Entries Tagged as 'food'
“Our department head thought we should be be bringing in doughnuts more often,” says our anonymous submitter in Illinois. One of the department’s “severely underpaid” underlings, meanwhile, thought otherwise.
UPDATE: For those of you asking “But where’s the ridiculous clip art?!” I bring you this rather dashing toreador/sheriff (as spotted by Mel in the break room of her Ithaca, New York office).
While Mel doesn’t disagree with the sentiment behind the note, “It’s a bit off-putting to be presumed guilty of theft before the fact,” she says. “Also, there seems to be a degree of randomness to the number of exclamation points at the end of each line.” (And of course, that dandy of a sheriff.)
related: Straight out of the Michael Scott Playbook
Tags: bold underlined italics · bullet points · coffee · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · Illinois · now that's management · office · raging against the machine · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
“My stepsister, Grace, kept ripping the tab off the cereal box every time she tried to close it,” writes Danielle in Michigan. “My mom got very frustrated and taped this note to the top of the box” — an act I’m sure only helped to strengthen to bond of the stepmom/stepdaughter relationship.
Wouldn’t you love to hear Grace’s side of the story?
related: cereal killer
Tags: cereal · food · Michigan · Moms & Dads
“My roommate in college was allergic to everything,” says Casey in Watsonville, California — and she talked about it ad nauseam. “For her birthday sophomore year, we went to buy her a cake but of course she was allergic to everything good. So in the end, I just got a cake I liked and we bought her some crappy vegan thing that wouldn’t make her break out.”
(The cake, Casey says, was “delicious.”)
related: “I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.
extra credit: CakeWrecks.com
Tags: birthday · cake · mean girls · non-apology apology · roommates
Vaguely fishy notes like this one from Toronto are pretty common around office kitchens…
…but I’ve never seen a note that gets right to the point quite like this one from Amber in San Francisco.
related: It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)
Tags: fish · kitchen · microwave · odor · office
I was really hoping this would die before I’d get around to posting about it, but more than four months later, it appears the “Imma Let You Finish” meme is still chuggin’ along. I’m gonna chalk it up to end-of-the-year insta-nostalgia and, well, let it finish.
P.S. Speaking of Tillamook cheddar, Doug Fir in Portland makes the best mac & cheese OF ALL TIME!
related: Somebody’s on Team Taylor Swift
Tags: cheese · dishes · fridge · shameless meme-mongering
As we’ve noted here before, the white-collar nuisance known as the nibbler has been pathetically picking his (half)way through office kitchenettes across the land for some time now.
While the nibbler’s actions are usually met with disdain, one oh-so-compassionate office-worker from Omaha decided to take a different approach — an e-mail intervention, of sorts. I’d also be interested to see his advice for Mike in Cleveland, who seems to have similar delusions about the health impact of eating 9 donuts instead of 10.
(click the image below to enlarge)
The kicker? As it turns out, according to our anonymous submitter,”the bandit was, in fact, a guy!”
related: Just take the whole slice next time, okay?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · food · office · pleasantries as afterthought
writes our anonymous submitter in Cleveland: “My roommate Mike is usually a generous guy, but he’s very possessive of his coffee, beef jerky, and other certain food indulgences. This note was sort of touching; he didn’t want to share, made that clear, but then decided he probably should — not for me though, but for his waistline. What a sweetheart!”
related: you’re not wrong, walter
Tags: Cleveland · food · sharing is caring
Office lunch thieves: always despicable, and in this case — gullible, too.
The “helpful” (yet oh-so-devious) all-staff e-mail sent by the victim:
And — I shit you not — the response:
related: lean cuisine
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Columbus · food · office fridge · oh snap
Laura in Los Angeles spotted this note at a tropical-themed family restaurant in Rosemead, California, where aquariums figure heavily into the decor. The biggest fish, Laura says, occupies his (her?) own tank at the front of the restaurant.
Piscine body image issues aside, as a former casual-dining restaurant hostess — a job that generally means bearing the brunt of the bullshit from pissy customers, stressed-out servers, and douche-nozzle managers with very little power to make anyone happy — I can certainly empathize with the note writer…though I highly doubt it’s actually eliminated the litany of the “oh, that poor fish!” comments that inspired it.
related: no, yuppie, my cow’s not starving
Tags: anthropomorphism · California · exclamation-point happy!!!! · fish · restaurant
This good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!
(click the image below to enlarge)
related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?
Tags: all-staff e-mail · God · guilt trip · ice cream · schools & teachers · stealing · you're like so going to hell