Entries Tagged as 'food'

“I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

September 12th, 2008 · 115 Comments

(My roommate disagreed.)

Fuck you! I made a cake anyway :)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)

related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

Tags: birthday · Brooklyn · cake · Park Slope · roommates · smiley

The PANtheistic approach

September 7th, 2008 · 86 Comments

At Yale Divinity School, the daily chapel service is followed by a coffee hour. Apparently, says Sara in New Haven, “Some who skip chapel were helping themselves to the goodies before the intended time. Looks like the ‘keeper of the snacks’ has something to say about this.”

if you take anything from here...I KNOW ABOUT IT. (because i am everywhere) -the holy spirit

don't make me pull out my lightning bolts. sincerely, god (zeus version)

Meanwhile, John in Sudbury, Massachusetts spotted this humble plea outside the local Catholic church.

Please return traffic cones -God

related: So much for turning the other cheek

Tags: food · God · guilt trip · Massachusetts · New Haven

Just doing their part to uphold the reputation of Americans abroad

September 2nd, 2008 · 119 Comments

Edward says this sign was posted on every floor and inside all the elevators at the hotel that headquartered UCLA’s study abroad program in Granada, Spain last semester.

UCLA STUDENTS: Do not smear cheese on the hotel's door. Otherwise we will have to pay the extra cleaning costs to the hotel (approximately 30 EUROS for last night's episode!!!!!!) If you plan to celebrate end of classes tonight, do it quietly or else do it outside the hotel. Last night other guests complained about UCLA's noise!!!!

Can you blame them? I mean, really — what a waste of perfectly good manchego!

related: Are you proud to be an American?

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Americans abroad · cheese · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · noise · Spain

Coming soon: the all-you-can-spell buffet

August 31st, 2008 · 80 Comments

Jesse says he spotted this sign at a great Mongolian restaurant in the Dallas area. “They recently changed their name from Ton’s Mongolian Grill to Tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”

Tao''s Gadren [sic] offers all you can buffet not all you can waste. Thank you!

related: Best. Potluck. Theme. Ever.

Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · Dallas/Fort Worth · food · restaurant · spelling and grammar police

Sorry, I’ve been sharing the olive oil with the squirrels

August 19th, 2008 · 176 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Takoma Park, Maryland says her roommate is constantly leaving little post-its and e-mails for the other roommates, but  I think these two have a bit of yum-o synchronicity.

Hi all, If you are in the habit of sharing our extra virgin olive oil, it is your turn to buy some.... if not, well, I guess I'm out of olive oil.

re: bread in trash — Is there any reason not to feed to squirrels, compost, or even eat this bread?

related: The first thing I did when I woke up

Tags: e-mail · food · Maryland · roommates · Takoma Park · thanks (but not really) · The Earth

Especially Deborah

August 17th, 2008 · 215 Comments

As this sign from a Montgomery, Alabama breakroom shows, “PopCorn Users” remain one of the most persecuted groups in the workplace today.

Microwave PopCorn Users (Especially — Deborah) Do Not Burn PopCorn Do Not Leave PopCorn Unattended Stay Here While popcorn cooks

related: Bizarre pardoning accident

Tags: Alabama · bold-underlined-caps · excessive underlining · gloriously redundant · high on highlighter · irregular capitalization · microwave · Montgomery · most popular notes of 2008 · office · popcorn

Massive canine infestation

August 5th, 2008 · 217 Comments

Tom from Cambridge, England spotted this notice posted in “the tiniest little toilet in my college hall” — so tiny, he says, there’s “barely enough room to fit a dog in there if you tried.” (But a few raw steaks? Perhaps!)

Due to massive canine infestation we must ask you to please not leave any uncovered food out in this bathroom. Thank you Housekeeping

(Massive Canine Infestation: sharing the stage with The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle at a Warped Tour show near you!)

related: So many questions

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · food · fun with malapropisms · Say wha? · toilet · U.K. · vermin · WTF?

Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

May 19th, 2008 · 111 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted these notes in the shared kitchen of a “professional building” — one our submitter says is full of shrinks. Perhaps one of them could deduce whether “i.e. me” fits the DSM’s criteria for a diagnosis…or whether she’s just having a little trouble with her Latin.

i.e., me

related: eau dear
extra credit: “food odors at work” [chowhound.com]

Tags: casual xenophobia · food · Freudian shit · i.e. or e.g. it's all greek -- or is it latin? -- to me · odor · office fridge · oh snap

Maybe it’s time for Sally Struthers to get involved

May 14th, 2008 · 140 Comments

With finals and thesis deadlines coming up, stress levels among grad students at UC-Berkeley have been running high (which means attention to the finer points of, say, apostrophe use, are running low). And now there’s a lunch thief on the loose!

Taking food is a penal code violation and we have reported these thefts to the cops.

Sadly, says our submitter, the note’s multi-pronged approach (guilt, threats, helpful advice) seems to have had no effect; the lunch thief remains at large. The next course of action? “We’re considering planting laxative-laced desserts.”

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Berkeley · California · college life · food · fridge · kitchen · preggers · stealing · the homeless · warning

Our customers are always right…except when they’re wrong.

April 25th, 2008 · 117 Comments

Heather says this pizzeria in Victoria, B.C. has been confounding customers with its customer service “policy” for as long as she can remember. (Which I guess means…it’s working?)

Our customers are very important to us - as important as water is to life. Please remember that nobody likes bad water.

related: ps bacon is life

Tags: "customer service" · Canada · mixed metaphors · pizza · restaurant