about my eating habits, but about four months ago she decided to become a full-blown vegan and has been insufferable since then. Yesterday I went food shopping for myself, and when I came back from work today I found this letter on my bedside table.”

(Yeah, the writing is a little hard to read — just wait for the page to load completely, and then click the images below to enlarge.)

related: Carnivore? Keep being awesome!