Entries Tagged as 'fish'

The Patty Hearst of fish

October 7th, 2009 · 164 Comments

Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.

Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess  — a job that generally means bearing the brunt of the bullshit from pissy customers, stressed-out servers, and douche-nozzle managers with very little power to make anyone happy — I can certainly empathize with the note writer…though I highly doubt it’s actually eliminated the litany of  the “oh, that poor fish!” comments that inspired it.

Hi! My name is Rufus (or Rufina) I am 32 years old! I have been in this tank my whole life and I LOVE it here! Please don't say I need a bigger tank, it just makes me feel FAT! (I can't afford therapy!) I am fine really!!!!

passiveaggressivenotes.com: help, my fish has stockholm syndrome!

related: no, yuppie, my cow’s not starving

Tags: anthropomorphism · California · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fish · restaurant

Eau dear

February 11th, 2008 · 96 Comments

This oh-so-subtle note was posted by Mary’s former boss, “a pathetic professor in a backwater institution” where 90% of the graduate students happened to be Korean, Japanese, or Chinese.

“Nevermind that he doused himself with great lashings of Brut in an attempt to jazz up the bald-up-top-ponytail-in-back look he had going on,” Mary says. “There were a lot of things I could have said to him on a post-it, but I decided to be the big kid and quit.” Luckily for us, she swiped this note off the breakroom microwave first.

NO FISH. Is this subtle enough?

Interestingly, it seems fish-hating office workers elsewhere also share an affinity for clip art.

No fish in the microwave

When Heating Fish In the Microwave

Spongebob takes a stand

related: No smelly foods

Tags: a little insensitive · a matter of taste · clip art catastrophe · college life · excessive capitalization · fish · microwave · odor · office · spelling and grammar police

Through a glass bowl, darkly

February 9th, 2008 · 53 Comments

Cate in Columbus went out of town for a night, and sadly, her absence was enough to provoke her betta fish (Pope Shaivo the Third) to jump out of his bowl and end it all. Meanwhile,Cate says her roommates, apparently unwise to the suicidal tendencies of bettas, “thought I had placed it on my desk and just left it there!”

Cate (fish killer),  We would really appreciate it if you would get your dead fish off the desk + give it a proper burial. Your roommates!

related: Those hamsters were shivering, not dancing

Tags: Columbus · fish · roommates