Molly said this ice cream shop on the Jersey Shore was filled with signs of the “You’re in New Jersey, bitch” variety, but this one was perhaps the most obnoxious of them all.
“As it turns out,” Molly says, “my imagination didn’t quite capture the essence of the Mocha Chocolate Crunch that I ordered. If I’d had a sample, I would have realized the nuttiness was just too much for my delicate palate.”
related: It’s not food, it’s ice cream!
Tags: "customer service" · ice cream · New Jersey · tourists
In this episode of targeted advertising gone awry, Jill in Nashville went the grocery store and bought a bag of chocolate chips (“to make cookies for work”) and one pint of Ben & Jerry’s (“just one, mind you!”)
If Jill sounds a little defensive, that’s probably because — thanks to some disarmingly deadpan algorithms — she received this perky little coupon along with her receipt.
Meanwhile, a submitter in Ohio was about to reach for the Cherry Garcia — but stopped short when she spotted this “sign from above.”
related: Are you calling me fat?
Tags: bad sales pitch · food · hey fatty · ice cream · Nashville · Ohio
For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie). “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”
![Your [sic] doing So great. Didn't want you to Have too much, But just enough. Have a great Birthday!](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4081/4863815653_70bfbb4fbf.jpg "Your [sic] doing So great. Didn't want you to Have too much, But just enough. Have a great Birthday!")
related: Take this and go buy yourself a couple of scales, okay, sweetie?
Tags: Arizona · birthday · ice cream · irregular capitalization · Mothers-in-Law · your/you're
This good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!
(click the image below to enlarge)
Tags: all-staff e-mail · God · guilt trip · ice cream · schools & teachers · stealing · you're like so going to hell
Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)
related: but He took the wheel
Tags: apostrophe abuse · college life · excessive underlining · heart · ice cream · Illinois · irregular capitalization · not-so-veiled threats · spelling and grammar police · touching · You call that punctuation? · you're like so going to hell
Tourist traps have the best signs. More proof? This exercise in subtlety is from Provincetown, Mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer Teresa from Boise.
Exhibit b) is from Washington, D.C., in a store Sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from Nixon and Michael Jackson pins to African drums and sweaters.”
And in Las Vegas, even “the ice cream of the future” doesn’t get a special exemption.
Tags: beverages · blitzkrieg approach · Cape Cod · CAPS LOCK · D.C. · food · ice cream · Massachusetts · questionable logic · smoking · tourists
